Blanks, Dots and Spirals
by Nuclear Burp
Summary: Ninja don't have time to look into the eyes of somebody else, but they can listen to the tales of the great to pass what little time they have. Drabble collection. Number 20: InoGaa
1. NaruHina: Actors and Reflections

_This one is a little silly, and a little full of OCC. Still, it's kinda funny, and it's pretty damn big. Took me two hours, this!_

_Read and review, pigslaves!_

* * *

"Naruto, _please_ hold still for a minute." Hinata sighed as she straightened the tie of her date. Weeks of training together, eating together; even _bathing_ together (And her ears still turned pink at the memory. He promised not to look during the mixed-bath sessions at the local onsen, but it was still... a little embarrassing.) had the village talking, rumours flinging themselves from mouth to mouth until they lighted on the ears of one Hyuuga Hiashi.

At the revelation that his daughter, who while not the woman he needed to uphold the fine honour of the clan (But still capable of bringing scandal upon the main house), was dating none other than the Demon vessel, it was quite akin to a hurricane in a teacup.

To say all hell broke loose is quite incorrect. Even the most disgusting of the netherworlds have standards; there wouldn't have been nearly as much carnage if Satan and all his little minions burned through the earth and began the Apocalypse then when the Hyuuga head snapped.

After picking through the wreckage of what used to be the main dojo, Neji enquired as to the possible solutions regarding the affairs of the heart his daughter was experiencing. They came up with three outcomes.

The first, predictably, was the gruesome demise of Naruto, which Neji admitted had a certain charm to it, but was ultimately ruled out on the basis that it would cause no end of Paperwork. That, and he _had_ saved the village, something that a few of the more lax clans were accepting far too easily.

The second, which met with a cold glare from the Hyuuga Prodigy when voiced, was the emplacement of the Branch seal on Hinata's forehead. Hiashi contemplated it, but eventually gave up the idea declaiming that even if it was only a Branch member (Neji's fists clenched at the 'only') who had a liaison with the Demon Boy, it would still be an unforgivable stain on the Hyuuga name.

The third, voiced by Neji, was the inauguration of one Uzumaki Naruto into the finer art of etiquette and deportment. Hiashi gave him a rare display of emotion, a face set into the 'OMGWTFBBQ' series of lines that quite told of the elder's bewilderment. The talk continued into the night, ranging from the hows and whys to the whens, wheres and who's. As the dawn broke, with surveyors and a token architect measuring the perimeter of the new proposed dojo, Neji and Hiashi were still unrelenting in their debate.

Finally, due to an unspoken condition of Hiashi's involving nine of the morning and his intestinal tract, the plan was decided. Take the boy to a social, refined event, and observe his behaviour.

Art galleries weren't much to go for, as it bored the Hyuuga, not given to introspection, far too quickly for it to be much use. Besides, with the Byakugan at their beck and call, a whole gallery of works could be seen, summarized and noted within the space of a minute.

A formal ball might have been a token gesture of acceptance, and as such was immediately ruled out.

For some strange reason, both of them had decided on European Opera at the same time, rather than Kabuki theatre. Something about watching effeminate men in long hair wigs and white faces pretending to be females made the Hyuuga strangely uncomfortable. Something like Deja'vu.

(Wherever he was, Haku was sniggering to himself)

_And that_, Hinata thought to herself, _was about half an hour before Naruto-kun found himself tressed up by his ankles to have Otou-sama yell at him until his throat grew hoarse, an hour before Neji explained what the entire deal was actually about, two hours before Neji and Lee strung him along to go shopping for tuxedos..._

She huffed, giving his tie one last tug before standing back to observe her handiwork.

_And three days before anybody told me what was going on!_

"Hina-chan?" Her _Maybeishe?_ Boyfriend spoke up, breaking her out of thought. She looked up and cocked her head at him, trying to copy his movements and throw him off guard. It was a good way to tell whether the next question was a serious one, as he'd often ask if something was wrong with her neck if it wasn't.

He didn't.

"Naruto?" She asked with a hint of curiosity, droping the familiar suffix and going just for name. Hopefully, having somebody speak to him naturally would draw his out of his mask.

"Do I... really have to...?" He motioned at the suit that he was currently engarbed within, a simple but formal set of black trousers, white long-sleeved shirt and a dinner jacket with the Konoha spiral inlaid in gold leaf on the chest. Naruto had wanted orange (Surprise surprise), while Lee argued for a indefinitely more masculine (Read: Revolting) red-and-green affair that would have turned more stomachs than heads.

Neji, however, had put his foot down (On Lee's foot, to be precise) and opted for the, as he put it, 'Less retarded outfits, please'.

Hinata, on the other hand, was wearing a simple strapless black dress that showed only a little cleavage, but tight enough to show off her hips to the world. The silk and stain flowed gently around her ankles as she walked slowly towards her date.

"Naruto-kun, I know this will be hard, but..." Hinata sighed, before drawing close to the boy and resting her arms over his shoulders. "... Please do this for me, Father is serious about considering you as a possible heir." She buried her head in the hollow between his chin and chest.

"Really? He can see how awesome I am, huh?"

"Actually, it's more like he doesn't think he can marry me off." Hinata smiled, relieved that that particular piece of opinion, at least, had saved her from an early arrangement.

"Wow... your dad's a real dick, you know." He wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling the top of her forehead and kissing it lightly. "How'd you get to be so nice when every other Hyuuga is a jerk?"

Hinata simply snuggled closer. "Don't be like that, Naruto-kun. Hanabi isn't so bad, and Neji's a lot better with his... what's the word?"

"Stick-up-the-ass-itis?" Naruto ventured, grinning when the expected poke in the ribs came up. Hinata looked up at him, pretending to frown.

"Be nice, Naruto." She pouted, slipping her hands up to the back of his head, digging into his scruffy blond hair. "You look very dashing, but that won't excuse you from badmouthing my family tonight." She pulled him a little closer to her, her lips opening slightly in anticipation as his lips closed the distance to hers.

"So no excuses, Naruto-kun. No regrets, no second chances; be the man I admire tonight, the man I need tonight..." She huffed a small breath, heated and potent as their lips grazed each other, tentative and teasing. Suddenly the air seemed to be very, _very_ hot, and her nearly-modest dress seemed to be very confining, almost begging her to slip it off...

Somebody coughed from the doorway. "Hinata-sama."

"Never fails." She heard Naruto mumble under his breath as he broke away from the intimacy the two were starting to enjoy. Her own sheen of disappointment ran to spill in a light blush over her face as she turned to look at her cousin, dressed in a classic tux, his ponytail altered so that a portion of his long fringe angled from his parting line to cover his seal before joining the rest. Tenten could be seen silently cheering them behind him in a red dress that revealed a lot of strong, smooth thigh to the world, giving them both the thumbs up before tugging on her teammate's ear.

"Ow. Hinata, five minutes before we leave."

Naruto grumbled as he checked his reflection in the mirror one last time, before holding his arm out to Hinata who, blushing a little further, wrapped her own around it.

"Well, Hina-hime, the show must go on..." He winked. Hinata suddenly felt very, very worried.

--

Both the young shinobi were quite surprised to see a number of the Rookie nine present at the reception, not counting Neji and Tenten. Kiba, Hana and Tsume were seen frequenting the buffet in rather rumbled suits alongside Akimichi Chouza, Chouji conspicuous only in his absence. Shino was, unbelievably, talking to a trio of younger women with his glasses off, though neither could see his eyes at the angle he was facing.

"Do you think he made his bugs dress up as well?" Naruto wondered, earning a giggle from his partner. "I mean, parasitic insects in suits... they'd put accountants out of business in a heartbeat, right?"

"Naruto, how do you do?" Somebody spoke up from behind him. He heard Hinata gasp as he turned, his reply already on his lips.

"I'm fine, thank-... _Lee?_"

Indeed, Konoha's green beast was no longer... green. Gone was the spandex, the leg warmers, and even the bowlcut. Only a white shirt and cream-pressed pants hung on the boy, his once-attrocious hair gelled until it swept back in a series of spikes. Not exactly formal, but better than could be expected.

"Yes, Naruto-kun. I came to broaden my mind at Gai-sensei's request." Lee sighed wistfully, "And perhaps to make a better impression on the lovely Sakura-chaaaaaaan..." His final note dragged on a little, prompting a few patrons nearby to stare at him strangely.

"I'm sure you will, Lee-san. You look very..." Hinata looked him up and down, and finally settled on the only neutral word she could think of. "... Youthful."

"Thank you. Have you seen the beautiful blossom anywhere, by chance?" Lee smiled hopefully, the smile droping a little when both replied in the negative. "I shall continue to mingle, then. Until the interval. Naruto-kun, Hinata-san."

And with that, he walked away, leaving behind a stunned Fox and Princess in his wake.

"I gotta admit, I kinda wish I had his fancy talk right about now."

Kiba, wobbling slightly from the buffet (The half-full champange glass in his hand told the story) towards the duo, tried not to trip over anyone. "I swear, the forever-sexy Kibamobile is gonna go for a solo drive after this if I can't figure out the posh lingo."

"Kiba-kun!" Hinata admonished, "You're drunk!"

"No I'm not, I haven't started dancing on tables yet. I haven't even given a striptease!" He countered, "I'm only mellow, so don't rock me, cutie." He leered, looking rather similar in expression to a certain Pervy sage.

"I think you need a good long drink of water, Kiba." Naruto growled, moving in front of Hinata as Kiba looked her over. "So go jump in a lake."

"Piss off." Kiba slurred, glaring at his teammate's date.

"Kiba, everyone's going in. Come on!" Tsume's harsh voice was heard over the crowd, which was starting to move towards the audience hall.

"You got lucky, Uzumaki." Kiba slumped his shoulders, cast one last longing look at Hinata, and slouched forward to find his seat.

"Don't worry, he's just being protective." Hinata said with false cheer, lying through her teeth.

"It's time to go, Naruto-kun. Come along."

--

"I don't get it."

Hinata sighed as Naruto whispered his confusion. "It's quite easy, the Baron von Richtoven has captured the Count de Duress' youngest daughter, Chastitia, who ventures out at the dead of night, disguised as the captain of the watch's fictional son, Antonio. Meanwhile..."

Naruto grimaced as Hinata began relaying the plot to him, instead devoting his thoughts to observing his friends and possible enemies.

Hiashi and Hanabi were seated behind them, eyes not on the theatre but on the young couple they intended to monitor. Naruto wished he could flip them the bird in the privacy of his own mind, but he was leaving his visualization processes open for something else.

Kiba and Shino were seated together with the others in the stalls (Shino having replaced his glasses with a pair of tiny binoculars) and holding a heated conversation with a pair of newly minted Chunin up the front, although the bug user didn't look like he was contributing much. Hana and Chouza were likewise engaged in quiet conversation (Seeing as Hana was a Vegetarian, and Chouza was an avid meat-eater, this was only to be expected sooner or later), leaving Tsume nodding off to sleep in the next aisle.

Lee was obviously not interested in the theatre, scanning the crowd furiously for any sign of pink hair. Neji was keeping his eyes pinned on the stage, while Tenten was seated beside him with her head resting on her fist, clearly bored.

_It's time. Sorry, Hina-chan, but I can't pass this up!_

Naruto Uzumaki grinned, kissed his date on the lips, leaving her opening her mouth and closing it repeatedly as her train of thought crashed. A feel of movement behind them told that Hiashi had noted the little act and was not amused.

_Lets see how much he likes this one, then!_

All of the actors on the stage stopped in their recital as a loud voice cut through the walls of the hall.

"I don't know about you guys, but I think this little show could use some spice!"

"Wha-? Who'dat?" Tsume could be heard jerking out of her slumber.

Hinata stiffened, that booming voice sounded just like...

_Where had Naruto gone? Oh no! No! No! No! Naruto-kun, He's LOOSE!!_

As she realised that her man was no longer in his chair, the actors and the musicians in the pit all burst out of reality in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a throng of grinning Narutos and a stereo cranking out the musical score.

The attention was on the stage, now, as a lone Shadow clone dressed in robes made his way to the centre stage, intoning his part.

"Friends, Shinobi, countrymen, listen well to the tale well played by none other than your faithful acting troupe, this tragedy of tragedies, this comedy to end all comedies, complete with cruel fates, banana pies, shirtless men for the ladies..."

Tenten suddenly seemed to be paying close attention, trying to imagine if Naruto would henge into Neji and make him strip. It would be the ultimate blackmail!

Plus, the idea of seeing Neji shirtless did have a definite appeal...

"... Topless ladies for the men..." One of the Oiroke'd Narutos stood up, clad in an open-top Geisha gown, winking at the audience.

Hinata turned beet red, Hiashi almost racked a line through the wood of his chair with his fingernails, and Kiba's cheering sounded through the hall.

"Whoooo! That's what I came here to see!"

"You came to the opera to view naked women? They didn't mention that in the program." Shino's stoic voice could be made out, drawing a round of laughter from the crowd.

"... And plenty of luuuuurve." The speaker stuck out his tongue at Hinata's position, where she gave a nervous wave back.

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away... Huh? What's that? Wrong line?" One of the 'prompts' hissed at him from the wings, making him pause.

"Sorry... A long time ago, in a village not too far from here, lived a young, handsome, astonishingly incredible man, who shall remain nameless. Now, he had heard of the great lands of the Pastafarians, who grew all the wheat in the land to make delicious noodles, and desired to go and try the wonderful dishes they created..."

"How'd we guess that Noodles would be in the picture?" Neji sighed.

"... _Shut up, you_. Anyway, as he came of age, there grew rumours of a giant monster that rampaged over the countryside, crushing the city of Vermicelli, the town of Spaghetti, the Macaroni pronvinces lay in waste! The only land still left intact was the mighty, the prosperous...!"

"Here it comes..." Neji sighed again.

"... RAMENOPOLIS!!"

"... There we go."

"_Neji, can it_! So, the young boy swore to protect the precious city against the oncoming doom of the monster at the cost of his own life, and fashioned a sword out of Cardboard and duct-tape!"

The aforesaid sword was thrust into the air, indeed made out of Cardboard and duct-tape. Kiba snorted, Hana laughed, and Lee made a single proclamation of 'Such a craft of love! Such a weapon!'

The scene-board behind the Shadow-clone rose up into the vault above the stage, and another one (Depicting a poorly drawn city) clunked noisily in its place, accompanied by a shrill hiss of 'Sorry, the pulley snapped!'

"He reached the city, and all was well, though fear hung in the air, and just as he was about to try the special dish at a harbour stall, who else would arrive, but..."

_Kichiyose no jutsu!_

A massive puff of smoke, and the Frog boss Gamabunta squatted on the left side of the stage, his body covered with suds and wielding a loofah instead of a sword. He turned to give the centre-stage Naruto a tired look.

"**I thought you said next Tuesday, brat?**"

"'Bunta, just say the line, like we rehearsed!"

Gamabunta took a long, pained look at the audience, and grumbling about idiot foxes and damning humanity in general, spoke the one of the few lines he had in the improvised opera.

"**Ribbit-ribbit-godIhateyousomuchrightnow-ribbit.**"

"EGADS!! The death call! The croak of utmost evil! Who could save us from the evil toad king? Who, but the mighty Pork'n'beanie!" One shadow-clone cried to the crowd, ignoring the sight of Tenten trembling with the effort to not break into fits of laughter. Kiba snorted before turning to Shino, informing his teammate of the intended toilet-humour in the name. A few chuckles at the absurdity came from the audience.

"_PORK'N'BEANIE?!"_

Hyuuga Hiashi stood tall as the last of his patience spent itself, face crimson with fury, pointing a shaking finger at the stage.

"Uzumaki Naruto! Cease this absolutely shameful display THIS INSTANT!!" He roared, his voice carrying through the hall, into the wings, touching the rock itself with his boundless rage.

"Hark! Our troubles manifest twice! The familiar, the white demon doth approach!" Another Clone dressed ridiculously in knickerbockers and lederhousen cried in despair.

"DEMON?! Who... are... you... to call me..." The Head's temple throbbed with tension, veins sticking out like hills over the plains of his brow. Hinata squeaked a bit at the coming bloodshed that was sure to follow, not noticing how the air behind her had rippled at the intrusion of a solid body.

"He comes to mark the fair maiden of Ramenopolis, the lovely Kuchikuchiku, as the sacrifice in return for the safety of our fair city!" Another Shadow-clone had Shushin'd behind Hinata and gave her a quick tickle, disappearing in a puff of mist as Haishi landed a solid blow on the back of its head.

"Why! This atrocity must be stopped!" Another Naruto stepped out of the wings, clad in armour, using a colander as a helmet and a straw dummy as a sword.

"Hail! It is the mighty Pork'n'beanie!" The 'Townsfolk' cried, drawing a collective laugh from the crowd, "We are forever saved!"

"Indeed! Now, first I'll deal with this monster..." He thrust his sword at Gamabunta, who yawned, "... And then my reward, all the pork and beans I could ever eat!"

"We don't have any pork or beans, here." Another Naruto informed him.

"What? No Pork or beans!? Screw the lot of you, I'm gone!"

With a puff of smoke, the hero disappeared.

"At this point, the townsfolk despaired, for the act had angered the monster!" The centre-stage Naruto intoned, "He began to destroy the city!"

"**Grrr. Gama Smash."** The toad boss muttered to the amusement of the crowd.

"Bunta, you're supposed to move!"

"**I'm squashed like a tadpole in his egg, you idiot! I can't move for jack!**" The toad growled.

"Right! And then, who should come out but the mighty 'Nameless-dude-who-is-awesome-and-rocks-forever'!"

A fair ammount of the audience actually applauded when Naruto stepped out, dressed in his suit and beaming to the throng as he flourished his cardboard sword. Hanabi managed to pull her father down into his seat, muttering about Murder and Witnesses.

"Yeah! Sweet! Oi, I'm gonna make you guys a deal, I get rid of the Toad, I get the smoking hot princess in return, deal?"

"Don't I get a say in this?" Hinata rose to her feet, grinning under the influence of adrenaline-fueled terror.

"Sure, and...?" Naruto and the audience waited, Haishi's eyes neared bulged out of his head.

"... Uh... O-okay. You get me." She muttered, and sat back down. There were quite a few wolf whistles from the crowd.

'Which half?'

'Where can he get you?'

'Can I watch?'

Naruto glared at the catcallers, and returned to the act.

"Right! Anyway! Monster!"

Naruto turned towards Gamabunta, a heroic (Read: Constipated) look on his face.

"Whyfore thoust henceforward thingy blowing up the towns...est?" He asked without smiling, although a few of the people in the Stands were amused by his lack of wording.

"**I was hungry.**" The Boss tried to shrug, but the confines made it impossible. He settled for blinking.

"Ah, but Toads don't eat noodles."

"**Oh yeah. Whoops. Guess I killed hundreds of people by mistake.**"

"Right, now, seeing as you have turned over a new leaf..."

"**No I haven't."**

"..._Shutupshutup_I guess I can let you go free." Naruto waved his sword again for good measure.

"**Sounds like a plan.**"

"However, You're obviously too hideous to let loose unto the world-"

Gamabunta narrowed his eyes. "**Watch it, pipsqueak.**"

"-I'm going to have to kill you until you die."

"**Gee whiz, couldn't you just kill me until I had a boo-boo?**" Gamabunta taunted sarcastically.

"Nope, has to be dead."

Saying that, Naruto flung the sword square at the Toad-summon's chest. But instead on imbedding itself in his armpit like they'd agreed, it bounced off the Bosses stomach. He blinked, and turned to give the audience one last sour look.

"**Bugger. I'm dead.**"

With a massive puff of smoke and a mutter of '**You owe me BIG, brat.**', the summon vanished, probably back to his bath.

"Yes! He is dead! One princess to go, please!"

Five Shadow clones burst into view, grabbed Hinata and lifted her out of her seat, gently manhandling her to the centre-stage, where Naruto slipped a hand around her waist and gave the thumbs up to the people in the theatre.

"The end! Don't drink and Drive!"

With a series of hand-seals, he, Hinata, and all the other clones vanished into thin air.

--

"Wait, is the show over?" Kiba spoke to the people beside him, who shrugged. "Sweet! Time for booze!"

Shino shook his head, wondering what possessed his teammate to go insane... And he wasn't thinking about Kiba.

Neji and Tenten had found... _other_ ways to pass the time, groping each other and sucking face on the floor between the aisles. It turns out that random, senseless opera was Neji's big kink.

No, the Author doesn't know how that came to be, either.

Lee, surmising that Sakura wasn't coming, went out to buy some Tacos.

Hana and Tsume left to find a few tipsy men that they'd met during the reception.

Chouza was busy explaining that the chair beneath him had collapsed due to metal strain, not overloading, to the insurance man beside him.

Hiashi's brain had fried with the insanity, and he was lying comatose on his seat.

Hanabi stole his wallet. What she spent the money on is anyones guess, though the 'Stripperman' underwear found in her room two days later caused a lot of disturbed comments to come to light.

The madness, it seemed, was spreading.

--

"So, Hina-chan, what did you think?"

"My father is going to kill you." She sighed, kissing his cheek as he dropped her off at the Hyuuga estate.

"Yeah, well... You had fun, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think I got my point across?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Oh, and Hinata?"

"Yeah?"

He smirked. That wasn't a good sign.

"You know, I think I might have to lie low for a while, wanna come with?"

"Naruto-kun..." She sighed, flicking his forehead, "I think I have to run damage control over here, so I can't go."

"That's cool. But when I come back..." He moved forward a little, backing her against the stone wall. She could feel the warmth streaming off him in great, pulsing waves. His lips brushed against hers, but this time there were no interruptions as he nibbled lightly on her bottom lip, pulling her closer with his left hand, his right resting on her hips.

It started off simply, lips flowing slowly together like ripples, faces moving to get the best fit, moisture pooling lightly as the kiss began to deepen, until they found themselves fighting for dominance in a battle of tongues. Feinting, parrying, riposte after riposte, soft moaning and the roaming of hands.

His unbidden thigh softly pressed into the hollow between hers, and she gasped. Disengaging from the liplock, Hinata trembled a little and griped his shoulders.

"N-Naruto-kun... please... I don't... I'm still... Scared." She shuddered again, sliding her hand through his hair as he blinked in confusion.

"Scared?"

"Naruto, please... I... you... I don't know. It's not that it's fast, but..."

She tried to get her thoughts in order, trying not to be distracted by the feel of his hands lightly skimming over her breasts, or the tingling when her body reacted to his subtle impression on he groin. She tried to find the words, but none came out.

"... I'm... just not used to this, I don't think. Can... can we not try that... what you just did... for a while?" She didn't know what she was saying, she didn't know what she was thinking. It still didn't sound right.

"Oh. Sorry." He looked a little frightened himself.

"I'm not mad... But... I think it'd be nice if you spent a little more time kissing me..." She giggled a little, "You taste nice, I'd like to get used to that, first."

"Heh heh... well..." He leaned in, "How about some afterta-..."

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!!"

"Ah, Hell!"

As Hiashi followed the boy over the fence, Hinata sighed again and strolled into the estate, wondering how crazy life was.

And how much in love she was with life, crazy or not.

So it made sense, she thought as she watched the suit-clad ninja leaping from roof to roof and away from her raging father, that the theatre and he went so well together.

They were both reflections of life.

* * *

_Phew! That was a big one! I'm off to sleep! _

_You know the drill. Review and I type faster. Send situations and pairings!_


	2. NaruHina: Soft Edges

_Well, my first reviewer (Who wins the net) asked for NaruHina, and thus shall he receive!_

_No kissin'. You want kissin' or mackin', you gotta gimme more reviews. I'll dedicate a lemon (And change the rating) To the writer of my 30th review!_

* * *

Naruto had a life that was defined by hardship, of pain and avarice, regret and frustration, rage and dejection. All hard edges and rough surfaces and jumps and kicks and spiraling balls of death. Demon Kitsune and a pair of fists attached to a pink mop of hair, an orange book and a scowling frown with a ducks-butt hairstyle.

Filled with snakes and toads and bees and bugs and slugs and turtles, completely topped with bulging veins, spinning wheels and sharp teeth, blood and bone and brain, sprayed over the lands he fought in…

Pineapples and Boars and Butterflies, Dogs and Caged birds and Green Beasts, Pandas and cherry blossom and vows of vengeance. Bugs, too, with Fans and puppets to follow. And sand, lots of sand. Ice, bone, beautiful things of nature turned into weapons dealing death. Peaceful things made evil, waters of life hefting blades bigger than he was.

Shark men, Dead men, bespectacled men of shadow. Old men, perverted men, dying men, grumpy women, smoking men, calm, quiet women who made him wonder if a mother was anything like her.

_Like the way she made him eat his vegetables…Or the fact that she was carrying child now…_

Naruto smiled and stretched as he walked down the street. It was true, he had found his life almost unbearable, not knowing peace in his soul, not believing he ever would. It wasn't something you expected for a demon vessel.

Just like the tale Jiraiya had sneered at in the bookstore, _Beauty and the Beast._

Who could ever learn to love a beast? This wasn't a fairytale. This was reality, where everything was harsh and unforgiving.

At least, until a month ago.

--

_It was a day like any other. The sun had been hiding behind a thick front of clouds for the past three days, and finally the rains had struck the town. It was on days like these that one Naruto Uzumaki wandered the town, when everyone shut themselves indoors and left the streets bare._

_Nobody would stare at the boy out in the rain. Naruto would simply sit on the bench in the crossroad circle-patch, watching the pattern of ripples as the rain struck the cobbles, trying to make up names for each._

"_Nomura, Kishimoto, Akamatsu, Kurampu, Tsurumaki, Nabeshin, Hirano…'_

_It was a fun game, from the days when he'd invent a family filled with brothers, sisters, cousins… It kept his mind off reality._

_He'd had enough of reality. He could remember only the hardness, the cruelty. He wanted out, to hell with dreams, to hell with hope, to hell with being noticed!!_

_Naruto stood in the rain, head bowed as the drops slid off his head, mingling with the ghosts of tears he had yet to shed. There was nothing left, the world had finally broken the loudmouthed ninja, tarnished the luster he once exuded._

_But he had company. Years spent with Jiraiya, learning to identify angry footsteps outside their inn door, keeping watch at night, dodging his relentless attacks had honed his senses._

_He could smell… Perfume. Violets. The faintest touch of scent carrying through the moist air and tickling his nose, tantalizing, full of a heady aroma that called to him, beckoned…_

"_KAI!!"_

_No, it wasn't a Genjutsu. This wasn't an assassination attempt, at least, not by smell. He'd known that fragrance from before, but where? Where was it coming from?_

_And then, he saw her; long, dark locks framing a gentle face that glistened from the raindrops sliding down her forehead. She was watching him again, and it never seemed to bother him before now. Was she really like the others? Waiting for him to slip up and make a fool of himself for some depraved joke? _

_Or was she keeping an eye on him for the ANBU? Currying favour to the higher forces by trailing the demon fox? Naruto truly hoped that wasn't the case, he really liked people like her, he'd told her that himself! What a betrayal, to know it was only an act._

_But what if it wasn't? Was it because she wanted to follow him… for something else? What? Hinata-chan wasn't selfish. He could see that every time he saw those pearly-lavender orbs, a softness that he'd wanted in his life…_

_At least… Maybe, if she hadn't changed, that didn't mean he had to, either, right? She could be his inspiration! Grinning, he made up his mind to gamble away his entire life on another person, just for a change. What was the worst that could happen?_

"_Hey! Hinata-chan!"_

_She jumped, and he laughed. Still the same old Hinata. That much hadn't changed, things were looking up!_

_He made his way towards her, watching with concern as she fidgeted, deciding whether to run or hide._

_Okay, THAT wasn't a good sign._

"_Hey, Hinata, I wanted to ask you something."_

_She turned to face him, a shy smile reaching her features as her face bloomed with crimson. HE chalked it down to sickness, and made up his mind to get her out of the cold when he could._

"_N-Naruto-kun?"_

_He could barely hear the whisper; he put it down to the loud rain the hammered the ledge of the building behind them. Hinata wasn't quiet with Kiba or Shino, so it was obviously the same with him, right?_

"_Okay, I've got two, no, three questions. Reckon you can help me out? The first one's pretty selfish, but don't let that fool you, I'm still the number one Knucklehead, right?" He grinned, making an effort to stay cheerful._

"_N-no, Naruto-kun."_

"_Huh?" Naruto's face fell, she didn't even want to answer a question from him!_

"_You're not an idiot, Naruto-kun. You're… amaz-… different." Hinata slipped her hand to her mouth and her cheeks burned further._

_He really DID need to get her out of the rain. And this didn't look good at all, she almost called him 'A mess', not good! Not good at all!_

"_Uh… wait, no, that wasn't one of my questions!" Naruto floundered, waving his hands. Hinata said nothing._

"_Okay, first question, have I changed any? Be honest, now."_

_He let Hinata look him over, let her look into his eyes. She didn't look like she was appraising him, simply comparing him against her memory._

_Of course, if he wasn't so inexperienced with women, he would've noticed how her gaze lingered on the set of his shoulders, the length of his stomach or the lines of his face. But then again, even with that experience, Naruto would have admittedly missed a lot about how Hinata looked at him._

"_I-I… You've grown, Naruto-kun. Your eyes… they're still bright, but sadder. Pained. Hurtful." Hinata struggled to find the right words, trying to find some way to lighten the blow on her idol. The rest of her brain was taking in everything she could at this new closeness, the rippling of muscle under revealingly soaked shirts and trousers, the whiskers she so dearly wished to caress…_

"_So, I'm just like Sasuke, is that it?" He replied, an unreadable expression on his face._

"_N-not at all, N-Naruto-kun." Hinata answered quickly, mortified that she had given offense._

"_Okaaay. Second question: How you changed? Did you beat that stupid 'RAWR-MAIN-BRANCH' cousin of yours yet?_

_Hinata couldn't resist a giggle at the absurdity of it all. "I h-hope I've changed, Naruto-kun. And no, I don't need to prove myself by the pain of others." Her eyes set in a determined line, opening them to the open street behind them. "I didn't want to become like the ones who harmed you when we were young, I didn't want to add to your sorrows."_

_They stood in silence; Naruto turned his head to the heavens, hoping to find comfort there. _

_She was watching him, even then? How long? Why?_

"_I… thank you, Hinata."_

_It was then his voice failed him, his past caught up with him and struck him without remorse. She could hear the silent sobs, tears Naruto had thought once-shed pouring again in a lonely, lifelong agony that quietly consumed him as his life progressed._

_What happened next shocked them both._

_Hinata opened her eyes, found herself holding her precious Naruto in the rain, feeling the heaving of his chest through the thin fabric of his orange shirt._

_Naruto felt something at his back, soft and warm and so many other things. A simple touch, a feeling of arms wrapping around his front. The smell of violets penetrated the mucus that threatened to leave his nose if he didn't snort it up. _

_He did, disguising the unsanitary action with the next bout of sobs that attacked his body. Now he could breathe, breathe that smell… That soft, subtle scent… Hinata's scent…_

_After the tears had stopped, they simply relaxed, still standing, on the corner of the crossroads. _

"_H-Hinata?"_

"_Mmmm?" She sighed, trying to ignore the frantic pounding of her heart, trying to focus on his words._

"_It okay if I ask you the last question?"_

"_Mmm." She mumbled, smiling slightly despite herself._

"_Why are you always watching me?"_

"_Ah.. W-we might need to sit down..." Hinata gestured to the bench, but the man who had slowly unwrapped himself from her arms and pulled her along to his apartment._

"_There's no way you're catching the flu on my watch."_

_Hinata only squeaked at the sudden contact of their hands, but she still felt dazed from the sudden turn of events and couldn't do anything but run with him._

_As they entered the apartment (Naruto made a mental not to thank Ayame for cleaning it up while he was away.) Naruto sat down on the couch, not caring about how the water on his shirt and trousers were soaking into the fabric._

_Hinata sat down beside him, not as close as he would have liked, but…_

_Wait, what did THAT mean?_

_Shaking his head Naruto turned towards the girl. The pretty girl. The one who smelled nice. And had cute eyes…_

_OH HELL. Was Hinata going to start punching him too? It was bad enough when Sakura did it. Just. Ignore. How. Cute. She's. Looking._

_Do. Not. Stare._

_No matter how big she's suddenly gotten in the… uh… 'Ichaicha-zones'._

_Or the fact that she's blushing, in your apartment, alone with you…_

_Not at all. Nope._

"_So, Naruto-kun…" Hinata whispered, and the boy began breaking into a cold sweat. Was it fair to her to act so familiar?_

"… _I… watched you because… You were… I'd always admired the way… You never stopped getting up… Or the way you didn't care about the way others felt when…"_

_Naruto listened openly, for the first time in his life, somebody was actually telling him that… That he was worthy of admiration. Even Iruka-sensei actually hadn't gone so far as to praise him for his efforts… Or had he? Naruto couldn't remember._

"… _And I guess you, uh, inspired me. You became my inspiration. And you were very… very cute… with the whiskers, I always thought… No! No! I'm sorry!" Hinata had let her mind wander too far with her ramblings, Naruto-kun wouldn't care about whether she thought he was cute, why would he?_

_As she stood up to leave with a hasty goodbye, Naruto held her down with a hand on her waist._

"_Don't go. I didn't catch the last bit."_

"_I-it was noth-"_

"_I want to hear it again."_

"_I don't want to…"_

"_You think I'm cute?" Naruto grinned, hardly believing his ears. This was a first! This made a lot more sense!_

"_N-no."_

"_Huh?"_

"_I think you're v-very… Handsome, Naruto-kun."_

"_Switch your Byakugan on and try again." The fox-boy joked, while inwardly cheering and waving flags._

'_I KNEW IT!! I knew I was sexy! I Believe it!'_

"_Don't be silly." Hinata scolded him, tapping him on the arm. Her face was radiating heat from the confession, but it didn't seem to be working like she'd imagined. No sudden confession of love, no romantic interlude in a forest glen… Just her, her crush and a comfortable couch._

_Needless to say, Hinata nearly fainted from the images. _

"_Um… hey, I gotta ask you something else."_

"_O-of course, go ahead."_

"_It's all Hypodermic, of course…"_

"_Hypothetical, Naruto-kun." She giggled. So child-like…_

"_Yeah, that. But, say, um… You don't know if you've changed, right? And the only thing that's changed about me is my looks, right?" Naruto looked a little down at this._

"_W-well, that's because I don't really know you all that well, Naruto-kun." Hinata breathed out._

"_Well, yeah, okay, but… um… Say, if I wanted to get us to know each other better, like, over a bowl of… shall we say, Ramen…Hypothetically…"_

_Hinata suppressed a laugh and took the initiative, trying to become bold enough to grab a future waving in front of her._

"_I don't have anything on at 7pm tomorrow, Naruto-kun…"_

"_I… what? Really? Well, uh, me either, so… um… Ichiraku?"_

"_Sounds like a dat-… plan, Naruto-kun." _

"_You mean, it's not going to be a date?" Naruto looked absolutely crestfallen._

"_Of course it won't be a date, Hypothetically, a-anyway…" Hinata trailed off, smiling when Naruto figured out the joke._

_So then, for the rest of the night, they talked. The rain didn't stop. They didn't notice. _

--

Naruto kept walking, exchanging a wave with Neji as he brazenly walked into the main branch's audience chamber, waiting for his date to finish whatever it took her so long to do.

And so he waited, keeping his seat while the elders that passed shot him disgusted looks.

He didn't really care. He'd received death threats from Hiashi (Who then received certain threats from the Godaime regarding his teenage years, the Byakugan, the local gymkhana and a pair of socks.) and from others, but nobody ever backed those up anymore.

They were the sharp edges of life, grown dull from overuse. He didn't mind them.

And he didn't mind the warm hands slipping in front of his eyes from behind his head, or the sweet scent of Violets that accompanied them. Nor the whisper of 'guess who?', it didn't matter. He laughed and covered those petite hands with his own, the hands the filled the hole in his heart.

He'd found the softness, the comfort he craved. Uzumaki Naruto couldn't be happier.

* * *

_D'awwwww. Ain't it cute? Anyway, you should know the drill be now! Review, Fiction-slaves! REVIEW!!_


	3. KibaHanabi: Sit, Stay

_Okie doke, first Naruto fic. Gimme a break, people!_

_Now, I'm a sucker for romance, so most of these will be romantic. Feel free to shoot me a pairing, yeah? I'm just giving this a try._

_For starters, I'm setting off a fairly odd pairing. HanaKiba. Heh, I kid! Hana__**bi**Kiba. Thought I was promoting Incest, eh? FOR SHAME._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Hanabi holds her head high. Every strike she makes at the air, every blur of blue chakra that follows the form of Juken, every time she gracefully spins through her Kaiten, she does it with her head high, defying everything that stands in her way.

Her eyes search for unseen enemies, her fists clench at taunts unsaid and unbidden. Her sister soothes her fears, the one time she lets them loose, but she does not asks for comfort.

The heiress gives her kind words and gentle tones, however much Hanabi does not ask. She has yet to know that her body pleads for compassion where her cold countenance and darkened glares do not.

She does not care. This is her way, her Nin-do. Hinata taught her of individuality, something almost bordering along sin in the confines of her traditionally minded clan. It is pride in herself, pride in her unbridled rage, pride in the hatred of the world in general that slowly burns in her gut; this pride keeps her head high even as her father ordains her sister to her place as heiress.

She does not cry at this. This is simply the way things are, and she doesn't care for the workings of destiny. She, unlike Neji, can see beyond her own fate. She catches glimpses of her sister, laughing with her husband as their child toddles towards the Ramen stand, blonde spiky hair waving with every cautious step.

She sees her father, walking slowly, carefully. Ancient wrinkles long thought set by perpetual frowning are slowly contorted through smiles. So much, in fact, that she barely recognizes the calm father as he breathes his last.

She doesn't cry then, either. Not out of sadness, anyway. Father was finally happy, wasn't that enough?

She watches as Neji undergoes the same transformation, his face still hard and cold, but his eyes begin glowing beyond white, a serenity brought about by the Rokudaime. She can almost hear the arguments, how even the Hokage could not intervene with the workings of a most prestigious clan, how it was not in his jurisdiction, how he was a fool to even suggest the ban over the caged-bird seal.

And then, a soft, silent voice echoes through the halls. "I am the Clan head, and I declare it thus: Your will be done, N-Naru-… Hokage-sama."

Hanabi remembered that little precognition for two reasons. For the first, she could feel the pride radiating off her future self that her sister had finally resolved matters through force. The Hyuuga responded to little else.

The second was the look on Cousin Neji's face. Absolutely priceless. It still made her giggle.

And then she remembers that giggling does not befit the acting-head of the Hyuuga. She continues to tell herself that it is all for the sake of the babe, but something in the back of her mind reminds her that _sometimes_ it is useful to have her privileges. For one, she could requisition the advice and company of her sister's old companions. Kiba, for instance, was always ready and willing to practice against the Juken

Hanabi didn't need telling that dog-fur had a habit of sticking to her formal gowns, but when the Inuzuka boy smiled at her and told her that his puppies liked the way she smelt, and when a side of her long believed buried awoke and planted images in her head…

… _Images consisting of_ _Smell and musk and what would he growl like and how would __**he**__ smell and how would __**he**__ like it if he was the one writhing in his bed at night, thinking and dreaming of someday, someday…_

It's at times like this that Hanabi wonders what it would be like to kiss a man. Then she sighs at gets back to perfect her half-hand Trigram Rotation.

Hinata simply watches, and remembers her first crush. At least she has some ammo for her sister this time.

Strangely enough, the next morning Kiba turns up to train, Akamaru bounding at his heels and earning shouts from a hungover Neji to 'Shut the damn mutt up!'. Little attention is paid; the prodigy had definitely bought it on himself with the white-chocolate bone he'd bought as a present for Hana. So what if he didn't know about Dogs and Chocolate? Murder was still murder.

Needless to say, his relationship flopped.

Hanabi is surprised, but not caught off her guard. It never fails that whenever her sister started grinning, odd things occurred. Such as the Rokudaime vanishing for a week without notice the year before, or the sudden appearance of a band of gold on Hinata's ring finger. How typical.

She wouldn't have told father… unless she didn't make bridesmaid. No Hyuuga _ever_ went as a flowergirl. Unacceptable.

However, her sister was right. All she had to do was wait for her frequent companion to bound towards her, riding his 'trusty steed' (In the minds of the council, it was little more than a furry, slobbery sled) until he reached her.

At least, that was the plan.

See, the herb garden contains herbs not simply for cooking but for purification, medicines… and _smell._

Akamaru sat on his haunches as his nose tweaked, launching the Inuzuka boy head first into the compost heap where he stuck, legs waving frantically (Fortunately, only grass clippings resided therein. Hanabi didn't want to train with somebody smelling like the back end of a pig.). After pulling out the protesting man and smirking as the dog he commanded ran back home, she sat back and breathed out, trying look as innocent as possible under the circumstances.

You see, Akamaru _hates_ catnip.

And the herb gardens are _never_ tended or used, save by Hinata and the occasional hobbyist.

Which left the grounds well cleaned, tidy, and _soft._ And Akamaru was gone, and Kiba was not. They were _alone._

Hanabi felt a few uncharacteristic tendrils of fear clench her chest, gaining a glimmer of understanding as to what she was trying to achieve. Seduction was not a trait she had paid much attention to at the academy, she was a master of interception and combat, not some cheap red-light whore.

_So stop acting like one._

She started, watching Kiba pick the steaming grass off his coat and twisting himself to see what he had missed. Looking at her own attire, she began to wonder what her thoughts were suggesting. What was wrong with the way she'd dressed?

Okay, _fine._ Maybe she'd started wearing tighter leggings; maybe she'd worn fishnets instead of shirts, trusting to the Chunin vest to prevent any unnecessary staring. Anko-sensei had taught her well, most definitely! It was a godsend her teacher had achieved true Jonin status when she did.

The point was, it didn't mean she was trying to seduce every man she came across!

_Just this one._

And why?!

_Because you watched your sister find happiness. You saw it in the face of your Father, your cousin, everyone dear to you._

Happiness meant nothing! She was a Kuniochi!

_You are a woman, first._

She was not!

_Scratch that. You're a girl. _

She groaned in frustration, rolling her eyes at Kiba when he inquired into it. His short bark of laughter lessened her mood a little, and she began calming.

"Better get started." He said, getting up and making to leave towards the dojo.

"No."

"Huh?"

"Sit."

Kiba snorted, bending down to go face to face with his Byakugan-replacement, his eyes scant inches from hers, not fazed in the least by the close proximity.

"You think I'm that much like a dog?" He growled playfully.

"No."

"You think you have so much control over me that I'll bow to your commands?"

"No."

"So what's with the 'Roll over, beg' tone?"

"Practicing."

"Huh? Practicing what?"

Hanabi smirked. The boy was far too easy to manipulate. Still, he was only a close combat specialist. When his face looked confused enough, she reached forward and pulled him by the collar of his jacket until their lips were touching. She whispered her final words before throwing herself into the kiss.

"How to make you stay."

--

Hanabi keeps her head high. It's easier for her to sneak into the nape of his neck when they take strolls in the streets.

She feels that she doesn't need to defy things so much. Although Akamaru definitely needed a stout whack on the nose with a piece of newspaper, she felt it was completely up to her whether to discipline or not.

She's glad of this.

She's glad of _him._

And she shows the world by holding her head high.

* * *

_Next one will be NaruHina, unless you gimme a suggestion that I like. If I like it, you'll be dedicated! And trust me, it'll have to be good, because NaruHina is so sweet it gives you cavities just by looking at it!_

_Oh, and I've never actually WATCHED Naruto, and I've only read a couple of chapters of the manga. Can you tell?_


	4. ChouYame: Going North

_Somebody came up with the clever idea of Chouji/Ayame._

_It's actually grown on me! Here it is!_

_Just a reminder: Ayame means 'Iris' in Japanese._

--

Ayame loved butterflies, from when they appeared on the Swan plants as tiny white eggs to their frenzied feeding, till their bodies engorged and contorted into green delicate chrysalises.

And then it only got better, when the pure orange-black wings erupted from under balconies, in public toilets and under the second Hokage's nose. A few hours, and the young winged insects would take flight north to begin the cycle anew. She'd always miss it, and feel another touch of wanting.

But for a few days each spring, when business at Ichirakus was slow, she'd sit back on the porch and watch the gentle flight of the Monarch butterflies.

--

Chouji loved iris', for all their reputation as water cleansing plants and chewing toys for babies. He'd grown up around them, picking them for Ino to practice her arrangements when he thought nobody was looking. She told him about the symbolism behind them, of changes in political power wrought by a subtle manipulation and good breeding.

Iris' were renowned for calming the spirit, aiding digestion and enhancing good health, certainly things one had to take into account when considering the amounts of food the Akimichi heir ate.

And he remembered their vivid colour, from whites and yellows to a startling purple, it was so easy to think of entire paddies swamped with the gentle plant.

And then he ceases in contemplation, and bites into another round of Barbeque Beef Jerky.

A flower's a flower, but food is _food._

--

Ayame decided that she liked the well-padded young man when he asked her how big the serving bowls were. She was beginning to think that no man, apart from Naruto, could understand the simple joy of eating till your stomach burst and calling the rest of the day off to digest. She'd sometimes shake her head at the rush of the current year compared to the last, and berate her father for teasing the child.

He was only twelve, after all. He'd grow out of it, she herself had been well-endowed with puppy fat at that age, and she reminded her father of this when the boy was safely out of earshot.

She turned back to the boy, and served him his Beef Ramen. The sheer joy on his face as he watched the meal steam was like a hot bath for her brain.

--

Chouji liked the girl behind the Ramen counter. Not like Ino, because it was obvious that there was little anyone could do to compare to _her_, but the lady was actually _nice_ to him. It was something he really couldn't figure out, what with Sakura and Ino and all the other girls laughing at him behind his back. So what if he was big boned? He could beat the crap out of anyone in pure strength, even that Uchiha pussy!

He mentally shoved it into the 'It's your money that's paying her when you buy the food' category, and crammed a few extra chips into his mouth to stave of the hot embarrassment of being the only ugly one in the class.

Hell, even that demon boy had an admirer!

--

Ayame couldn't help but look worried as the boy (Who'd now become a regular, she was even thinking about a special treat for his birthday, like she did Naruto) took small, half-steps towards the stool. His face was lined with a strange mix of emotions, none of them look particularly fun to have.

So she stops in her work, take his order, relays it to her father, and leans on the counter.

"Something the matter?"

And he looks up, and all she can see in his eyes is terrified self-doubt. She knew about the Chunin exams, heard rumours about some kind of attack, but…

"I killed a man today, because he called me fat."

And she wonders what happened to the child who used to laugh with her. His face is growing still colder under the Ninja life, and she's worried she'll lose him.

--

Chouji is suddenly filled with a deep concern for the civilians of the village, especially the girl who cooks (In his opinion) the best Ramen in the village. Had the invasion spread over the village, he had little doubt that those of the Sound wouldn't stoop to a little torture and mindless killing.

So he begins training, just a little more, because he doesn't think that he'd be of much use anyway. But he doesn't want to slow the team down. He doesn't want to let his friends or the Ramen girl down.

He starts eating at the stand more often, usually three times a week if he can afford it, because he starts to feel a fleeting sense of urgency, that he might die, or the village might come under attack.

And he'd lose his chance for peaceful memories, eating and laughing with his other friend, the Ramen girl.

--

Ayame is genuinely happy to see the boy bring his friends to eat with him, although she frowns as the blonde one rants about the fattening quality of egg noodles while the spiky-haired boy dozes off on the wooden counter. Chouji doesn't seem to mind (She heard the blonde one berate him for eating so much, so why didn't he tell her his name before?) as he gulped down more Udon eating Spiky's share when he didn't wake up.

So she just told them they were welcome, and to call her Ayame.

Chouji, on the other hand, introduced the other two, who where otherwise talking or sleeping, and said that they were going on a mission for a few weeks, so they needed something filling before they left.

They all left with dried cakes of emergency noodles, and Chouji couldn't help but smile as he remembered Ayame grinning and handing them 'Supplies for the road'.

--

For Chouji's birthday, Ayame makes him an extra large bowl of Pork Ramen.

Chouji asks if there was such a recipe as Barbeque flavoured broth.

Ayame made it for him the year after, and offered it on that day for the next three years until his tastes changed.

--

Chouji once told her of the time he transformed into a Butterfly boy when he had to beat the crap out of some crazy missing Nin. He remarks off-handedly that he can't do it so easily now, as most his excess body fat had been burned off a year ago. He doesn't like to boast about his muscle mass, but he suddenly gets the urge to pose a little.

He needs something to keep his mind off Asuma. And off Kurenai. And off everything. He just needs to forget he's a ninja for once in his life.

So when Ayame shows a little disbelief, he takes off his chest garb and turns around, ignoring the stares from the other patrons as he points out the four symmetrical points on his back where the chakra from his wings burned his flesh till the scars resembled spirals. He then puts his top back on and sighs.

"Sometimes, it's hard to accept sacrifices made, the friends who die, or the damage your body takes. But the best way to honour them, I've found, is to enjoy the simple things. Like your Ramen, your company, your kind words and gentle laugh."

And then he gives a half-embarrassed chuckle.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Ayame. Thanks."

He then gets up, and leaves, knowing the price of the food is on his tab.

He's not in the mood to talk; Asuma still lingers in his head.

--

Ayame searches her head to find when her little Chouji stopped being so… _little._

Suddenly, instead of a young boy she'd smile at and reward with extra food, there was a stalwart, jovial companion who suddenly, out of the blue, _became handsome._

Images of his naked chest and flank still play on in her brain, powerful arms and little fantasies of Butterfly men taking her north to dance in silky moonlight relentlessly force her to make little mistakes. Her father finally recognizes that she's having an off day after the fifth time that she mixes up orders, and sends her home.

"My customers think you've doped yourself on something!"

So she strolls over to the Akimichi residence, catching Chouji leaving by himself to go out the back to the paddies. When he notices her, he waves and tilts his head.

"Want to come with?"

She agrees, because neither of them seem to be in the mood to carry on like normal today.

--

Chouji shows her the iris caddy, soft purples dancing in the summer breeze. He tells her that Iris flowers are the one thing he loves more than anything in the world, even more than food.

Ayame tells him that Butterflies hold the most special place in her heart, after her friends and her village.

They look at each other for a moment, and laugh.

Neither wanted to guess at the symbolisms out loud, hidden in their names and their hearts.

--

One day, Ayame is puzzling over why the returned Uchiha (Wasn't he a traitor? Why is he still alive?) ordered a double serving of takeaway Ramen when Chouji walked in with a Butterfly on loan from Shino. It fluttered gently, desperately, against the wooden cage that contained it, stripped in purple and white.

"The Iris Butterfly, a symbol of good luck and new paths in one's life. And… uh…"

She watches him fidget for a minute, summoning the courage. She fights to keep the laughter from escaping her smile.

"… MumblemumblemumbleBlossomingAffectionMumblemumbleTraditionalgiftforcourting…"

Ayame let the warmth spread over her.

"For me, or for the food?"

Chouji shrugged, not looking at her face.

"Whatever you think is the right option."

"Seriously, Swan Boy, you need to be a little more confident with this." She sighed, taking the cage and cooing at the little insect within.

"Can you blame me? It's not like I do this a lot." He sounded a little surly, she smiled and the sulky look on his face softened. "Swan Boy?"

"Yeah, Monarchs eat the Swan plant, metamorphize, hatch, fly off, do other things." She smiled again, "You grow on people, you know? Like me. Otherwise I'd have gotten a little huffy when you asked me on a date." She felt a little doubt plague her centre. Weren't they too different? She was in her twenties, he'd only just reach sixteen…

"This isn't a date, Ayame. I'm asking permission to court you."

"So… what, dancing?"

Chouji sighed, mimicking Ayame's previous statement.

"Seriously, Ramen Girl, you need to be a little more up to date with Traditional methods. I'm an Akimichi, I can't just say 'you, me, movi'-…" He blinked.

"Wait, did you just say yes?"

"What, and leave little Kon-chan out in the cold if I said no?" Ayame motioned towards the bug, "Never."

"Oh."

And then he smiled.

--

Ten years later, if one had to ask Akimichi Ayame, mother of three, why she chose Chouji of all people to marry, she'd have simply laughed and shook her head.

Her friends said it was in part to the infamous size-expansion jutsu.

Her father said it was to make her old man proud by marrying into one of the oldest, most powerful clans in the village.

She always laughed, and said that she loved Chouji because in an increasing complex world, he was simple. Not stupid, not naïve, just Chouji; he was the spiritual force in her life, her source of Zen.

Besides, who else would she go Butterfly spotting with?

And when they assumed Chouji simply married her for her cooking...

He would just smile; kiss his wife on the forehead, and go to tend the iris caddy; trying not to boast about just how well the multi-size technique actually _worked._

* * *

_Next up will be a SasuSaku. Wondered why the Ramen was a double, eh?_

_Review, DAMMIT!_


	5. SasuSaku: Of Souls and Sake

_I'm not very good at doing SasuSaku, I've realised. Hope you like it anyway!_

* * *

If you asked Haruno Sakura what she wanted when she was a Genin, she would have told you that Uchiha Sasuke, some chocolate syrup and a pair of furry dice was right at the top of the list.

If you asked Sasuke the same thing, he'd tell you that he wanted to be anything but one Uchiha Sasuke.

That is, if you were lucky enough to get him to talk.

--

The reason Sakura said she hated Naruto was because she thought Sasuke did.

Coincidentally, Sasuke really didn't give a damn as to what she thought, although he did think her an idiot for at least making an enemy out of a potential meat-shield.

--

Sakura tried not to brag too much when she scaled the tree on their first C-rank mission. That would have upstaged the man of her dreams, and her fantasies never consisted of the Black-haired prodigy _ever_ losing, even to her.

Sasuke didn't care. Trees were trees, and he would learn it before the idiot did. What more could be done?

--

Sakura felt the warmth grow when she realized that it was _her_ who made the sacrifices for Sasuke in the forest of Death, destroying her hair and laying traps in abundance.

Sasuke only knew that something was holding back the pain. Later, he simply attributed it to the blood of his clan.

--

Now, things are different.

He doesn't mind when their son burns down his room. He makes up for it by asking his parents for a little brother at dinner. He looks over at his wife…

"Na, Sakura…?"

And she blushes, digging into her onigiri with an embarrassed smile. He can only grin because _OhYesOhYesSa-keIsGonnaGetHimSomeSweetSweetLovin'Tonight!_

_Damn,_ but it was fun to revive the clan!

--

Sakura sighs whenever she gets leave to go out on missions. Sasuke was permanently banned from leaving the village under pain of death when he returned, but the restrictions didn't apply to her; and her husband's job teaching at the academy wasn't nearly enough to support little Shoukin's scholarship.

She smiled as she staked out the camp of guerillas on the border of Waterfall country. She had a child, a man who loved her, a free life and a little danger thrown in, what more could she want?

She didn't care that she killed as many as she saved; now, it was all for the sake of her son.

And _nothing_ would impede her little boy.

--

Sasuke remembers the first time he let himself get drunk in company, celebrating his return with Naruto and the rest of the rookie nine. Lee wasn't due in for another week and Neji and Tenten were conspicuous only in their absence, but at least the rest of them were okay, right?

_Ooooooh, what is the molten liquor?!_

And about twenty minutes into the booze-fest, the singing started, with Kiba, Naruto and (He rubbed his eyes to be sure) Shino dancing on the tables in various states of Shit-face-ed-ness.

_What gets you drunker quicker?_

He couldn't help but feel that giving himself up was a bad idea. Somebody slipped in next to him, he didn't care, he just wanted those idiots to shut up.

_What comes in bottles or in cans?_

_BEER!!_

A clatter and a shrill buzzing indicated that either somebody had thrown something at Shino, or he'd just fallen off the table again.

_Can't get enough of it…_

"FINE!!"

Half the room turns to look at the Uchiha, startled at the outburst. The three troubladours kept singing obliviously.

_How we really love it!_

"I'll drink the damn cats-piss. Better be worth it." He grunted, reaching for the only unopened bottle (He suspected the others had been spiked) and chugging the contents, using all of his control to disregard the burning sensation at the back of his throat.

_Makes me think I'm a man!!_

"Kampai, dude." Iruka lifted his own bottle in a silent salute. Nobody saw him come in, but nobody saw fit to kick him out.

_I could kiss and hug it!_

"You know your liver's going to turn your life into hell from now on, right? Troublesome idiot…" Shikamaru groaned, his arm lazily hooked over Ino's shoulder.

_But I'd rather chug it!_

"I'm fine. Ow."

The once-traitor grabbed his throat, fighting back tears from the fumes.

"Urrrrrgh."

_I got my belly up to here!_

"Wow, you mean that was your first shot of gut-rot?"

He knew that voice, it was slightly huskier, slightly more sarcastic, and removed of any fangirl elements. It was also one that he hadn't heard in a very, very long time.

_I could not refuse a…_

"Sakura?"

_I could really use a…_

Sasuke turned towards her, trying not to let his face betray the guilt of being manipulated again and again… and for hurting her.

"I…"

_Beer, beer, Beeee-eeeer._

"I know." She finished, "And you've got some 'splaining to do, former crush."

--

They both woke up in the morning, in separate apartments, not remembering the no-holds-barred screaming contest that counted in their little world as a heart to heart.

But they both woke up relieved. And Sakura moaned when she remembered her medical exam was that afternoon, while Sasuke just spent the entire day nursing the hangover from hell.

"Fuck the Sharingan, this is real torture!"

Surprisingly, the vision of Sakura's modest dress didn't help matters much. A jacket, and a light blue skirt didn't make much of a problem, but if you removed the Jacket…

"I… Ow…"

… Like Sakura did, to free up her right hand and deliver would have been known as a 'Naru Punch' had this been a completely different fandom. However, the shirt underneath happened to prove that the dress was actually a… well… _dress. _With a _cut._ It so happened to prove the Sakura was a _woman_.

It also proved that Sakura now had _tits._

"… When'd she get those?"

--

Sakura fights back giggles when she discovers how far the tables have been turned. Her former crush may be a ninja, but he still left telltale traces that he'd been stalking her. Pieces of hair, fingerprints on the house opposite hers, the odd flare of miniscule killing intent whenever she went on a friend's date with Lee or Naruto. Little things, tiny things that she'd miss if she wasn't looking for them.

Wasn't _hoping_ to find them.

She sighs, wondering what had happened in his time with Team Hebi and Orochimaru that activated his hormones. She'd believed that he was planning to replicate by the weird process of splitting down the middle. That or he was into guys.

Like Neji, or Shikamaru, or even Shino, genius-types…

Getting all hot and bothered and making out over the… _Yeeeeeeeessss_…

Sakura decided that her fantasies were turning just a _little_ strange at that point, and got back to reading the medical report of one Uzumaki Naruto, _Cause of Nasal Congestion: Ramen Noodle Obstruction._

"How did that idiot think that eating noodles through his nose would bring in luck in the Jonin exams?!"

--

Ironically, the first time Sasuke asked Sakura out on a date was also the first time he considered drinking a bottle of Sake to loosen up his pride.

It was also the same day that Sakura decided that taking advantage of the tipsy Uchiha was a great way to get revenge.

She simply pulled him into her house when he turned up on her doorstep and force-fed him another bottle, exploiting his lightweight status to pull his clothes off and ravage him in the kitchen.

Sasuke, to his credit, still doesn't remember his virginity getting stolen.

To be fair, he was technically raped_._

_By a girl._

--

Nobody understood why Sakura forgave her husband for betraying the village. Sakura doesn't tell anyone that she never actually forgave him; all she did was give him one last chance.

All Sasuke knows is that a seal was placed on his groin; set to go off if he so much as _looks_ at another woman without Sakura's approval.

She's kind enough, though, to let him pretend that he wears the pants in the relationship.

Sasuke, on the other hand, is coming to terms with what real knee-knocking terror is all about. He doesn't think he's going to last ten years.

--

After Sakura gives birth to triplets, to the great joy of their first son and to the relief of her husband, she laughs and giggles as her husband tries without success to let his feelings show. She tells him that he can have one moment of weakness.

He just holds her hand and tells her that he didn't know what kept her by his side all the time.

She just smirks.

"Pain medication."

He wished he'd just kept his mouth shut, the way he always did.

--

Old age is beginning to claim them; their children have children, most endowed with the Sharingan. A select few have the pink hair of their mother, but the Patriarch of the clan isn't so trite as to bother over that. In fact, he's considering marrying off one of the girls over to the white-eyed, whisker-marked children of the Uzumaki Clan.

For greater ties, of course. Not because the sadist in him wants to see what the resultant looks the Pink-haired-White-eyed-Blond-Haired-Whisker-marked little bugger will get from her family, not at all.

Nope.

Not at all.

He grins, and laughs freely. His wife just tosses another tomato at him, and smiles with him.

--

They were buried side by side. Some of the Rookie Nine are already with them in the graveyard, their names etched on the Cenotaph.

They can be free, but when the wind is right, on the night of the new moon, sometimes you can hear the words _Do you forgive me?_ Whistling through the trees.

And on the full moon, the reply _I suppose I do, Sasuke-kun_ echoes over the gravestones.

That final note lets his soul rest in peace. That final confession comforts her spirit.

Bound by ties of the soul, the two shinobi go walking together to the realms of the dead.

* * *

_Heh heh, Sorry? I just wanted to do bits from their lives together. Sasuke is a little OOC, I know. _

_Reviews and suggestions are appreciated!_


	6. ShikaIno: Songs and Tragedy

_Loki09_ _asked for ShikaIno. Dispensing product in 3…2…1…_

_Lyrics minor rip of Fred Dagg's 'Gumboots'._

* * *

"Hey, Pineapple head!"

The Genius of Konoha, singlehanded slayer of Hidan, unofficial king of strategy and master of Shadows was being hailed. See him there, lying on his side, napping, arm tucked under his head to counter the hard wood of the bench. See him as he tumbles over in shock, landing in an ungraceful pile on the grass. See his teammates exchange a look before standing over him with arms crossed and looks expectant.

See him not give a damn. See him attempt to nap on his more natural surface, not bothering to exert more effort into rising. See blonde, female teammate tug at his ear until he grumbles and gets back onto the seat. See rotund, red-haired teammate try to conceal a grin as his best friend starts ranting about aforesaid 'Troublesome woman.'

See scorned woman growl with the fury that hell hath none of, as the saying goes. Observe as she glares at the Spiky-haired Genius with a gaze that could punch a hole through solid granite. Watch as she pulls back fist with intention of punching the Master of Shadows through aforesaid solid granite.

Notice the Genius break out in a cold sweat, holding his hands up to hold back the tide of angry womanhood. Perceive the words that form on his mouth, yet to be released as he tries to calm the anger.

Take in how he now has a slight bruise on his arm. At least it wasn't fatal. Small consolation.

"So anyway, I was thinking of taking up a training position in the Academy for a specialist kunoichi group andIrealisedthatTentenhadapointwiththewholebeproudofbeingagirlstuffImeanthat'swhat…"

Shikamaru sighed, he'd just need to take in whatever she said at the end, once she'd summarized the sentence in her own head.

"…AndsoSakurahadthisawesomeideawhichisfairenoughbecauseifthatforeheadofherswashollowwe'dallknowbynow…"

_Urgh, she still going on?_

"…Sohereitis! Tell me what you think!" Ino beamed.

"I think it's a great idea, we'll go shopping for it tomorrow." He remarked without enthusiasm.

A kick in his kidneys told him that was the wrong answer.

"Were you even _listening_?"

"…" Shikamaru gave her his _Do I even have to answer that?_ Look.

"Oh, for… You're so… so _troublesome!_"

"Ino, did you just steal his catchphrase?" Chouji gave her a beleaguered look from over his bag of chips. Shikamaru would have complained, but doubtless she'd forget about it and therefore he'd only be wasting his effort.

"Well, I can see why he says it so often; it's pretty good at summing things up…" Ino swayed on her feet, thinking into the deeper implications, "And it has a nice ring to it, easy to say, rolls off the tongue."

"He's not going to like that…"

"I'm right here." Shikamaru reminded them.

"Oh, so you are. Try opening your mouth a little more and do something other than taking up space, hmm?" Ino nagged, Shikamaru simply groaned and rolled his eyes.

"But seriously, Shika, I'm working on a little theme to sing as a memory exercise in my first class, think you could listen a little and give me an opinion?" She sat down next to him, tugging his arm, "Come ooooon, I worked really hard on this!"

"Will you leave me alone for the day if I say yes?"

"No."

"Good, it's a deal-… huh?" Shikamaru actually looked at his teammate, who was pouting.

"Don't tell me you forgot we're eating out today?"

"Uh… No?"

"Troublesome…"

"That's my line."

"Then stand up to me!" Ino growled, "Come on, I'm taking what's yours! Where's that territorial instinct!?"

"My what?"

Ino sighed, "Exactly."

Chouji gave a discrete cough. "The song, Ino? I got things to do."

"Right-o, kick it in the nuts, Chou..."

Chouji rolled his eyes, before setting on the beat for the 'educational' ditty.

'Ba da da Bom ba bom ba bom…'

"Ooooooh…."

Shikamaru winced as Ino began inhaling for the recital. He just prayed that his untimely death would be quick, she was a nightmare when she got drunk and hit the Karaoke machines on club nights. Just another reason for him to skimp on those euphemistically named 'team bonding exercises'.

"**Ninja, they are wonderful, Ninja, they are swell,  
'coz the Hokage's gotta be boss of more than a civie hell;  
When the Red dawn come to town and kick'em up a smell…  
… That'll always be a job, for ya Niiiiinja!**"

"**If it weren't for your Ninjas, where would ya be?  
You'd have a shuriken up your nose, or poison in your tea,  
'coz you would need a Jutsu from hell, or even Jinchūriki,  
To deal with all of them bloody Niiinjas!**"

'Ba da da da!'

Despite himself, Shikamaru found himself tapping his foot to the beat. The tune was catchy, he had to admit, even if Ino's vocal prowess left something to be desired. The blonde woman continued on, oblivious to the indirect phrase coming from her teammate.

"**Now there's Taijutsu and Genjutsu and Ninjutsu for some.  
But the best jutsu I know is the one that lets you steal their rum.  
And if you're really good, you can jam a kunai up their _placewhereithurts_.  
I'm never really bored, as a Niiiinja!**"

"**If it weren't for your Ninjas, where would ya be?  
You'd have a shuriken up your nose, or poison in your tea,  
'coz you would need a Jutsu from hell, or even Jinchūriki,  
To deal with all of them bloody Niiinjas!**"

'Doo do do do!'

The resident genius caught the bored look from his likewise pained friend, who shrugged and continued sounding the beat, looking a little woozy from mild oxygen deprivation. So Ino had rehearsed this? At least Chouji didn't seem to be concerned about his rapid breathing from sounding the backpulse.

"**Whenever I'm swapping minds and things, my protection is a must.  
There's no weakness that brings men down like the Sexy Sin of Lust.  
You can slip a bomb down their shirt while they're staring at your bust,  
and they have the gall to call themselves a Niiiinja!**"

"**If it weren't for your Ninjas, where would ya be?  
You'd have a shuriken up your nose, or poison in your tea,  
'coz you would need a Jutsu from hell, or even Jinchūriki,  
to deal with all of them bloody Niiinjas!**"

'Re re re re!'

Shikamaru didn't really know what to say about the first three verses, but if he did, it wouldn't have mattered. Talking involved moving one's lips, involved thinking about the subject…

_Was it really safe for his teammate to make her living toying with men? Playing with fire? If something went wrong…_

He shook his head to clear the images that followed. Song. Song. Wasn't he supposed to follow the song?

"**Now there's some Genin and some Chunin who've yet to make a hit.  
They're ruining the Ninja image more than just a bit.  
If I were to be frank, They're all simply _Notverygood_...  
So train hard or I'll kick you like a Niiiiinja**!"

"**If it weren't for your Ninjas, where would ya be?  
You'd have a shuriken up your nose, or poison in your tea,  
'coz you would need a Jutsu from hell, or even Jinchūriki,  
To deal with all of them bloody Niiiiiiiiiiinjaaaaaaaaaas!**"

Both males cringed at the long, very off-key note that finished the entire ballad, Ino looked flush with victory.

"What do you think?"

"It's catchy. I suggest Genjutsu to mask yourself into a male and make a demonstration of a good transformation technique." Shikamaru said, trying to avoid anything that sounded like _You sounded like a disappointed Donkey getting chainsawed in half._

_Wait, what's a chainsaw?_

"What's a what?" Chouji blinked. Shikamaru started, unaware that his thoughts had come out without his notice. Ino raised an eyebrow, placing her hands on her hips.

"Let me guess, thinking about somebody with a talent for… shall we say, _toys_?" She frowned, ignoring Chouji's frantic scrambling towards the exit. He'd seen the signs long enough to know what was coming, and even the bonds of friendship he shared with Konoha's genius wouldn't keep him there.

"Huh?"

"You know who I'm talking about." She folded her arms.

"… I do?"

"Come on, Shika, you think I haven't noticed you wandering around the town with the towns only other resident blonde?" She accused.

"… Naruto?" He guessed, he really had no idea what she was talking about.

"You idiot! Blonde! With an E! Girl! Blonde! Fans! Sand! Weasel summons!" Ino waved her hands in the air in exasperation, slumping onto the chair opposite.

"...Temari? Wait, where's this coming from? What's a chainsaw got to do with anything?" Shikamaru ventured, the confusion growing.

"You should know! It's a piece of interlocking silk cloths that you rub along a girl's… Hang on, that's a chainsilver… Whoops." Ino had the decency to blush a little from embarrassment, caught jumping the gun.

"And why'd you think Temari would… You know what, I don't wanna know. Too troublesome."

"Well, why not? I mean, you're both getting serious, right?" She questioned, her voice uncharacteristically small. Shikamaru grunted in irritation.

"For the last time, Ino, I'm not involved with her. It's my unofficial mission to keep tabs and swap info with Gaara's sister." He blinked as a new thought struck him, "And how'd _you_ know about that Chainsilver thing?"

"Yeah, you know nobody believes you when you say that, right?" Ino countered, ignoring the last question, grateful when Shikamaru didn't pursue it. "Look. If you are involved with her, can you at least keep her out of your head when you're with me and Chouji? We'd like to… you know… I don't want the team to go to bits, like Sakura's. I want us to have the most we can out of our time together."

She looked down at her knees, "The team means a lot to me, Shikamaru. Even more so now that Asuma's gone, I keep looking for red cloaks in the shadows, wondering when they'll hit next, who they'll hit next…"

"… And I'm a likely target, after Naruto and Tsunade-sama, for taking out one of their members, is that what you're worried about?" It didn't take a great mind to jump to that conclusion.

"Yeah. Can you blame me for wanting to spend more time with you? Knowing that you could be taken away from us at any minute? I just… I just don't want you to forget about me, that's all."

"Forget about you? Come on…" What he did next surprised them both, rising to his feet and patting her head, sitting down next to her. "… You've saved my life, I've saved yours. I'm lazy, not shallow." He tried for a smile, and ended up with a lazy smirk instead.

"Pffft. Whatever. What about you? What do you think about all this?" She pried.

"About what?"

"You know, could die at any minute, harm could come from anywhere… blah blah blah." She flapped her hand, smiling.

"Well, I guess if it happens, it happens. It's fa-" Shikamaru twitched as Ino slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Were you about to pull a Neji just then?" She giggled.

"Mm Whmm?"

"You know, 'Ah, curse my destiny! I'm out of moisturizer, it's fated to be!'… that kind of crap."

"Hm MmMmm Mm Mm Mmm Mm Mm, Mmm mm." Shikamaru mumbled through her hand.

"I know he doesn't do it so much now, but it's still good to poke fun at him. What is it with smart people being so- KYA!!" She screamed, pulling her now slightly-damp hand to her chest.

"Did you just _lick_ me?" She asked incredulously.

"Did you just slap a hand over my mouth?" He shot back.

"What's your tongue made out of, sandpaper?" She wiped her palm on her shorts, pulling a face.

"Whatever. You done? I wanna sleep." Shikamaru droned, looking extremely bored at the whole ordeal.

"Ew, hell yeah. That was totally… yuck! Only little kids do that!" Ino huffed, storming out of the courtyard. "See you tonight, if it's not too _troublesome._"

"Hmph." Shikamaru gave his opinion on the matter, and turned over to his side.

--

Outside the gates, Ino looked at her palm, still damp despite the rubbing. Without knowing what she was doing, she ran her tongue over the point where Shikamaru had licked her.

Blinking, she looked at her hand, eyes wide.

"What the _hell_ did I just do?"

She grabbed her sides, trying to quell the anger at her own stubborness.

"DAMN!!"

--

Dinner at the Mongolian Barbeque was uneventful, save for the occasional worried glances Chouji sent at his two teammates. Ino seemed more anxious to get herself roaringly drunk on cheap Shochu, while Shikamaru seemed more sour than usual.

Finally, he made to break the silence.

"So… uh…"

Well, scratch _that_ brilliant idea.

"How's Chouza, Chouji?" Shikamaru asked his friend, unusually taking the lead in the conversation.

"He's cool, he's cool. Your dad?"

"Fine."

The awkward silence stretched on, although the _dookdookdook_ over Ino draining a straight bottle of fifty percent proof alcohol, unaware of the strange glances the Spikey-haired Genius kept throwing her, Chouji gave him a _What to do?_ Look, before loudly announcing that he had to get up early the next day, and that he'd see them when he could.

As he left, he whispered to Shikamaru, and walked out the door, leaving a small pile of Ryo, as he promised to shout that round for the night.

_Talk to her, Shika._

"Why are you drinking so much, Ino?" He asked, earning him a glare laden with contempt.

"Why do you care?" She sulked, her body still stiff from some negative emotion, though the flop of her head showed that the alcohol was having some effect, at least.

"You're my teammate. Isn't that reason enough?"

"Oh, so it's okay to care when I'm getting drunk and could screw up the performance of the team, but not when I wanna show you something that makes me happy, or when I wanna date to the summer festival so I don't gotta be alone… Is that it?!" She spoke in a rising tone of voice that caused a few of the other patrons to turn.

Shikamaru wasn't too aware of what to do, he'd handled Ino as a sappy drunk, as an annoying drunk, but she seemed to actually be angry at him this time around.

"Look, you've had too much to drink. How about we go walk about, I'll… I'll even listen to you." He hazarded, hoping she would just get whatever was on her mind off and let it be.

She only snorted, before wobbling mildly to her feet and storming out the door.

"Somebody's in the doghouse tonight." A man with a ponytail mentioned to his date on the table opposite. A few laughs echoed his sentiments.

Sighing, and bracing for the worst, Shikamaru walked out.

--

"Look, we went walking to talk. Are you gonna talk?"

"Oh, so now you want me to talk? Whatever happened to 'Can't you shut up for one minute' or 'Troublesome' or whatever? I'll talk when I'm ready!" She loudly declaimed, her eyes beginning to dampen with emotion.

They continued walking through the local park, hopping (Or in Shikamaru's case, sauntering) over the occasional tamed stream that flowed past the ancient slabs that marked the boundaries of the water. Shikamaru looked up, trying to find something from the fact that the silence was beginning to gnaw at him from within.

_Why has she been acting so strange? It's not like I talked about Temari anyway. I can see why she's jealous, we've been spending hardly any time with each other, the three of us. If Temari and I were… well, we'd be spending even less time, and she's… scared?_

_I can see where she's coming from, but…_

He looked over at her brooding face, and turned back.

… _She's been getting angry. Looks like something's coming to the surface._

"Shikamaru."

"Huh?" He turned to look at her; she was sitting on a bench by the river. The half-moon shone faintly over the willow hanging overhead, and Shikamaru would have agreed that the setting was rather romantic, if he was the type who actually cared about such things.

"By me, please."

_Uh oh._

He did as he was told, reaching over the back of the bench to stretch as he breathed out, his stomach full from the meal.

"Look, I just… I wanted to tell you… something that I wanted to tell you a long time ago… Something that I thought would damage our friendship or our team if I said it too soon."

Shikamaru's eyes nearly boggled, was she actually going to tell him…

_Ino? Why? When? How?_

He turned to look at her, actually feeling his heart speed up. A confession? Was she getting herself drunk to work herself up to that? It all made sense!

"I-…Ino, I mean…" He stuttered, not sure what to do. Too fast! Too fast!

"Shikamaru…" She looked around, almost shy, then leaned forward into him, placing her mouth by his ear. He could feel the dry warmth of her breath softly tickle his skin, his face slowly burning from the close contact.

He closed his eyes, trying to imagine how he was going to answer.

_What could I say? 'I love you too'? I don't know how to answer that! I want a normal wife! Normal life! Two kids! Girl then boy! Where does Ino fit into the picture?_

_MovingGaspingCallingMyNameScreamingMoaningGroaningSmilingThrustingSayingMyNameGruntingMyNameInoInoInoYes..._

_Was it fair? What? What can I say? 'I don't know if I feel the same'?_

_Do I?_

_Do I love her?_

_Think logically, what would you do without Ino?_

…

_Life… would be boring. No spirit. Only pain. No drive, only slow clouds._

_If she died?_

_Cry. Hurt. Get over her? Like Asuma?_

_No, it wouldn't be like Asuma. She smiles differently, I pay attention to that, and she moves like she's dancing. She sings badly, but she doesn't care. She cares about me, though, she get jealous…_

_And, I guess… So do I._

_But do I love her?_

_I don't know._

"Shika-kun…"

"Y-…Yeah?" Shikamaru opened his eyes, and braced for the confession.

"You're an asshole."

--

The seconds stretched on.

"I'm a… what?"

"An Asshole. A jerk, prick, dickhead, wanker, buttmunch, drongo, nobb, a liberal son of a bitch, no offense to Kiba. Do you understand?" She spoke softly, her voice still airy and light.

"… Huh?" Shikamaru shook his head a little. This wasn't in the scenario!

"Yeah. Thought I was just gonna bitch all friggin' night, huh?"

"Not really."

_Well, maybe a little._

"Nah. I just wanted you to know that I hate the way you never pay attention to me."

"You wanted me to pay attention to you?"

"Well duh! Why'd you think I kept asking you what you thought, what you wanted, what your opinion was?" She moaned into his ear, making him uncomfortably aware of how tight his pants seemed to be getting.

"Well, I _am_ a genius." He admitted, feeling deflated despite himself. Whatever happened to his little dreams?

_To be fair, I suppose I gave up the dream of following a normal life when I became a ninja…_

"Yeah, right. A fucking genius, you are." Ino put her hands on her hips, leaning back and frowning at him.

"Look, Shikamaru, being a genius isn't everything. I'd still like you even if you were as dumb as… oh… Naruto! Even if you were so dumb you'd need to take your shoes off to count past ten, I'd still want your opinion." She sighed, "You're my friend, Shika."

"Just a friend, huh?"

…

…

…

"What?"

The silence stretched onward.

"Well, actually…" Ino bit at her lip in an irritated fashion. Shikamaru gulped and tried not to look too hopeful.

"… nah." She perked up, "I only fall for the tragic genius'. Sorry."

"Oh."

That was all he could say.

_Sasuke wins again, huh?_

"… but…"

His head shot up so quickly he kinked it. His grunt of pain stirred a series of laughs that echoed through the empty park.

"… You know, a genius who's grown up with a girl who might or might not have been having little crushes on him from time to time… You know, like when he comes up with a plan that wipes out an entire squad of Nin with only three people, or when he comes up with this awesome idea involving a light-bomb and a crushing palm technique…"

Ino took a deep breath. Shikamaru tried to fight the fluttering in his chest without success.

"… I reckon some people… When they see this guy, and they figure out that he's really hot when he decides to smile, or when he corners somebody into a trap… And he can't see that this girl's liked him for a while, even when he's freakin' crazy smart…"

Ino let her breath out.

"… Some might call that… tragic."

--

"I thought I was an asshole?"

"Meh, it's better than a nice guy. Can't stand clingy guys, they never give me any space."

Shikamaru sat down, feeling nothing.

_Shouldn't I feel something?_

"I… I don't know what to say."

"Hey, if you don't like it, tough. You're mine, now." Ino bared her teeth, grinning. "You've gotta pay me back for being an ass. That is, if you wanna…" She looked up at the sky, "… Or would you rather watch clouds?"

"… I don't know. I guess so…"

"Good. I need to do something while the booze burns off." She got up and lay down onto a patch of grass, patting the space beside her.

Shikamaru followed, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Knock if off, will ya! You're lucky I decided to get pissed and tell you this, so I expect some gratitude!" She smiled, "Or are you afraid I'm going to jump you?"

_KissingMeTouchingMeLickingBitingEnergyEnergyEnergy…_

"…"

He smiled, "A little." He said as he lay down beside her, jumping as she put her head on his chest and looked up at him.

"You didn't say no, you know. Now's the time to say it if you want to." She whispered, "No regrets, okay? We don't have to be more than friends, I don't want you to go away."

"Nah…"

They relaxed, and began cloud watching.

"… It takes too much effort to say no."

"What about Yes?"

"… I suppose I could make an exception…"

The hour passed in silence. Ino fell asleep, cuddling up against his side.

He smiled.

_Troublesome girl._

* * *

_A lot of people put this story on alert, but didn't leave reviews. You want me to update faster, you gotta tell me what you like, so I don't have to keep doubting that what I write and scrapping chapters._

_A second note: I'm doing the most common pairings first. After NejiTen, I'll go onto the less obvious ones, like SasuSaku and Tayu/Whoever. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!_

_Finally: You can send me prompts as well as pairing ideas. A set of words, a situation, anything. _


	7. KakaKure: Illusions of Healing

_Alright: First off..._

_LIME. If you aren't old enough, don't read. It's not explicit, but it's kinda edging over the 'T' rating here. If you want more details, review more. The 30th review thing still stands._

_Someone asked for KakaAnko or an Adult pairing. I'm saving Anko up for a different pairing, I'm afraid. After this, most likely another NaruHina Chapter, because people keep bugging me for it._

_Once again: If you ain't of maturity, bugger off._

* * *

Heat, overwhelming and flaring, coursing through skin and flesh as hands skimmed over forms, arms tangled and tongues twisted in a fierce battle for release. Curling, black hair mixed with silver, red eyes clashed with crimson, and the only piece of material on either entity was a flimsy rubber mask, hanging off the woman's toe.

His questing fingers finally made their move, sinking deeper into a well of moist heat that elected a shivering gasp from his partner, melding their bodies together and cloaking them under a veil of sweat and half-grime, blurring where one body ended in the writhing, shuddering mass, and where the other began.

"Ku… Kuren…" He gasped, only to have her snarl as he faltered in his ministrations; her eyes seemed to twist something deep within him as he attended to the task -as it were- at hand. He suddenly extracted his fingers and moved his hips, angling, finding her moving towards him as the world turned suddenly red.

"Don't talk." She grunted, arcing her back to allow him deeper access. Slowly and by degrees, her grunts grew frantic, more possessed, more desperate to the need that she was consumed by. She gripped his face as she began to close, her face suddenly begging for his sympathy.

"Please… let me… say his name…"

He winced, but he did not slow his pace.

"I don't care."

"I… Tha… Oh _God…_ _Asuma_!!" She screamed to the night as her body tensed around him, shuddering in a thousand different places.

He lets himself release not long after, feeling little more than a rush of exhilaration, all intimacy for him is ruined when he reminds himself of whose face she sees over his own.

As she relaxed, the silver-haired man held her close, trying to understand what she was going through, the pain that commanded her to force him into these little games. She was one of the few who saw him maskless, therefore one of the few he could trust.

He wonders, now, as she turns to him with guilt in her eyes, whispering apologies that nobody else needs to hear, whether that was a smart move.

--

She doesn't know why she turns to him. Maybe it's the fact that he smells like smoke, or the fact that he parallels with… _him…_ in the case of bad habits. The pillow books she found him reading were actually little more than a cover for the other thing he looked at, the scrapbook.

Pictures of his dead teammates, Obito grinning like an idiot, Rin giving disparaging looks to both the boys, the Yondaime smiling mysteriously as always. Other pictures, like Obito's birthday, or of the Cenotaph, or his own rookies, now scattered by the waters of fate.

She sees so many things wrong with the masked man, how he possesses the knowledge of over a thousand jutsu, but didn't come to the conclusion that choice led to hesitation.

To a ninja, hesitation led to an early death. The man was as lucky as his blonde once-a-pupil, and seemed to rely on his Sharingan more than completely necessary. Even with the Copying eye, her Genjutsu were still more than enough to deal with him, her Jubaku Jutsu specifically designed to counteract the peripherally-challenged Blood limit by attacking from the rear. Though it wasn't nearly good enough as she once believed, thanks to a certain Uchiha trapping her under her own illusion.

So she thinks him a fool who doesn't know when to stop searching and start thinking. An idiot who didn't know how to use every tool he had, from his range of techniques to his rather startling bishonen features hidden under the mask.

But she doesn't compare him to herself, she knows that pining after Asuma served no purpose but to frustrate those around her. It took four months after his death to understand that, but the price of that knowledge was truly terrible.

Her body, suffering under her grief and constant mental sickness, rejected the child growing in her womb. She woke up one morning to muscle spasms and blood and _painpainpain_, and when it was over, she found a _thing_ had slithered from between her legs and the afterbirth was drenching the sheets of her bed.

Everything was burned, the stillborn, the bed, her bedclothes… Everything. Gone.

So she turned to the only one who she could bully into submission, she needed some sort of outlet. She needed her target for the rage, the terrible injustice imposed on her.

He provided.

--

She took.

He didn't know why she kept turning to him, maybe it was because a long, long time ago, she held information that could lead to his untimely execution at the hands of the village, and that this is some sort of cruel irony.

And he smirks, because Tsunade couldn't really care less about some citizen in Rain finding herself with child, or that a Silver-haired Chunin turned up at the tavern a day later with his body smelling of soot and his Kunai coated with blood. Shame had to be cleansed.

She found out because she knew how to manipulate him into oozing out secrets, making him laugh, pretending to intoxicate herself and subtley blurring his vision between consciousness and dreaming. One thing would lead to another and they'd find themselves thrusting at each other in the shower or on the pillows and suddenly he'll confess to things she only suspected. She was a Kunoichi, specializing in the techniques of illusion.

He didn't laugh at the satire of fate, boasting to the world that the only person she could ever completely fool was herself.

She was wild, but controlled. Cultured, yet somehow vulgar (And the magazines he'd seen flung around her bedroom didn't help there). Prude, and promiscuous in a way that made him grit his teeth while he fought to control his impulses.

She… was a Living Paradox.

--

He… was Untruth made flesh.

Walking around without showing his face, pretending to be things he wasn't (He even pretended to be the other man who still lived only in her memory, but only because she told him to) and tormenting her with riddles in plain speech.

By and by, she let her old lover go. It wasn't fair to the others around her, even if nothing had to be. She was alive, given another chance by some unknown power, and could affect the world in any way she chose. She could learn, she could do, she could teach.

So when her only female pupil comes rushing to her apartment, scared and terrified and angry because after a year of happy, carefree dating; she and her whiskered boyfriend had their first big fight. She just needed somewhere to stay, she wouldn't trouble her, she just needed somewhere that didn't involve a smell of Ramen or dark glances from her family.

And so her teacher remembers the baby she lost, a girl not five months alive in her body, and orders her student to tell her everything.

She wants to know if this is anything like being a mother.

--

He wonders what a father would think as he sits and reads on the training ground, watching the blond-haired vessel pace the training ground frantically and vocalizing absurd ideas on how to apologize to a certain heiress.

Her chakra suddenly makes itself known, bursting into the training ground with the force of a nova gone domestic and stomping up to her boyfriend, grabbing by the collar and forcing her mouth onto his. Then, in a strict no-nonsense tone, lists off several items of interest that he really doesn't care about. He's not the one who's stalling to ask permission from the head of a clan whether or not he can date his daughter without risking eunuchhood, nor is he the one who feels that a Ramen stand isn't the right place to take his girlfriend. The point about overprotectiveness catches his ear, and he looks up early enough to catch her demonstrating her 'vunerability' in action, sending his former student sailing through the air to leave a body shaped impression in a large tree.

Finally, she yells at him to pick her up at Seven, because he _will_ take her out to Ichiraku's and he _won't_ fret about whether it's 'good enough for her'. She leaves, and the Demon vessel groans on the ground before picking himself up and leaving to make reservations.

Alone again, the Jonin continues reading.

"I see she's picked up on a little assertiveness training." He remarks to the tin air.

"A crash course, I'm afraid." It replies, and her ex-tutor steps out of the trees behind him, smiling.

"I see."

They don't say anything for a while.

"Something you want to say?"

"My apartment, I have something to tell you."

"Writing reports till ten."

"It will keep."

"Till then, Kurenai."

She vanishes in a puff of smoke. And he realizes what's been irritating him so far.

She never says his name. He doesn't know why that hurts so much.

--

She knows why he hurts, and it's not anything to do with love.

So when they dally again that night and bask in the aftermath, she almost laughs at the surprise on his face when he remembers that it wasn't the other man's name she called, but _his._

"Kurenai?"

"I know. It means what you want it to mean."

They pause, looking at each other, and he tilts his head.

"You are… healed?"

"Yes."

"I'm not him."

"I don't want you to be."

"I don't love you yet."

"I don't want you to."

"I don't know where this will take us, now."

"I don't care."

He kisses her, with the first feel of sincerity behind that simple motion, not that of a professional manner. This was _different._

And she moans his name, just to affirm that whatever happens, he doesn't have to compete with a ghost anymore.

"Kakashi…"

And he smiles as the gentle touch of his lips trails to her jaw, to her collarbone, over her breasts and her navel and other areas besides. Because they aren't lovers, they share a bond that transcends even that.

They're _Friends._

And while some might think that that isn't nearly as intense in emotion as the former, they're absolutely wrong. This was something neither could ever give up, would never give up. They weren't born to love, but they were born for each other.

--

They don't walk hand in hand. They don't kiss in public. They don't give anyone else any idea of what's going on.

They are Ninja.

Keeping secrets is their way.

* * *

_Review, Pig Slaves! I don't care if you don't wanna! I won't update till you dooooo!_


	8. NaruHina: Rain and Confessions

_I was listening to the Ending theme from Chobits, 'I hear you everywhere', and I thought, 'Damn! That's good!'. So this one's a semi-songfic. Enjoy and review!_

'_Why is it…_' Naruto pondered as he made his way towards the Hyuuga compound, '…_That every time we make a plan to go out, the sky pours down?_'

He knew he should have bought an umbrella, but he didn't possess one, never gotten around to buying one, and all the shops that dealt with such things were closed this late at night. The soulful half-moon's glow shone through the hard black of the clouds raining from above, but it provided nothing more than a depressing ambience.

The gate to the huge estate stood open, dripping giant watery tears down the boy's neck as he made his way through, uncaring. There was only one person he wanted to see, nothing else mattered; only she did. He would not fail her, even if the world was against them, he would not falter. The most precious of his precious people, the source of his heroism; his endurance against hardship and demonic taint.

'_And in I go, through the quiet halls that speak of hatred pointing in…'_

He sees her there on the platform, outlined by a lantern held by her cousin and almost radiating in a soft, purple kimono. Her father is not there, but Naruto knows that he is watching through the walls. He will never earn the trust of the man, he knows, but right now there are more pressing matters at hand.

"Hinata…" He whispers, anxious not to disturb the peace of the slumbering household, giving Neji a nod of thanks as he hooks the lantern to a hook overhead. She gives him a smile and holds out her own umbrella, careful not to slip her hairpieces out of place, decorated with cranes and herons that frolicked in her dark blue locks. The overhang of the veranda shades her from the worst of the weather, but her escort is drenched to the skin, and she wipes away the rain from his face as he draws near.

Neji grunts and shakes his head, amused immensely as he silently departs.

"Square bastard." Naruto huffs, earning him a giggle and a whispered reprimand as he moves closer to his girl and kisses her on the forehead.

"I missed you." He says, not mindful that he only saw her this morning. But it was true, there was so much he missed about her now, from her constant-but-less-so-now blushing to her small, pink lips and clear white eyes to the way she'd press herself against him in the quiet hours of the morning and hold him when she felt his chakra spike, calming him with her warmth, her presence.

"I know." She grins up at him, raising her eyebrows thrice, a secret gesture they'd invented to alert him that they were being watched. He beamed back and winked his right eye twice.

_Understood._

"Well, shall we?" He stuck his tongue out at an invisible spot on the wall where he imagined the Hyuugas to be observing from. His language had been improving a lot under the combined tutorage from both Gaara and Hinata, more experienced with the niceties of diplomacy than he (Although the Kazekage certainly had a different set of responses, from blank silence to outright threats. Hinata had told him that mentioning the possibilities of sand filling your lungs couldn't be used in every situation.).

"Yes." She said simply. She didn't feel that anything more was necessary. Besides, she wanted to save her voice for tonight. They had nothing special planned, just going out to spend some time together in one of the public parks nearby.

As they left, Naruto let loose a shiver, "Damn rain, my jumpsuits soaked!"

"Take it off then." Hinata breezed past him, trying to hold in the laughter that was bubbling inside her as she imagined his expression. She found herself counting for when he'd recover from his shock, rush up to the protection of the umbrella and berate her for thinking such things.

"Thought you'd never ask, Hina-chan…" He smirked, leaning on the wall and letting the sound of his top slowly unzipping carry over the rattling of the rain. He saw her steps falter, saw her shaking with what could possibly be cold, but could also be a sign of restraining the urge to switch on the Byakugan.

Finally, stalling and starting, she turned her head to look at his face.

"Please don't tease me like that, Naruto-kun."

He couldn't understand why she looked so disappointed, but something in the way her eyes curved hinted that it wasn't with him. Absentmindedly, he zipped himself up and retook his place at her side.

"What-…"

"There have been rumours lately… and… and they sicken me. The town talks of what kind of person would walk about with a monster, a demon boy…" Her face creased in anger, "… And if it was only me they talked about, I could handle it. They call me a Scarlet woman, a powerslave, a whore… But those mean nothing. It's the names they call your other friends that twist my heart. Tainted Traitor, Corrupted Prodigy, Broken Woman, Insane Green Beast, Fooled Lapdog… The stupidity of… of everything!"

She turned to him. "Naruto, what did this town do to deserve your loyalty, your love?"

He looked at the sky for a minute, not minding that the umbrella was in the way. He was simply trying to find the words.

"It just existed. My friends are here. My father was here, my family, my teachers, my rivals, my favourite places to sleep or train or eat… It's all here, in Konoha." He summed it up pretty nicely, he felt.

"What about you, Hinata? What do you like about Konoha?" He asked curiously as they rounded a corner.

"I like… the trees. And the quiet places where you can think and look around and be at peace… The roads, the paths, the secret routes to wander, the hidden stories, the unknown things that hide in forgotten rests… The mystery, I think, is what I love. And you, of course." She smiled, gripping to his arm, "That's something I especially love."

"Ah, come on, you'll turn me into a sap if you go on." He stuck out his tongue, cheeks beginning to redden. "So anyway, you said you had a surprise for me?"

"You can wait." She reached up and flicked his nose, giggling when he pouted. He shifted his arm so that they could entwine their hands together, strolling together in the silent raining caverns of the Hidden village.

They continued on their way; passing through empty streets until they reached a small square garden, surprisingly clean of the debris of human carelessness and boredom. Naruto blew off the seat they'd come across, and wrapped his arm around Hinata's waist as they sat down to watch the raindrops falling down around them, enjoying each other's warmth.

They sat that way for some time, not breaking for a kissing session or debate over which flavour of ramen was better like they usually did. A strange sense of amity with the world seemed to settle over them as the dark slowly wafted through the air, smelling of fallen leaves and woodsmoke, although Naruto was more intrigued in Hinata's occasional sighs that smelled of oranges and citrus.

"Ne, Hinata…"

"Happy birthday."

Naruto wondered if she'd hit her head, it wasn't October tenth!

"Early Birthday, I mean."

"Ah, gotcha. Thanks."

"…"

"… So what's the surprise?"

"Do you remember when you said I should try singing to make myself louder?"

He paused, he _had_ said that, a long time ago when they'd just started dating.

"Yeah, and?"

"I could already sing by then… so I started composing a song instead." She flushed, "I thought about what kept me going, what I thought about the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and I wanted to honour that. I wanted to tell the world how I felt about it, but I want you to hear it first… Because it's about you. It's for you. Only you, Naruto-kun. This… This is your song."

"…" Naruto's mouth was slightly open. Hinata looked up, kissed him lightly on the lips, and held his head close as she took a deep breath.

"I hear you everywhere…"

'Kurai yoru no yami no kaze no naka de…'

_In the dark wind of a murky night…_

'Shizuka ni sotto me o samasu toki...'

_When I awake quietly and softly…_

'Douka saisho ni utsuru sono sekai ga…'

_Please let the world that reflects first…_

'Mimi ni fureru sono koe ga…'

_Let the voice that touches my ears…_

'Kyou mo ano hito de aru you ni…'

_Be him for today, too…_

She moved back from him, still holding his hands and softly bobbing to the beat she'd built up in her song.

'Soko kara subete ga umarete…'

_Please let everything be born from there on…_

'Dare mo ga kurushimanai de sumu you ni…'

_And let no one live while suffering…_

She smiled, and pulled him closer till their lips touched, letting go of his hands to hold his cheeks and softly stroke them in time to the music.

'Ano hito to no machi ga suki…'

_I love the town that he is at…_

She wiped a few droplets that had fallen on his brow from his hair away.

'Ano hito to no ame ga suki…'

_I love the rain that he is in…_

'Ano hito to no oto ga suki…'

_I love the sound that he is with…_

"I hear you everywhere."

She tried not to cry when she saw his eyes begin to bead, his lips trembling, and willed herself to complete the song, for him, for _Naruto-kun…_

'Tsumetai asa hanareteitta toshite mo…'

_Even if we became separated in the cold morning…_

She simply held onto him, letting her heart open to his, before continuing with the rest her melody.

'Sora wa nan no ichibu nandarou…'

_I wonder what the sky is a part of…_

'Kitto chiisana hanabira mitai ni…'

_Surely, it's like a little flower petal…_

'Wazuka de kasuka de…'

_Just barely there and faint…_

'ki ni mo tomenai you na ooki na sora ga sono ue o iku …'

_The great sky that I can't even seem to keep my mind on goes beyond that …_

She looked at the raining heavens, and back at him, feeling his arms on her side.

'Hateshinai yozora… anna fuu ni naretara…'

_An endless night sky- Though I'd like it if I become like that…_

'Chikaku ni iraretara, subete o wake atte iketara ii no ni…

_If I can be close to you, if I can share everything with you…_

'Ano hito to no sora ga suki…'

_I love the sky that he is under…_

'Ano hito to no uta ga suki…'

_I love the song that he has…_

'Ano hito to no oto ga suki…'

_I love the sound that he is with…_

"I hear you everywhere…"

He leaned down, pressing his lips to her collarbone, before stopping and breathing against her chest, she could feel warm tears running down her skin, and she smiled despite herself.

'Kikoeteru yo, mou aenai to wakatte mo…'

_I'd hear you, even if I knew that I couldn't see you anymore…_

And she hopes it never comes to that. Not when Naruto is like this, so vulnerable, her charge, her love, her one smiling face in a sea of anger and terror. She would never let him go alone, not anymore.

He was her _precious one._

'Ano hito to no sora ga suki…'

_I love the sky that he is under…_

'Ano hito to no uta ga suki…'

_I love the song that he has…_

'Ano hito to no oto ga suki…'

_I love the sound that he is with…_

"I hear you everywhere…"

She gave him a little squeeze, he released another choked sob.

'Kikoeteru yo, mou aenai to wakatte mo…'

_I'd hear you, even if I knew that I couldn't see you anymore…_

The song ended, and she stroked his hair as his sobs slowed.

"Naruto-kun, you're not alone anymore, you have people who love you, who need you, who feel joy when they see you."

Naruto raised his red, puffy face to his girlfriend, unable to speak for a few seconds until he kissed her, sighing as she kissed back gently.

"I love you, don't leave, don't leave me, I love you I love you IloveyouIloveyouHinataHinataHinata…" he begged, his eyes burning with a blue flame as his face shivered.

She looked at him, surrounded by rain and falling leaves on a dark night of Autumn.

"I'd never leave you, I'd rather die." She breathed, holding him close.

The rest of the night consisted of words exchanged through warm touches and burning looks instead of words.

There were no actions that could describe how they felt, but they felt they could try anyway.

They were in love. There were no barriers left.

* * *

_Well, what next?_

* * *


	9. GaaIno: Clay, Sand, Water Pt1

_Hakumei asked for a Gaara fic, didn't care about the pairing. Alteris asked for a Gaara/Ino. Not sure if I did them justice, but REMEMBER: This a twoshot, I'm not sure when I'll write the next, seeing as I've got a NaruHina, then a Anko/? and a Temari/? up next, sooo..._

* * *

She gets told of a mission, far to the lands of the west, hidden in the dunes, covered by desert grass. She accepts, for little reason other than the wanderlust that builds every waiting day, almost-there wisps of exotic smells brush past her nose; strong, foreign fingers tangle themselves in her blonde hair, and she loses herself to fantasy.

It's become a recurring theme of late.

--

He is told of a rose of the leaf, a contradiction in itself, sent to guard him in his sporadic sleeping patterns. He assures all that his lack of sleep is not a matter to be concerned about, or at least he would if his eyes didn't still hint at a horrible death every time they gazed through a person's heart. Dark skin under his green-hued orbs tells the tale to those who know it, but he doesn't care.

All he knows is that power is its own price, and that assassins have already been displaced with a mark on his head.

And so the rose of the leaf comes to watch him in his dreams.

--

When she sees him again, all she can think of is how tired he looks, and how to protect this life against the forces rallied against him. He reminds her that he is most capable of defending himself, even with the beast under his skin removed.

Then she reminds him what she's here for, that only _one_ assassin has been dispatched, which he knows.

What he does not know is that this assassin is one of the Hidden village of the Moon, cradled in timeless, brutal treetops. A one man army, conscripted to the destruction of the Kazekage by an unknown factor.

And so he asks why she has to be there. She informs him that as a Jounin specializing in Genjutsu, and the man was an old informant of the Godaime with a few ideas regarding mass-mind illusions, she was the ideal pick.

She smiles when he does not understand the process, and tells him that all will reveal itself in time. But for now, she ventured into the village of sand, to search for exotic smells and oiled hands.

--

He does a little reading, and slowly comes to understand why only one man was paid to go after his life. The people of the Moon charged enough to repave a quarter of the road from here to Konoha, but their success was guaranteed.

He opened the letter that the Rose had brought from the Hokage, apparently the man contacted was an outcast from that village, hence the lower, more affordable rate. The price he had been offered still limited the selection of patrons to about fifty different wealthy families. That was still too much to go for specific information among them, so he continued with the report.

_Concerning the current atmosphere, I have currently devised a method of isolating the threat, improving your own status, and the status of the would-be assassin. After much talk, Kojira and I-_

He looked down to the notes; apparently Kojira was the name of the Moon man.

**-That's 'Kojira and me****', Hokage-sama-**

His shoulders slumped; the Hokage's wife was a stickler for accuracy…

_-Yeah. In regards to that, we're thinking you could stage a fight with him, win, and have Ino use Genjutsu to… shall we say… spice things up a little? We've briefed both Kojira and Ino on how to make the Jutsu you'll both use look like you're really serious on killing each other, and how to make it look flashy._

_People like flashy, you know. Especially the civilians._

_Turns out, Kojira knows a move that can work a little like your Sabaku: Taisuun technique, I think you could finish it on that note, 'ttebayo?_

The next ten centimetres of scroll were filled with crude diagrams and random drawings of explosions and stick figurines of cheering people and (Here he had to look closely indeed) a poor rendition of a Triumphant Whiskered Demon vessel surrounded by scantily clad, firm-bosomed women.

He skipped those as soon as he laid eyes on them.

_Anyway, Ino knows more about this then I do, just don't kill the guy, once he reports his failure he'll have a shot at identifying his patron._

_Until our paths cross once more,_

_Uzumaki, Rokudaime._

The Kazekage scratched his short, fuzzy red hair. He truthfully didn't have a clue as to what was going on. So he leaned forward and tried to glean more information from Naruto's jumbled scrawls that counted in his own little world for handwriting.

--

When she returned from her ultimately fruitless wanderings, she found him sleeping on his desk, little jumps and thin snores indicating that his slumber was either infected by dreams, or lighter than an angel's breath.

She sighs in frustration, both because of her fruitless efforts to find a decent man to cuddle in the odd hours of the morning, but also because nothing seemed to fit together with her mental image of Suna in all its shapes and forms. No camels, no massive hawking of dates, figs, couscous… Everything was done on a day to day basis.

That was one fantasy that didn't have anything going for it…

Her charge snorted, mumbled something about riding a cinderblock down the stairs. She blinked, and decided to a least give the man the benefit of the doubt.

A few minutes later, he had a pillow under his head and a blue blanket draped over his shoulders to shake off the deserts sombre chill.

She tried not to laugh at the sight of the once-container of Shukaku slumbering and snorting with under a blanket speckled with yellow duckies.

She failed miserably.

--

He woke up to the sound of saws slowly grinding through wood. He resolved to make it undisputable law that his younger brother would no longer be allowed to do carpentry in the mornings. Finding cornflakes in your breakfast could ruin your whole day, but sawdust in the mix was like adding something horrible to… something even more horrible.

Maybe the ducks could tell him…

_Ducks?_

He flung off the blanket like it was infested with fleas and shuddered, mentally slapping himself for falling asleep. Even with the Shukaku gone, old habits died hard.

The sawing faltered and he saw that in the visitors chair lay the rose of Konoha, snoring outrageously. He shuffled the paperwork still lying on his desk, and went down below to grab some breakfast.

--

She scolded him for not making up a meal for her as well, though she saw his point in his hesitance to whip up a double batch of salted tongue. She can't help but feel something was missing in this man, but she chalked it down to being an ex-demon carrier and dug into her omelette with gusto, trying to imagine a bird big enough to lay an egg big enough to feed three people.

She tried to get the Kazekage to open up, but nothing seemed to provoke anything more than a blunt, neutral response to her questions. She tried to open him up, but he glared at her and said that he would be in his office for most of the day, and to try not to destroy the building while he was devising the new border treatise with Stone.

So she went out again, to trek and search in the sunlight of the sandy realm, hoping to find a fantasy.

--

He remembers that there is a supposed assassin on his mark, but he has a hunch that Naruto really did know what he was talking about, even if his methods of conveying those ideas were in dire need of improvement. He needed information, but he couldn't truly leave his desk without a reason.

Looking out the window, he stares into the brown-gray colours of the country that people tell him he should love. He supposes he may, come some time far later in the future, but for now…

He grunts as he looks at his paperwork. He needed an excuse to drive away the boredom and get the hell out of the office.

"I thought you'd be out escorting the Ino girl? Get away from this desk for a minute?" His brother shoots at him as he drops his mission report in front of the desk.

The Kazekage looks up to him, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

"You're a genius."

His brown-haired brother just looks at him strangely.

"Took you long enough."

--

She finds herself making her own pottery in a quaint little stall skirting the wall of Suna. Temari was kind enough to show her around the hidden village, but this caught her eye. Satisfied that she knew her way back, her pigtailed guide had dashed into the high noon of the softly baking city.

"I thought you liked flowers?"

She turns, and _he_ is there, standing silhouetted against the sun hanging over the mud-brick stall's door.

"I _do_ have other interests, Gaara." She replies coldly, not letting her concentration pause on the spinning disk that was busy molding the wet clay against her hands.

"I see."

She quickly folded the edge of the clay against itself, creating an overhang against the main body of the vase that was slowly emerging from the sticky mess. Tall, thin, curving strangely under her touch until it became a message. A message over the things that were strangely deformed pleasing the eye, the odd-looking serving a great and final purpose.

"Why don't you give it a try?" She asks, after handing the creation to the stall's owner to be baked in the kiln, reminding herself to pick it up later as she picked the Ryo out of the pocket on her Chunin jacket.

"I don't like Clay." He informs her. "It sounds… odd."

"What, clay?"

"Yes, it only talks of moving, of firming up." He spoke without emotion. "I don't know what Clay likes, so I don't like clay."

"You don't like things you don't know about?"

"We are ninja, the unknown kills us." He pointed out, the sand plying around his wrist. "Come, I want to show you something."

She gave him a suspicious look, but followed.

--

"There."

She doesn't gasp, because she really doesn't see what's so spectacular about the massive expanse of dunes and orange rock outside the city walls, only that the sand stung and the sun was beating down and she could already feel her skin radiating from minor sunburn.

"I don't see it."

"Then don't."

Her body slumps as she contemplates what conspired to force the Kazekage to go insane and bring her here.

"Listen, instead."

She doesn't close her eyes, instead, she strains her senses to find what he's talking about.

And by degrees…

"It sounds… like water." She tells him, puzzled. He nods and looks over the grainy plains of his country.

"Yes. Sand sings about water, how it wants to be like it, how it wants to copy it, how it wants to become majestic and give life like water. But it cannot be like water, it can only be sand."

Ino gives him a look, "That's pretty sa-… Wait, are you saying that sand _talks?_"

"Why shouldn't it?"

"Because... lets see.. it isn't _alive_?"

"It isn't? It moves, flows, it can be commanded, you can add the right ingredient and transform it, it can sing, it can kill, it can have a soul." He gives her a piercing stare, "Just because it doesn't seem normal, does not mean it has no right to be alive."

"But is it alive?"

"What do you define as alive?"

"It eats, breathes, sleeps, makes more of itself…" She shrugged, "I don't really think about it."

"Sand swallows time, breathes with the wind, sleeps with the moon and breaks itself in two." He says with a hint of smugness in his tone.

She pouts.

"For a Kage, you sure can be a jerk, Gaara."

--

He falls asleep at the desk again, and she sighs and this time tries to pick him up.

Her screams wake him, alerting him to the fact that his sand is currently choking her life away. At his command, the murderous crystals stop.

As she rubs her throat and applies chakra to stem the bruising, she tells him that he definitely needs to get a bed installed in his office. He chuckles to himself at the notion.

His mirth, she finds, is not at all creepy or insane like she remembered. Now, it's a small series of quiet laughter, almost endearing.

--

He finds himself dragged out the office, come lunchtime, to a Bak'shesh vendor about a kilometre form the Kage building. He doesn't question what she's trying to do, but suddenly a piece of juicy lamb skewered on a long needle and a large, flat loaf smelling of goat cheese and garlic are gracing the table under the vine-draped ceiling.

As he eats, he can't help but notice that she's unusually jokey today, telling him anecdotes from back home, from the results of her teammate cooking (Too much baking powder and a burst cake apparently set the oven on fire) to one of the shyer kunoichi taking her friends' advice too seriously and belting her admired person over the head with a mace (Not being able to find a suitable club) and dragging him back to her room.

Some amused him, and he smiled. Some did not, and he did nothing.

So when he asks why she was being strangely attentive, she tells him that she wants to hear him laugh.

The concept is absurd enough for him to chortle a little, and she smiles happily.

That night, Gaara slept in a bed, wondering why her smile wouldn't leave him.

--

When she awakes, the kitchen is on fire. The Kazekage, in an extremely rare moment of spontaneity, tried to cook something other than salted tongues for breakfast. By the time she got down there, servants were already cleaning up the mess, and Gaara was nowhere in sight.

She looks at the mess in the pan, and deduces that he was cooking an omelette.

What draws her attention was that is was a double serving.

--

It's been a month of escorting, paperwork, talking and watching the sand, and Gaara is beginning to wonder whether the threats perceived against him were real when a message comes in from the Hokage.

_We found the patron, Kojira remembered the house…_

As Gaara read through the report entailing the man's identity and his summary execution by the assassin he'd ironically bought, he feels an odd well forming in the pit of his stomach. As he finishes the note, he finds out why.

… _Inform Yamanaka Ino that she has three days to pack and depart, her mission is over._

_Hope this finds you in good health._

_Uzumaki, Rokudaime._

Gaara thinks long and hard, and writes six simple words onto a scroll, seals the letter with wax, and leaves it in his out-tray.

Ino pops her head in as he starts humming to himself, a curious expression on her face.

"Something happen?"

"You're now officially my secretary, congratulations. I've needed one for a while, now."

"Say what?!"

"I'm sorry; I think I heard something crazy, what was that?" He replies, in a slightly crazed tone. Ino got the message.

"Uh… that's… great?" She scrunched up her face

"Excellent."

She leaves the room, dazed. Gaara smiles with the look of a predator as he catches the 'I'm getting to the bottom of this, mister' look that she throws back over her shoulder before the door closes, before picking a file out of his folder.

Time to learn more about the contradictionary rose of the leaf… And try to fill in the paperwork for a new secretary.

--

Ino punches the air as she walks away. Sure, she didn't get a fantasy, but at least she didn't have to go home and explain to everyone that she'd got the Kazekage of the sand wrapped around her little finger.

Besides, covering his body with the ducky blanket never got old, especially when his subjects came in for their early-morning appointments and he didn't realise he was still wearing it.

Mischief, it seems, was the spice that made her spirit soar.

--

_Fuck no._

_She Stays._

_Gaara, Kazekage._

Naruto blinks, and looks up at the ceiling.

"Hinata, do we have any migraine ointment left?"

* * *

_Right! You know the drill! Review, or it'll take longer!_

* * *


	10. TemaLee: Jaded Summertime

_As promised, here's a Lee chapter for those who wanted one! Mostly Lee-centric, but Temari gets a little characterization._

* * *

Sip, pause, sip, cast eyes around to search for a particular shock of black hair, sip, put cup down. Pick cup up, look around for slouching guide, fail to find guide, put cup down. Pick cup up, remembering to sip this time, wince at bitter taste, wonder how the hell Leaf-Nin managed to drink this crap, even with all the milk.

Guess time of day from angle of sun, around 10:30am at best estimate, grumble at the chill setting in from poor circulation, start thumping foot to improve aforementioned blood flow. Curse lazy genius for standing her up.

Look back at cup, beginning to slosh contained liquid over the sides at vibrations from leg-thumping, put cup down. Wish for some kind of sweeter drink, like watermelon nectar. Curse the existence of all coffee bars to hell, resolve to persuade Kazekage to ban such beverages sold therein, else baby-pictures of same brother will 'mysteriously' become public property, even the ones of him potty training.

Grin at the power her little-used evil side had over the world, sip from cup, ignore disgusting aftertaste, compare the milky depths of her Flat White to that of herself. Slightly bitter, filled with a mother's goodness (Die a little inside at that revelation), strangely refreshing, able to give a little boost of energy without smashing you through a wall…

Glare at young man in gross spandex who sits at her table, even though her mouth clearly stated not a millisecond before that it was taken.

"Shikamaru-kun could not make it. My name is Rock Lee, and I will be your guide today."

Resolve to discover if Gods exist, make plans to kill each and every one of them if they do for this.

--

"Would you _shut up?!_"

"But Temari-san…"

"I don't care! I don't care! If you so much as utter one more syllable, I swear to every Kami, major and minor, that I will harm you!"

"Bu-"

"Ah?!"

"Yo-"

"Ah!"

"Ple-"

"Ah!"

"Te-"

"No! No more!"

Temari sagged against the wall on one of the lesser streets on Konoha, exasperated at the constant chatter her new guide seemed to spout at any given thing, from the Monument to a beetle crawling along a roof. Even the Naruto brat didn't go off this much… At least, not on things to do with becoming Hokage, his teammates, food, new jutsu, 'epic wins', training, his old teacher, his friends… come to think of it, this Lee seemed just as talkative as the idiot boy.

"Just… don't talk. If I ask you a question, then you can answer." She conceded, noting that the young man with extremely questionable dress sense looked like he was about to burst from the strain of keeping quiet.

"Okay, fine! Sheesh, why'd you have to talk so much, anyway? I don't want to know all this stuff!" She sighed.

"Because you are like me." Was all he said, smiling and giving her a thumbs up.

She blinked, and then glared at him with all the mental force she could muster.

"We. Are. Nothing. Alike."

He didn't seem fazed. "So you say."

Giving up the conversation as a stupid waste of time, she pointed to a building on the side of the road that seemed to be falling to pieces in order to get the talking away from the pointless.

"Why's that in such bad shape?"

Lee looked at it, shrugged, and continued walking.

"Hokage-sama is saving its restoration for a punishment, supposedly in case a troublemaker feels the need to start a life of vandalism." He said easily, pointing out small metal brackets set in the framework that held it together, "She claimed that if Uzumaki Naruto decided to deface her head on the Monument, he would find himself fixing it up without the aid of Shadow-clones."

Temari gave a whistle, "Shrewd lady, this Tsunade. Not only does she save money on a useless piece of crap, but the entire village gets a little warning to toe the lin-… Wait, what did Naruto do to the monument?"

"You do not know?" Lee turned to face her midstep, easily avoiding a man who was about to cross his path.

"I've heard… bits and pieces, and Shikamaru thinks it doesn't matter enough to warrant telling me." She huffed, still peeved at the green-clad boy for showing up in place of the slouchy, somehow-hunky Chunin.

"Oh, I see. It was quite a feat; in one day, Naruto-kun managed to graffiti the entire mountainside with derogatory remarks like 'Ahokage' and the like." Lee continued talking, occasionally swerving left or right to avoid colliding with civilians, though his face wasn't in the right position to watch where he was going.

"Aho… Kage? Oh. I get it." Temari nodded her head to the head to the side a couple of times in the sign of reluctant appreciation. "Not a bad pun, when you think about it."

"Bad or not, one should not trifle with the dead. Naruto-kun was made to clean up the entire face of the cliff."

"By himself?" Temari looked at the giant shelf of rock, "Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"He was hauled around in a basket by Iruka-sensei, and the ropes were thick."

"Ah."

Temari and Lee kept walking around the town, not saying any more, letting the guest from Suna familiarize herself. The midday bell tolled, and Lee bid her depart, as Gai and Tenten were going to be training him in advanced Weaponcraft, and he needed to warm up.

"Oh? At lunch? That's quite… harsh." Temari commented, a creature of habit herself.

"You misunderstand, I am afraid. The training begins at three." Lee began, setting off, "And it will continue until ten, so I must warm up thoroughly. Until tomorrow, Temari-san!"

"Uh… thanks, Lee. Good luck with your… warm up?" She told him as he walked away, slightly puzzled. "You're young, you can do it? All that jazz?"

She really didn't know how to give compliments all that well. The best she could do was repeat the same words Baki had told her before the Chunin exams.

"YOSH!! Finally, somebody else understands the power of youth! We truly are carved from the same tree, Temari-san!" Lee spun around, giving her a smile that nearly blinded her before jumping onto the roof of the Cobbler shop behind him, speeding away.

"For the last time, we're nothing alike!" She yelled in the direction he had taken.

"So you say!" Was the distorted reply that came echoing from on high, and she groaned with annoyance.

--

The next day, they met at the same time, the same place, while Temari drank the same coffee as she had from the day before. Lee showed up with bruises on his face, and a long, jagged cut running down his right arm, the spandex only holding together on that limb through some amateur darning.

"What in Yami's six balls happened to you, Lee?!"

"This? Oh, Tenten-san became enraged when I mentioned that the small marks on her neck and collarbone looked too small to be from a series of doorknobs like she claimed, and then I asked Gai-sensei what his opinion was on the matter. He said that Neji and Tenten had finally consummated their fertile springtime of youth, and were transcending to the hallowed plains of summertime together."

Temari blinked, and put her head in her hands.

"I did not understand, I asked if that the Summertime was some kind of enhanced physical exertion program from the way that Tenten started trembling as if from some kind of new energy, and Gai only told me that, in a way, it was."

The Sand Ninja's shoulders started to shake, as if she were trying to conceal heavy laughter.

"And then I asked Tenten if she would not mind showing me how Neji and she managed to achieve this, and perhaps if I could bring along a camera to capture any points of interest for further study, when she suddenly attacked me with incredible vigour."

Lee's brow crinkled with thought, "I cannot understand why she took such offense at my line of questioning. She seemed especially vexed when I mentioned that if it took two people to move onward to the summertime, perhaps she could assist me in my own transcendence, hopefully with Neji watching, making comments, and even joining in if he felt I was faltering…"

Temari's head hit the little café table, her snorts of mirth finally coming out unhindered.

"… But the thing that seemed to infuriate Tenten the most was when I voiced my concern as to whether Neji was properly equipped for the task at hand, and whether or not she had set up a punishment system-… Temari-san, are you well?" Lee gave her a blank look as her frantic amusement began attracting attention.

"Y-…You… Ahahaha!! I swear, you can't… PffftHaha!! …You can't make shit up like this on purpose, no way!! Hahaha! Oh god, oh god…" She raised her head from the little table and gave his cheek a pinch.

"You're so clueless, Lee. They were bonking each other!"

"Bonking? They were beating each other? Some new kind of Physical Pain-endurance training?"

"No, idiot… they were… you know, playing hide the Kunai!"

"Stealth training?"

"Damn it, Lee! They were… riding each other into the sunset!"

"Oh, being youthful, you mean!" Lee's face dawned with comprehension at the mention of the word 'Sunset'.

"Yes!" Relief flowed over Temari's.

"But I and Gai do that all the time, and it hasn't really done anything like that for me." Lee looked disappointed, Temari looked extremely ill as the mental images did their evil duty and flashed before her eyes.

"Uh… Lee, what I mean is, when a man and a woman, who love each other very much… or are very, very drunk…" She began to explain.

"Ah, I see. They were fucking." Lee nodded, now it made sense.

"Exactl- _What?!_"

"I mean, I knew there had to be a reason why they both took to wearing white clothing, but I didn't think it was to hide the stains. I just hope they haven't been rash about this." He nodded again, crossing his arms and imitated his teacher's 'Me Gai, me big and wise' look.

"R-ra…rash?" Temari stuttered, thrown of guard by the fact that Rock Lee wasn't nearly as clueless as it seemed. "Lee, if you know what that word means Which-You-Really-Shouldn't-Say-In-Public-With-Kids-Around-By-The-Way (She waved an embarrassed apology at a set of scowling parents) then why didn't you put two and two together to start with?"

"I like to give people the benefit of the doubt." He gave her an unsettlingly piercing look. "After all, I've made my peace with Gaara, even though I have seen what your brother was capable of first hand, or unless you have forgotten…" He trailed off.

"You don't need to remind me, living with him back then, it was like looking into the face of death every single hour." She brooded, trying to damp down the memories.

"Another way in which we are alike, after all." He lit up, smiling.

"We aren't alike, Lee!"

"So you say. Come, there is more to show you."

Sighing, Temari let him lead, feeling a little put out.

On the other hand, this was perfect blackmail, for Lee and Tenten both…

--

"It's a rock."

"Excellent deduction, Temari-san. It is, as you have noticed, a rock." Lee gave his nice guy smile and held a pose. Temari honestly couldn't tell whether he really was this… different, or whether he was playing an immensely complicated prank on her.

"It's stony, hard, flat and browny-grey. Yup, that's a rock all right. I know my rocks. And that's one of them." She finished lamely, not quite sure what was expected of her in this situation.

"Notice anything special about this rock?" Lee hinted, causing Temari to look at it closely, scrutinizing every little detail.

"Not really. It's a rock, as far as I can tell. All I could do with this is probably biff it at somebody's head and give them brain damage. That or I could sit on it." She gave up, feeling ludicrous.

The two of them were sitting on a log beside a long, winding river roughly two hours from the village. The course of the raging waters changed every season, leaving a great expanse of large rocks that tumbled around on the grey expanse of the sloping hill. Lee had dragged her there 'To take a glimpse of Konoha's wild countryside', surrounded by trees and the occasion shrub.

"Ah, but you only looked at it, Temari-san."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? Taste it? It's a rock! It's not like it's hiding some incredible secret! What good would it do me to search everything out from some stupid rock?" She ranted, angry at having been tugged along to have some idiot lecture about things she could pick up and throw around back home.

"It is not? My apologies, Temari-san, I guess I was mistaken."

Temari glared at the boy.

"Fine, show me what's special about that piece of crap! And none of that Zen stuff about how a boulder shows me my place in the universe, or how the boulder represents the constipation of an elephant a hundred leagues from here. I want to see something genuinely special about it!" She grumbled, considering leaving him there and then.

"Very well. Please watch closely."

Lee went to pick up the rock, about the size and shape of a small melon, and carried it back with ease. Resting it on his lap, he began labourously carving a shallow ring around the circumference, giving a small lecture for his guest's uncaring ears.

"Fire country is, as you can imagine, filled with volcanoes that dot the countryside, most of them extinct, though some are still dormant and many are actually highly active. Within these volcanoes, compounds of silica and oxygenated alloys are fused together under extensive heat and pressure to become Volcanic glass, or obsidian. Depending on the impurities in the alloys, the colour of the obsidian can change from black to almost opaque, becoming similar to what we know as Quartz."

Temari yawned, clearly not interested as Lee began carving the line a little deeper, almost finishing the circle.

"Here, however, the impurities are quite unique, and as such has its own legend among the natives who live here and farm. The Obsidian here is called Pounamu, and has been fashioned into brutal clubs and spears and many other things for generations. There is a legend behind it, and a superstition that one cannot take Pounamu without cursing himself with the worst of luck, but one who gives Pounamu blesses both himself and his friend. This leads to one of its two names, that of 'The giving stone', the other, a reference to its colour…"

Lee stuck his kunai into the ring, and gave it a hard tap, splitting the rock in two and revealing that inside it lay not more rock, but of a green crystal that shifted in hue from leaf-green to vermillion to grass to kiwifruit and so many other shades, not sparkling but _blooming_ in its luster. Temari looked on, shocked, as Lee handed one half to her.

"… Is 'Konoha Jade'."

Temari's face slowly regained control, and she looked over at the grinning man.

"Special enough for you now, Temari-san?"

"It's… green." She said, and ranted at herself for not having more to say. "I like green."

"Another thing we-"

"That's getting old, Lee!"

"So you say."

--

"So, Lee, no training this afternoon?" She asked as they walked back.

"Gai-sensei gave me the day off, to show proper courtesy to the Flower of the Desert."

"Don't call me that, it makes me sound like a drag queen." Temari blenched. "Anyway, thanks for coming to show me around. Shikamaru's due back tomorrow, so I won't be in you way for long, hmm?"

"Nonsense, Temari-san! It has truly been a pleasure to escort you!"

"You're just saying that."

"I mean what I say! If I tell a lie then I shall polish your Jade necklace a thousand times with each hand!" Lee's eyes began to tear up as he smiled.

"Hey, whoa! It's enough that you carved me that stuff to begin with, Lee. You don't have to polish it anymore." Temari thought that that much was true, she liked the way the slightly coarse texture would graze her neck a little, scratching an itch that might never arise.

As for the rest of the jewellery (She was amazed at how much Jade one could get out of the rocks), she decided that it was too impractical for Ninja activities. Rings and Earrings got caught in things, likely to tear off whatever appendage they were attached to. As for tight necklaces (The one on her neck was loose, and a little less dangerous), one might as well give her foe a free garrote and say 'Go ahead, choke me.'

"If you really want, though, you can tell me why you think we're alike." Temari nodded as they took their seats for an afternoon coffee.

"Very well. We both have very dramatic ways of dealing with the knowledge that we are constantly standing at the River of Death's side…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dramatic? Me?" Temari blinked.

"You always have to have the last words, the best words, the strongest words. I just have to have the most words." Lee shrugged, "Naruto-kun is similar in that regard, possibly because a life of loneliness is very close to dying while still living, I don't know."

"And… Death?" Temari continued, getting interested in the skewed logic.

"You had Gaara, and I risk my life every time I open the Gates." Lee looked away for a second, but began where he had left off. "It is less so for both of us, now; with Shukaku gone and my control improved, but it is still a part of what we are."

"So… that's it?" Temari thanked the waiter as he brought their drinks, "That's all you based it on? That fact that our lives were endangered and that we're both loud?"

"We share the same affinity for wind techniques, we both rely on Jutsu that requires a high level of concentration, we both represent our countries through our clothes…"

"Wind techniques and concentration I can get…" Temari thought aloud, remembering Lee's 'Konoha Hurricane' and noting that the Initial and Rest Gates required a strong force of will to open, "… But the clothes? I'm wearing black and hints of red and purple. You're wearing green, not crimson."

"Colour has nothing to do with it, Temari-san." Lee pointed out, "You wear clothes that are baggy enough to let the wind through when it is hot, but closed enough to keep you warm when cold, showing the harsh duality of the desert. I wear this manly green suit –I suggest you get something for that cough, it sounds nasty- for all purposes, for the Weather in Fire country is mostly stable."

"That proves nothing."

"As Asuma Sensei told Shikamaru, 'Five coincidences eliminates the likelihood of coincidence'. We are alike, Temari-san, whether you car to admit it or not." Lee gave her the thumbs up, "I am confident that a brilliant, beautiful woman like yourself will soon come to accept that!"

"Uh… thanks, Lee." Temari coughed again, feeling embarrassed and just a touch flattered.

"We're still not alike, though."

"So you say."

--

The next day, Shikamaru arrived, and Temari couldn't help but notice the looks he shot at the necklace.

"Where'd you get that?"

Temari paused mid-sip, and pondered a little.

"A friend made it for me."

"Lee?"

"Yes."

There was a silence, for a while. Then Shikamaru gave her a rare smile.

"You know, you two really are alike in some ways."

"Oh, for… Not you too!"

--

Lee pauses in his training as he sneezed. He looks back towards Konoha, smiling slightly as Neji looks onward impatiently.

"Lee, I don't have all day! It's not like I have anything better to do!"

And Lee looks into the blank eyes of his teammate, and guesses the real reason why the Hyuuga wants to go home, or more precisely, go to somebody's home. The home of a particular weapons mistress, to be exact.

_Nothing better to do, Neji?_

_I think not._

"So you say."

As they return to sparing, Lee waits for the time when he too can begin his summertime. He waits patiently for the days when he can be impatient.

And who knows?

Perhaps the Jade will bless them both. Time will tell.

He can wait until summertime.

* * *

_Righto, you know the drill!_


	11. ShiKo: Secrets

_Right! Next one up. Thanks for all my reviewers!_

* * *

"_Ladies, quiet down!"_

If Shino could let himself sweat, he would be pouring a waterfall of nervous saltwater. If he could let himself shake with anxiety, you could use him as a Pneumatic drill. If he had the lack of will to lose control of his bladder with the anticipated terror, well… You be the judge.

"Whose idea was this again?" Neji mumbled from further backstage, smoothing out a crease on his lapel, and checking Sasuke's coat for any traces of pink lipstick. A yawning Naruto shrugged and drew a cup of icy water from a cooler, careful not to get his coattail wet.

"_I know you're very excited, but could we please… Moegi! What have I told you about setting fire to the pancakes?!"_

"_Haven't you ever heard of Crepes suzette?"_

"_I know you don't set fire to them after you stick them on the ceiling, put it out right now!"_

Shino tried to ease his disquiet, already his Kikkai were beginning to notice the taint of adrenaline and antihistamine in his bloodstream, and were starting to swarm in response. He spared a glance at his teammate, Kiba; the Marked Ninja looking strangely naked without his Nin-dog at his side. The young Inuzuka was ruffling his coat, unbuttoning both the top and bottom buttons of his shirt, playing his cards to the wild nature he was reputed for.

"_We only have this day once a year, and I'm pretty sure you've all been looking forward to it…"_

"_Damn right we have! Bring out the meat!"_

Shino saw Kakashi wince at the eager voices coming out from behind the curtain, balancing a tray of vole-a-vents with one hand and reading his porn with the other, his Sharingan eye covered not with the usual forehead protector but a pirate patch. His eternal rival was thankfully absent, having a mission with Lee patrolling the border with Stone from the past week up to the next.

"_Now, now, you'll have your eye-candy soon enough, if you'd just let me finish…"_

"_Stuff you, boss, you just don't have any hormones anymore!"  
_

"_WHO SAID THAT?!"_

A silent puff of smoke appeared next to Naruto, revealing a Clone using the Sexy technique, whispering into the Prankster's ear and winking before vanishing again.

There were times Shino admittedly felt jealous of the Demon child, for his tenacity, his ability to sway the world using nothing more than a good intention and an unbreakable will, but Shino knew it was better not to envy. The Uzumaki heir had no chance against him in battle, that much was certain. What good was the Rasengan against an insect?

"_If somebody doesn't own up, right now, the entire thing is cancelled!"_

"_But Tsunade-Shishou, nobody said anything!"_

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief and clapped his comrade on the back, thanking him silently. Naruto just grinned while Neji made his own gratitude known.

"Took long enough." He grumbled.

"Bastard." Naruto grunted back.

"_Trust me, I'll find out who it was. I have my sources, I have my information, I have Ibiki. Somebody will find themselves regretting opening their mouth tonight."_

"_Hokage-sama, you're scaring the Genin."_

Shikamaru and Chouji turned up from the right wing, struggling to fix the larger boy's tuxedo buttons over his waist. Chuoji had only made it back from a mission two days earlier, not soon enough to get his suit custom-fitted like a few of the boys from wealthier clans. As a result, the top looked fairly strained over the shoulders, and fitting it around his stomach was proving difficult.

"Remember, big guy, you have to deliver the goods before you eat them this time, right?"

"Damn, Shika, what kind of guy do you think I am?"

"Well, there was the occasion last year when you ate Shizune's hat…" Kiba snickered, picturing the memory clearly.

"Look, it was covered in fruit and I was soooo hungry! I only took one bite!"

"Took one bite? Chouji, you used your expansion jutsu to engorge your head until you could fit the entire thing in your mouth." Shikamaru sighed, "Please, can we just get this done with without any mishaps?"

The air suddenly blew due Expectant.

"Fine. 'It would be troublesome for that to happen'." He groaned, "Happy now?"

"It sounds better when you mean it." Naruto nodded to himself, a few of the others mumbling their assent.

"_Very well. Ladies and… well, more ladies… In celebration of Kunoichi day, I have collected together the finest of the Male Shinobi to serve and delight you for a full three hours. Please welcome the Konoha host club!"_

"Shit!" Neji hissed, scrambling to pick up his tray and pot of iced tea just before the curtain rose. Kakashi stopped leaning against the wall and slipped his book into the pocket on the inside of his jacket, placing the bookmark Sakura had given him last Christmas.

Sasuke glared at Naruto, who was busying himself with balancing a cup on his head as he juggled around a plate of pate and crackers with a cheeseboard. The blond caught his gaze and smiled apologetically.

"How was I to know she'd give up on looking?" He moaned as the area beyond the curtain arose into view and exposed the wide stateroom filled with tables upon tables of giggling, hungry-eyed ninja of the female persuasion.

Blinking in the lights, the Ninja men of Konoha found themselves cheered off the stage and set about their tasks at hand, cursing life in general and one Godaime in particular.

--

"Three Shockers-on-the-rockers, two medium-egged." Shino relayed to Genma as he placed the empty glasses on the bar and moped his brow with a handkerchief. He watched the comings and goings at the large hall. The bug-user usually didn't have anything to do with women, knowing full well that he was likely to marry somebody picked by his father. Getting attached at this stage at his life was a surefire recipe for heartbreak.

But at times like this, when Hinata was laughing freely with Tenten over something he didn't understand, or when Yugao Uzuki took off her mask to give a stunned Kakashi an ample look at her Sylvan features (Not to mention leaning over far enough to grant him an unparalleled view of other things besides), Shino really wished that things didn't have to be that way.

It was hard, truly, to sacrifice his normality for possibly unrivaled power. Most Ninja were taught to embrace teamwork, while some, like the Ino-Shika-Chou trio, were born into their roles.

But the Aburame were literally bred to become parts of the clan, become another cog in the all-seeing machine that was the Hivemind. Other clans had to work in order to get two people who knew one style to work together efficiently, Neji and Hinata were impossible to put together and expect any semblance of teamwork, but Shino…

Combined with the members of his family, and the Hives that they tended with their flesh, they could easily pool their talents into a great throng of insects governed by the centre of thoughts, forever capable, forever a living, breathing reminder to the village of silent death.

The price for that power, that unity, was ironically weakness and solitude. The insects gave themselves; the user gave Chakra and oft had difficulty performing normal Ninjitsu. The reputation that bound the Aburame also alienated them from the outside world, no matter how either side tried. It was Shino's comforter and anguish, all at once. He was two people, and neither was particularly happy at his situation.

"Oi, Kid, you gonna stand there all day?"

Shino turned and picked up his tray without looking at the Chunin who took his Senbon from his mouth as the Bug boy left, muttering about weirdos as he wiped a few glasses clean with his other hand.

As he neared his table, he kept an eye out for any rowdy behaviour. By this time, either Naruto, Tsunade-Hime or Kiba would be causing a disturbance and clearing out the hall, so a keen knowledge of ones distance to the emergency exits was a clear and logical survival step.

But no, Kiba was busy chatting to a pretty young woman with black-ink tattoos running to her neck and hands from under her clothes. Naruto was currently engrossed in a tale from one of Kakashi's old flames, Toshi, while Tsunade seemed too immersed in a drinking contest with Sakura (At the latter's complaints of the damages it could cause to her kidneys) to cause mischief. Shino wondered absently how much money the Legendary Sucker would lose after tonight.

"Your drinks." He said plainly as he reached the table, placing the orders as smoothly as he could, careful not to let his glasses slip off his nose as the girls thanked him and returned to gossiping. He began searching the other tables for the green reservation slips that informed of the need for a waiter.

He found one, over the far side of the room, and methodically made his way across, squeezing between tables and avoiding pools of drunken revelers.

"Hey, ladybug! Saw a woman in distress, didja?"

His approach slowed as he watched one Mitarashi Anko hail him from across the room at the table he intended to serve. The exam proctor was sitting alone, surrounded by roughly a dozen empty sake bottles and giggling to herself with half-closed lids. Not wishing to provoke the temperamental (Or just mental) woman, Shino kept his movement as calm as he could manage, which was a feat in itself.

"Have you made a selection, oheko-san?" Shino asked, referring to her as a 'client' in the traditional language. Hopefully, Anko-san would take the hint and distance herself accordingly before anything drastic occurred.

"Y-yeah, I'll have him, and him, and him…" The snake-handler pointed at random men in the crowd, before leering at the stage where Kiba and Neji were playing a traditional flute and Shamisen duet.

"And those two. At once. They'll be playing a different tune by the end of the night, heh heh heh…" She giggled, before letting her head slump backwards as she contemplated the ceiling.

"I was implying that you may order beverages, Ohe-" Shino started, before a thin vibration through his body alerted him to a disturbance of his bugs. The pheromones they released painted a picture.

_Cold-sliding-low-poison-tooth-fang-scales…_

_Snake._

Shino quickly stepped back, avoiding the hissing reptile that had curled around the table leg closest to him. His Kikkai made a shrill buzzing as he fought off the urge to retaliate.

"You're fast, kiddo, I'll give you that." Anko nodded, suddenly acting a lot less intoxicated. Most of the bottles on the table faded into nothing as the Bunshin had their chakra cut off, leaving two solitary containers. "But I would think that you'd have learned to expect death wherever you go, being a Chunin…"

"Mittarashi-san…" Shino coughed, not in the mood for games.

"Anko will do. Sit. Keep me company." The tone of her voice was that of a command.

"Anko-san, I have other-"

"Sit. This is one of your duties, right? You're going to keep me from getting bored and slipping ether into the fruit salad, just as Tsunade would want you to." She grinned ferally, watching the younger boy's inner conflict. On his face there was no visible sign of the internal battle, but Anko had been around long enough to see the less controllable aspects.

His finger twitched, his eyebrows were slowly moving into a frown, his bugs were slowly becoming shrill… She let the smile subside, no point in scaring the boy.

"I won't bite, that costs extra."

Shino made no other expression, but pulled out a chair and sat.

"What do you wish to talk about?"

"Straight to the money, eh?" Anko sighed, "I don't remember anything about saying I wanted to talk. I just didn't want to have to share my booze with only myself." She picked up a bottle for emphasis, "You ever been on a bender, Shino?"

"My father advised against alcohol, something about Kikkai and the fumes don't mix."

"Sure, of course Shibi would 'advise' you against it. He never lets you have any fun, you know that?"

"How would you know of the workings of my father?" Shino frowned, displeased at the line of questioning.

"… There we go; you just proved that you agreed with me." Anko clicked her fingers, "For a genius, you don't watch your words very well."

"I did not agree with you."

"Sure you did, you didn't disagree."

"That doesn't-"

"Those who speak not against that which they know to be wrong, do consent with the wrongdoing that they failed to bar." Anko gave a victorious smirk, like someone laying down a triumphant hand in poker.

"Ancient platitudes will not prove that my father is… restrictive upon my social activities." Shino huffed, making a move to leave.

"Then prove me wrong, drink two full bottles and I'll take it back. That, or you gotta take off your glasses, we're all dying to see what you have under them…" The proctor ran her tongue over her lips, "I can't stand secrets, Shino-kun. They twist in your gut and turn your insides black with rot."

"I'm not taking my glasses off in anyone's company, especially yours, Anko-san." Shino rebuffed, sitting back down as another waiter came by with Anko's drinks, suspiciously carrying three bottles of Osake.

"You anticipated that I would refuse." Shino spoke bluntly as the boy left, gazing intently at the bottles.

"I anticipated that you would go on the defensive, Shino. Besides, I could call you out for refusing the wishes of a Patron, something the girls here wouldn't like to see. You're trapped, Aburame, and there ain't jack you can do about it." Anko nudged the bottles towards him.

"Bottoms up, Shino-kun."

Slowly, hesitantly, Shino's hand made its way around white, porcelain vessel. "I can leave after this, correct?"

"Maybe." Was all the Special Jonin told him, smiling like a cat, showing her teeth as he took a hesitant sip.

To her minor surprise, he didn't splutter at the burning sensation as it went down his throat, although that was nothing when he sculled the rest of the bottle in great, heaving gulps.

_Dookadookadookadookadookadook…_

"Holy shit, slow down, it ain't _that_ weak!" Anko cautioned as he reached for the next bottle, still without a token of expression. Not a single drop had made it onto his suit, which added yet to the unexpectedness of the situation.

_Dookadookadookadookadookadook…_

Holding a napkin to his lips, Shino wiped off a small trace of alcohol that had missed his lips. His adversary looked on in stunned horror as he reached for the last bottle.

"Hey, that's mine! Don't touch my booze!"

Too late.

_Dookadookadookadookadookadook…_

"You bastard!!"

"Pah." Was all the response Shino gave, holding a hand to his mouth to stifle the resulting burp. Had he not done that and let the air pass through his mouth, the night might have turned out differently.

For one thing, his stomach gas was now mostly consisting of ethanol, and letting it out through his mouth would mean that the fumes wouldn't have taken a detour through his nose, bringing the inebriating fumes into contact with the underside of his brain.

The effects of which were anyone's guess.

"I feel… strange." Was all he admitted, feeling his head slowly bob to the left. Anko stared for a few seconds, wondering how in hells name he'd managed to stay upright after taking enough liquor to make even Chouji slightly tipsy in one shot.

"Was that your first time drinking?" She wondered aloud, Shino shook his head.

"I've had to deal with Kiba and his drinking contests on multiple occasions." He held in another burp, placing an arm on the table to steady himself.

"You actually got into a man-game? That's quite… a revelation." Anko snorted with amusement, it was obvious that the Chunin in question couldn't handle the alcohol very well, especially with her 'special ingredient' that graced the insides of one of the bottles.

"It was either me or Hinata." Shino nodded, a little careless as his head flopped a snatch. "And leaving Kiba alone with a woman while under the influence is a recipe for disaster."

"Wait, where is he?" His head shot up in time to see his teammate laughing at a table filled with women. Face turning into a frown, he placed his hands on the table and hoisted himself up, leaning over the wood to get himself a better view.

"Pointless bastard." He spat. Anko looked at him like he'd grown an extra head. "All he does is flirt, never thinks about what that does to those around him. Suddenly Hinata's a closet pervert and I'm a peeping tom, just because we're in the same team as the horniest ninja in Konoha."

He sad down, grumbling as a waiter put down another tray of drinks (Anko made sure this time around to take two out of Shino's reach) and broke the cap off a bottle of Malt. "And don't get me started on what his Reputation did to Sensei. Some people hold her in the same view as Kakashi, but somehow not showing any outward signs makes it worse…"

"… Uh, Shino, you really shouldn't talk about your team behind their back." Anko warned, beginning to wonder if getting the Genius of Team Eight tipsy was indeed a good idea.

"What, you wanted me to talk, didn't you?" His speech was starting to slip into the more casual tones, prompting Anko to take action before he downed another bottle.

"Just remember who you're talking to, kid." She growled. Her hair started to spread out a little from the ends of the ponytail, her eyes began covering with a black sclera, one of the last remnants of her curse seal.

"Scary." Shino admitted, "But futile, Anko-sempai. But then what do you wish to talk about?"

"I don't know. What do you want to talk about?"

"People. I don't talk about people very much, even though they're more interesting than anything else…" Shino's head drooped a little.

"People, interesting? Shino, I think I should introduce you to the reality of people." Anko sighed, taking a swig from a Cruiser, Shino following suit.

"See, with people, you think that with so many different kinds, so many different faces, there have to be a thousand stories untold wherever you go. That's a mistake. People are the same, People, when left to their own devises, tend just to copy each other."

She took a breath, steadying herself.

"So when you go up on the Rooftops at night, and look at the shining lights and wonder what secrets, what dirty little plans are being kept… It's all an illusion. An illusion cast by creatures who think their instincts are emotions and their words have any semblance of thought attached and have yet to realize that all their hopes and dreams are boringboring_boring._"

Shino looked up from his drink.

"What are you saying?"

Anko gave him a condescending smile.

"People are stupid, Shino-kun. People are _boring._ People do exactly what other people do, and ostracize the ones who move against the system. That's why we have villages, clans, Missing-nin status, the Bingo book, the academy. It's all to determine who can keep their head in line, who can excel the way people think they should excel…" Anko gave one last sigh, took another drink, and looked over the crowd, eyes forlorn as she watched the congregation.

Shino gave her a long look.

"Can I revise my statement?" He asked.

"Go ahead."

"I'd like to talk about interesting people."

"That's better." She laughed, "That's the way to think!"

Shino felt his mouth twitch, it took him a couple of seconds to realize he was smiling, something the woman opposite him quickly noticed and pried at.

"An Aburame smiling? Somebody break out the thermometers, hell just froze over!"

"Do not jest; I am simply amused at the irony." Shino took another swig.

"Irony?"

"You complained that people act as a collective whole, but you just congratulated me on thinking the same way that you do, enforcing your own rules on collectivization." Shino put down his bottle for emphasis.

"Technically, if only two people are part of a collective, then it's more of a survival tactic, designated to influence co-operation through difficult environs." Anko countered, glad that her psychology sessions with Ibiki had paid off.

"Ah, but if you take into consideration…"

Debating the human psyche, the two continued debating into the night, heedless to the fact that Shino had been given leave when he drunk the second bottle, his insects slowly falling out of his coat as the increasing amounts of alcohol in his bloodstream were absorbed, or the fact that the night was quickly growing old.

--

"…so thank you, everyone, for a wonderful night! Next year will be even bigger! Good night, and have a safe journey home." Tsunade proclaimed over the throng, painfully aware of the premium bottle of vodka that she'd hidden in her cleavage.

What a night, nobody got into any particularly dangerous mishaps (Except for Naruto's little Protegy, Konohamaru, reversing the gender of his Oiroke no Jutsu and stripteasing for the audience, resulting in no end of blood noses from the feminine crowd) and the hall was still intact.

Still, it wouldn't be a girl's night in if somebody didn't try to steal… and there she was.

"Mitarashi Anko!!"

--

"They're empty, I was putting them back!" Anko shouted, holding the bottles up to prove that, for once, the exam proctor wasn't raiding the open bar.

The Hokage gave her a sour look, fidgeting with her top, and quickly walked out of the room.

"Now then, Shino?" The former test subject called out, oblivious to the wonky buzzing behind her.

"I've got them." Shino motioned to the weaving globe of insects, a side of glass or a cap showing where their concentration lapsed. The insect user fought off the urge to laugh, the one time he laughed near company had left those concerned scarred for life.

"Good boy, need a walk home?"

"A gentlemen always… whoa… I… I forgot what I was saying, what was the question again?" Shino slurred, trying not to trip over his own feet.

"Urgh… Come on, then."

--

"Hey, hey Anko…?"

"For crying out loud, _what?_"

"Heh… heh heh… Twenty five!" Shino snorted, giggling so intensely he nearly walked into the gate surrounding the compound.

"Sheesh, I didn't know what I was getting myself into." She muttered, glad she hadn't drunk as much as the younger boy.

"Heh… y'know, you're kinda like an older sister… I always wanted one." Shino gave a tiny, lopsided smile. "And you said that… you don't like secrets, right? Here's my big secret, but you gotta promise you won't tell anyone, okay?"

Anko sighed.

"Sure, kid."

"Okay… Here it is!"

At that, Shino removed his glasses, Anko took a good hard look at him.

"Red eyes… are you related to Kurenai?"

"Nope!"

Anko watched him for a little longer, before something changed. Her heart clenched, her hands shook, her mind tried to deny what she'd seen. Who would have known? Who would have guessed? Now, the fact that nobody had ever seen Shino's mother started to make sense.

This was definitely something that needed to stay secret.

"Shino, put your glasses back on. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay."

As the gate closed, Mitarashi Anko debated the nature of secrets.

--

The next day, Shino finds her eating Dango at her usual seat on the _Obitaki_, her sweet-junk store.

He wordlessly shouts her lunch, and glares at her through his glasses.

Anko glares right back, and it doesn't take any imagination to see the single tomoe spinning in the boy's right eye from the rage.

"I want your secrets." He orders.

"You'll have to earn them." She calmly replies.

The two were bound after that day, but how was anyone's guess. They talked, they walked together, they made sure that their past was concealed, their future even more so.

But at least they could watch people without being struck by the gossip mill, and talk of the world around them.

Talk was something they needed, because even Genius' and Outcasts needed to be one of the people.

Even if they both despised them, felt superior to them, wanted to be free of them…

… They dearly wished to be one of them.

But two years later, they became _us_, rather than _them._

How? That remains a greater secret still.

* * *

_Next will be a bit of a Guilty Gear themed thingy for Neji and Tenten, and then it's another NaruHina, then it's the final part of GaaIno. Suggestions and reviews are needed!_


	12. NaruHina: Collection Pt 1

_Part one of a three-part oneshot. Mostly Hinata centric._

* * *

"Hey, old lady, what's the deal?!"

"You wanted a _vital_ mission, that's what you get!!"

Shizune breathed out lightly as the argument continued, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear as the drama played out. The event leading to the extended… chat… between the current Hokage and the potential next wasn't complicated. Uzumaki, having run low on funds, had started taking Solo missions to pay off the haphazard extensions he was making to his apartment, although nobody knew what they were.

Which led to him requesting a B-class from the Hokage (Despite the restrictions of the Genin rank, Naruto obviously felt he was entitled to an exception) in his usual blunt manner, which led to the Hokage giving him a menial task out of spite.

Tsunade, however, had grudgingly let the Fox-vessel have a mission that was originally assigned to her assistant (Shizune winced, she hadn't been aware that she'd pissed the boss off enough to get put back into the field) due to its medical nature. Restore the village's supply of willow bark extract, while reducing damage to the outer husk of the bark to allow the fickle trees to survive.

Not a dangerous task, but one that definitely required a steady hand and good control of internal and external chakra flow.

Giving the elusive strand another tug, Shizune put her attention again to the task of following the strong-willed people in front of her.

"… get paid, isn't that what you want?!"

"You could pay me to clean out a sewer with my tongue, and I still wouldn't do it!"

"Listen, brat-!!"

Muttering under her breath, Shizune looked over to the clock on the wall. Seven of the morning, no wonder Tsunade-sama was cranky; her scheduled Pick-me-up was overdue by ten minutes.

"- Driving me crazy, take it or leave it!"

"Please, Naruto, this is more important to the village than you know. We understand that you're reluctant, but we'll be sure to recompensate you for your trouble." Shizune stepped in, trying to prevent her fate from sending her out on the droll assignment.

"You will?" Asked an incredulous Naruto.

"We will?" Asked an equally confused Tsunade.

"Yes, we will." Shizune tapped the underside of the table, sending Tsunade the signal not to interrupt. "You have the capabilities to complete a five day task in roughly five hours with the Shadow Clone technique; all we ask is that you take somebody to make sure you don't kill the trees."

"And actually do the damn job." Tsunade couldn't help but interject, her patience with the boy well and spent.

"Hokage-sama, please. Now, Naruto, you're a little… lacking when it comes to control, aren't you?"

"Uh… I can form the Rasengan with only one Shadow Clone, now!" Naruto beamed, genuinely proud of his rising ability.

"We want you to bleed the trees, not blow them up." Shizune gently told him off, "Put it this way, how are you with chakra strings?"

"Kakashi-Sensei told me not to practice those after I sliced open Sakura's shirt in training when the string went crazy. I dunno if I'd be any good at them." The boy looked a little downcast, mumbling along the lines of '-and I didn't even get to see anything…'

Much to her surprise, Tsunade mumbled something at exactly the same time.

'-not like there'd be much to see…'

Shizune coughed, drawing attention back to her little talk as Naruto started to glaze over with a face she'd seen many a time on the Pervy Sage.

"Do you want to assign a partner to yourself, or would you rather we found somebody who fit the bill?"

"First of all, how many trees do you want bleed or whatever?" Naruto piped up, picking out the mission details out of a summoning scroll.

"Fifty, maybe sixty if you don't get tired." Tsunade answered, "It takes an hour to drain a tree of it's excess, so you'd better be able to keep those clones of yours active."

Naruto nodded, "Hard, but I can do that. But who can keep track of fifty clones?"

Shizune and Tsunade shared a look. "We'll figure something out. We'll send someone to Gate twelve with the location of the copse at six in the morning tomorrow, so don't be late or she'll leave without you."

"Uh…" Naruto dearly wished to point out that he hadn't actually agreed to the mission, but the sight of Tsunade-baba almost crushing the sake bottle she'd pulled from the drawer in her hand had convinced him; this time discretion was the better part of valour.

--

"You've already chosen somebody, I see." Tsunade chuckled as she took a shot from her glass, giving her student the lazy eye over the rim.

"I… how did you know?" Shizune jumped, not amused at the mind-games her mentor was playing.

"… You know why you never made Jonin?"

Shizune smirked.

"Because I never applied for the exams."

Tsunade grunted, displeased. "Well then, you know why I don't think you'll make Jonin in the near future?"

Her assistant made a show of shuffling through paperwork, trying to hide her embarrassment as Tsunade took another shot.

"It's because you don't guard your words."

"But… I watched my tone, my enunciation didn't give away any clues, none of it sounded premeditated!" Shizune blinked, "Ah, I see. Clever bluff, Shishou."

"Not a bluff, kid. You did keep your voice correct, but your words gave you away. In particular, your pronouns." Tsunade gave her a toothy grin. Her aide was creepily reminded of the Demon Fox.

"I beg your pardon?" She asked, perplexed.

"_She_, Shizune. Who is she? Who is this woman who'll solve our problems with the mission? The one who'll have eyes on the back of her head, the one who can see in all… directions… Ah." Tsunade rested her head on her now-steeped hands. Frowning, she gave her subordinate a cautious look.

"Are you sure, Shizune? I mean, she's… good. But her weakness for… well, you know how that could get. Especially now that the renegade is on the loose, I don't think this mission is going to be all as safe as we make it out to be. She'll need to kept herself from distraction."

"She's boasting a lot of promise, Shishou. A-grade techniques, flexibility that puts the rest of the village to shame, an increasingly lethal repertoire of Taijutsu… all she needs is a confidence boost and she'd be ready to take the Jonin exams. A few years after that, and I can see her making ANBU, easy." Shizune gave her reasons, but she too was troubled by the knowledge of how the mission could turn out.

"Which renegade, Tsunade-sama, ours or… theirs?" She spoke carefully, aware of the secrecy regarding the forbidden village.

"Theirs. I received a letter from his matriarch; apparently he's out for the blood of the Yondaime's legacy, something about his father…" Tsunade trailed off, not knowing whether to continue.

"The Yondaime was his father? Kushina had more than one child?" Shizune gasped, shocked. Her mentor shook her head.

"No, Naruto has no siblings, but the father of the renegade had something to do with the seal. Whether he helped design it, or whether he died defending it… whatever the case, he's out for Uzumaki's head."

"And you're sending him outside of the protection of the village?!" Shizune slammed her hand down on the table, "I don't care about how it might prevent an incident with the other village, Shishou; but what if he's tied to the Akatsuki, or has his heart set on reversing the seal? How is sending him outside of the walls going to save Naruto?!"

Tsunade pointedly stared at the hands until Shizune removed them.

"I know the techniques they use, Shizune. They stake out a mark for days if they have to, and then they kill him in his sleep. They always kill the target while he is helpless, and they watch for a pattern as to where he will be unable to defend himself. They are ruthless, brutal, and efficient; in other words, they're what Ninja aspire to be, but so few become because of overconfidence or insecurities or other human weaknesses."

"And in that village, those things get you killed. Only the cruel and clean live in that Village hidden under the Moon." Tsunade looked up, her eyes bitter and narrow. "If Naruto is no longer in our village when he arrives, the renegade will waste time ascertaining his location. His sister is a day behind him as we speak, she will eliminate his urge for blood, one way or another."

Seconds passed, and Tsunade took another drink.

Shizune gulped. "So… what next? What of Naruto's companion?"

"Call her up if you're sure." Tsunade gave her permission, "I doubt she'll say no."

"At once." Shizune smiled, before a cough from her tutor turned her around.

"What did I remember? Oh, right, what did you say about compensation?" Tsunade was looking at her fingers in a casual fashion.

Shizune smirked.

"We didn't tell him how much he would be paid to begin with, did we? And I didn't put the starting payment on the scroll."

Tsunade laughed.

"You're learning, 'Zune."

--

"Excuse me, is Hyuuga Hinata in, please?" Shizune asked the doorman at the Hyuuga estate, watching him frown at the name as if it was some kind of taboo.

"She has a guest." He snubbed, making to close the door in her face.

Shizune had two options, give in to the irritation at being blown off and smash the door off its hinges, or stick her foot in the crack.

Neither of those appealed, so she went for option number three and formed the horse seal, sending tendrils of chakra to bombard the man's sensory apparatus and lace his fats and lipids into narcotic liquids. The Karajutsu was complete, and she opened the unresisting door, behind which a now visibly stoned doorman stood.

"Hyuuga Hinata." She smiled.

"At once, Miss… Do you have a cheeseburger on you, by any chance?"

--

"A day off?" Hinata gulped, "A day off, away from the clan properties? I would like that very much, Shizune-san."

"Just Shizune will do, Hinata. But please, Tsunade-sama is getting worried that you've shut yourself away like this, no missions, nothing."

The Medic-nin poured herself another cup of Green tea, not paying attention to the taste as her eyes roamed the Spartan room. Hinata seemed to be living the life of one dedicated to Zen, if her bare walls and simple furniture were to be any judge.

The visitor turned out to be nothing more then a Shadow Clone with an altered voice that the young heir had created, both to convince others that she was not alone in her room and to assist her chakra coil growth. The teenager folded her arms on her lap as she knelt, milky eyes unreadable in the gloomy light.

"I have been training, Shizune-san. Kurenai-sensei recommended me to Gai-sensei and Neji-niisan for an enhancement on my technique."

"Fortifying your Taijutsu? You were thinking of specializing?" Shizune blinked, taking another gulp of the faintly-flavoured tea.

"No, Nara Shikamaru and I have been working on Ninjitsu together, and Ino and myself have undergone extra training with Kurenai-sensei for Genjutsu." Hinata gave a little smile, "Her Bakugenhana no jutsu is truly a sight to behold, so very graceful."

"I see."

"Is there something else, Shizune-san?" Hinata looked up with wide, slightly worried eyes. "Is there something I need to know?"

Chuckling to herself, the Hokage's assistant put a finger to her lips in mock musing. "I take it you already approve of the mission, Hinata? We can count on your co-operation?"

"Hai."

"Anything we could do to further sweeten the deal?" Shizune began to let the grin straining to burst onto her face ease out. Hinata jumped like somebody had placed an ice cube down her shirt.

"N-no, I'm very grateful for this mission."

"Are you sure, there isn't anything else we could tempt you with?"

"No, you have been very generous; the level of pay is more than adequate."

"Oh? To be fair, the extra pay is used to cover… incidental expenses. Food, mostly." Shizune took another drink, trying not to snort with laughter at Hinata's clueless expression.

"Hinata, for the sake of the mission, I can't really tell you who we're pairing you with, but I think I can give you a hint. The two of you will be out for most of the day, so pack a big, _big_ lunch" Shizune winked, "You'll thank me for it someday. Meet up at gate twelve, and don't be late!"

Hinata nodded slowly, trying to read the face of her senior. Nothing seemed to be showing, so she thanked her again for the mission, brushed off the compliments of her guest with the reasons that all Hyuuga were meant to accommodate, and showed her out.

Alone again in her room, Hinata sat on her bed and made up her mind to start preparing for the next day. Training could wait, she just needed to keep busy.

And daydream about smiling blue-eyed boys who danced with her over the lakes of glass.

--

"Okay… Twenty, thirty, forty. Gotcha!"

Uzumaki Naruto fussed about his apartment, counting and recounting the tiny jars that were used to hold the thin fluid from the bark extract, sealing them into a long, thin scroll that he holstered in his backpack. Once he got to the grove, he could unseal, pass them out to his Bunshin, collect, reseal and head back.

He felt the soldier pill in the capsule on his belt-buckle, grimacing at the notion that he might not have the strength to make it make home after five hours of maintaining his Bunshin. Even with the chakra of the Demon fox, such a feat would probably tax his stamina.

Satisfied that he wasn't going to miss anything out, and taking a quick swig from the milk carton in the fridge, Naruto went out. Locking the door, and leaping through the village, he was always hazily silhouetted in the thin wisps of the early morning.

The rays of the sun were just starting to colour the clouds on the horizon orange as he finally touched down at one of the civilian entrances to the village. Apart from the guards (Who didn't appear to notice him, or just didn't care) and a solitary farmer moving an ox-drawn cart of flour bags through the gate, the place was deserted.

He checked the angle of the sun, not especially sure of the time. Shouldn't his partner be here now?

A gasp, quiet but easily heard in the pre-dawn ambience where even the birds didn't sing. That gasp found its way to Naruto's ears, he turned, he saw nothing and felt nothing. But he had heard something.

"If you're my guide, stop hiding! I've got trees to stab!" Naruto called out, the guards at the gate wincing at the volume and looking back to their magazines.

The only reply was a whisper of breeze through the trees. And then, footsteps. Shy, hesitant little pads on the earth around the village walls that raised tiny puffs of dust. Hinata slowly emerged from behind a turn in the fortification, a massive backpack on her shoulders and a nervous look in her eyes.

"Hinata? Hey! Been a while, huh?" Naruto grinned, "Should've thought you would come, I can't really think of anyone else who could see out the back of her head, and Neji doesn't go on missions with me anymore after we blew up the public toilets in Rain."

Hinata's mouth gaped like a fish, hardly believing her eyes. It seemed like something out of a dream. Her, her admired person, a solo mission, an entire day to themselves, and a lunch large enough to give Chouji a run for his money. At least she had Naruto to herself today; she'd have to give it her best shot not to let him down!

"Money… Shot…" She murmured, before squeaking and rubbing her fingers together, mentally kicking herself at her believed immaturity.

"Or when we decided to disguise ourselves as husband and wife, I did my sexy jutsu and everyone kept thinking we were a lesbian couple… embarrassing, much?" Naruto continued, still smiling and not paying too much attention.

"I… I guess so…" Hinata forced herself to agree, trying to figure the reason behind his new dress code.

Gone were the orange jackets and trackpants, in their place was a pair of tiger-stripe trousers and a browny-mandarin mix shirt, covered by an armoured vest that had apparently been a gift from Kakashi. Stuffed with scrolls and with easy-access pockets bursting with unknown items (She didn't want to speculate on the book-sized lump on his right flank, looking just the right size to be an Icha Icha volume).

It was a casual look, and Hinata found that her toned-down dress sense, one she'd adopted after her Chunin graduation, blended in quite well with it.

"And then there was the time when I swapped the bottles around in his bathroom. I swear, you'd think the guy never thought of dyeing his hair!" He mimicked her cousin screaming his head off as he caught sight of his reflection, and she couldn't help but laugh a little at his antics.

"I remember t-that, Naruto-kun. Bleached blond hair really does not suit Ni-san." She chuckled a little more at his proclamations to murder Lee after the Green Beast started making comparisons between him and Yamanaka Ino, both for the similarities in their hair and the screeching.

"Yeah, well… hey, can I smell food?"

"You can smell food all you want, Naruto-kun, I don't mind." Hinata forced her face into a serious expression.

"No seriously, I can sme-… Did you just make a joke?" He asked, his eyebrows raised.

"There isn't a law against it. Come along, Naruto-kun, the day will be over soon."

"Eh? But… But Hinata-chan, it's six in the morning!" He shielded his eyes as the dawn broke over the clouds, squinting to keep his eyes on his partner.

"That's right; six hours have been wasted already. Shall we go?" She resisted the urge to giggle as her crush stood with his arms at his sides, oblivious to the goading.

"Uh… sure. So anyway, didja hear about the time me and Shikamaru totaled…"

After the two had left from sight of the gate, one of the two guards blurred, morphing into something cloaked in shadows that circled it like slow-motion hurricane.

The other guard looked up, sprung to his feet, reached for a Kunai.

"Who the hell are you?! Where's Shirai?!"

The last thing he saw was a pair of white eyes and a shining grin in the middle of raging blackness, and the last thing he felt was something ripping open the back of his skull.

--

_I've had questions regarding Fanart and Communities, lately. If you wanna draw, be my guest. If you wanna put this in a community, go right ahead!_

_Review, Pig slaves! I need more feedback!_


	13. NaruHina: Collection Pt 2

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Part two of what will become a five-shot. Maybe I should do this as a seperate story... maybe. Next chapter will be action, chapter after that will be revelationary, chapter after will be uber-romance.

* * *

_What do I do? What do I do?! What do I do?!_

Ten minutes into the journey to the Willow spinney had Hyuuga Hinata's nerves shot to hell. Amongst the half-hearted vows of vengeance towards Shizune for putting her in a figurative pickle, the anguish at having packed so much food into her backpack and the helplessness of the situation, one piece of information stood out:

_I'm alone with Naruto-kun!_

And after that thought, years of low self-esteem and a complete lack of dates (Courtesy of Brother Neji and her eyes that only saw yellow hair and whiskers) put together another. It snuck in, no matter how hard she tried to repress the doubt, the niggling pessimism:

_What am I supposed to do? What do I do?!_

"… And I told her, 'Baa-chan, there's no way you can bet on the coin not falling on either side'. I kinda thought she was hoping that it'd land on its side or something stupid like that…"

_Ino-san said to sashay my hips, but what in the name of my ancestors does THAT mean? Does it mean I have to cover them in tin-wrap and make a little cut and sprinkle it over the Soba?_

"… weird jutsu, and the coin melted! She said 'Oh well, better luck next time, brat.' 'coz she thought just because you couldn't tell which side it was one made it impossible to tell if it had landed on its side…"

_Anko-sempai gave me that perverted book and told me to wear whatever the models did… but they weren't wearing anything, and when I told her she said 'Exactly.'!! I can't… no, maybe on… maybe when…_

"… the metal cooled and I said it landed on a flat side, so she lost, and you know what she did?"

_Sakura-san told me to wear good perfume… but what does he like to smell? Maybe if I soaked myself in ramen broth and let him… lick it… off me…_

"…seeing red, and through me right out the window and into the nightclub outside Ichiraku's. You'd be amazed at -Your nose is bleeding, by the way- the stuff they got up to in there!"

_By the minor Kami, I'm bleeding! I've been corrupted! Curse you, perverted friends!_

"I mean, it would've given Mr 'Super Pervert' a run for his money, but I swear I didn't look! I just know because somebody told me afterwards!"

_What was it that Tenten tried to… oh, right, traditional gear. I guess a Kimono wouldn't be appropriate for a mission, anyway… Huuuuu, why me?_

"So anyway, I'll be splitting up and drawing the syrupy stuff and…"

_What do I do?_

"… little bottles, and-"

"What do I do?" Hinata mumbled to herself.

"-I was getting to that, you're supposed to make sure they don't get antsy and kill the trees with your peepers." Naruto nodded, "Can't say I'm happy about it, but B-ranked pay for a D-ranked job means twenty days of nothing but Deluxe Ramen and Chocolate milk!"

"You'll get sick, Naruto-kun." Hinata admonished him, shaking herself out of her reverie. "Why don't you try a balanced diet?"

"What's that?" The vessel blinked in the rising morning light, "Balanced Daietto… New type of Sashimi? 'Substituted art'… Ah! I know! It's visual food! Kaiseki Ryori!"

Hinata sighed, "I meant that you should eat more vegetables, Naruto. And not the boiled ones you get in the Ramen toppings, fresh things, like-"

"Ah, Kurenai-sensei went over that with me months ago. Blurgh…" Naruto stuck out his tongue and grimaced, "Took me to a restaurant and ordered a huge-ass round of greens. Stayed there until I ate Every. Damn. One. Gross, seriously."

"Naruto-kun." Hinata took a few steps in front of him, wagging her finger and balancing the load on her back. "Promise me you'll eat at least three palms of vegetables every day! I will be… I'll be… Well, I won't be happy!"

The fox-container stopped, cross-eyed from the stern digit at his nose. "Ooookay. I… uh…"

"Promise me."

"… Why?"

"Because I don't want you getting sick."

Naruto let his eyes look at Hinata's face, trying to find any traces of deception. "Why don't you want me to get sick?"

The heiress dropped her finger and fiddled with a strand on her backpack. "Why would I want you to be sick?"

The air grew tight; a feeling of constriction gripped both of the ninja on the path as the question echoed minutely off the trees. Without a word, Naruto resumed his walk, a cold look in his eyes.

_'So, what was he down with?'_

_'Well, so far as I can tell, it's not a Cryptosporidium genus… perhaps bio-engineered?'_

_'Engineered? You mean crafted?'_

_'Yeah… I don't think this kid fell ill by chance.'_

_'Are you saying that-"_

_'Somebody wants this kid dead. And with the village the way it is, it could be anyo-Shithe'sawake! Hey, Uzumaki-kun, feel better?'_

Hinata hurried up to catch him by the shoulder. "Naruto-kun, please! I didn't mean-!"

"It's not your fault, Hina-chan." Naruto sighed with a smile, steadying his pace. "So did I tell you about the time we finally got Kakashi-sensei's mask off?"

"N-no. Why did you want to? Kurenai-sensei has a photo of him with it off in her album."

"WHAT?!"

--

"Shodaime protect us, it went right through his head!"

The scene of the murder was busy, the ANBU that could be spared were already combing the surrounding area for any clues as to how the deed was perpertrated. Bushes were searched, trees inspected for tell-tale grappling marks, even the dirt had been analyzed by Hana Inuzuka's hounds. There wasn't a trace left of the unknown assailant.

"We found Shirai… poor bastard." A visibly shaken Chunin informed the Hokage, who put her head in her hands and groaned. "What a mess…"

Shirai had been found pinned by his neck to the gate with a giant senbon, the back of his skull sliced out to spray the weathered wood with grey lumps of brain, grey and off-purple coating reddish-brown.

Haitani's corpse was on the stretcher passing back through the gate. Tsunade knew at a glance that he was with the dead, living people tended to have all their arms and legs. And their head.

"We've already started checking the village. If he's there, rest assured, we'll find who did this." Ibiki's calm voice floated into her range of hearing, belying an undertone of rage. "Such a waste, Shirai and Haitani were good men."

Tsunade looked over the ground, inspecting the ground where Shirai had supposedly been standing guard. If it was that… _person_, then the scrolls she read would tell her…

_There._ It was lucky she had got there when she did, else the constantly shifting personnel and the wind would have scuffed away the evidence that now stared her in the face. The thin shift of dust at the guard post was delicately curved, almost like a Zen rock garden, raked into gentle curves and shell-shapes.

"So he was here."

Tsunade stiffened. She had come to know the faces of some of the Konoha corps and most of the voices, but this was definitely wasn't one of them. It sounded like Shizune, but the accent was pitched differently, the tone of voice uncharacteristically wooden. She turned to face the visage of her first apprentice, missing her trademark pig, Tonton.

"I assume that you are the one the Matriarch sent." Tsunade spoke, ice dripping from her words.

"Correct. She sends her congratulations on your coronation, by the way." The Shizune-but-not smiled with no trace of humour.

"How kind. What have you done with Shizune?"

"She is sleeping."

"Sleeping? Don't make me laugh." Tsunade glared at the fake as the other nin bustled around her, "Your kind aren't known for putting people to sleep."

"Only in a matter of speaking." The fake grinned, sincerely this time. "He didn't go inside before that man was killed, his essence wafts away to the paths."

"Meaning…?"

"He went in the village after the first man was killed, but not the second man."

"Recon?"

"Most likely."

Tsunade clenched her fists. "So that means…"

"He has started stalking him, yes." The stranger's face grew neutral again. "I will pursue him. I have begun to understand what his intentions are."

"He goes to murder the Fox, doesn't he?"

"No. Something… else."

"Tell me."

"No."

The Hokage felt the burst of frustration course into her fist, slamming it into the wall behind her, leaving a sizable crater. The nin around them jumped back, glancing nervously at the furious aura radiating from their leader.

"_Tell. Me._"

"I could be wrong."

"_NOW!"_

The ninja looked at the rapidly unfurling scene before them, the Hokage and her assistant who…

… Who looked like she was… melting?

The clone of Shizune fell away as a white blur vanished into the trees. The Hokage roared with fury, and was silent. Several ANBU jumped in pursuit of the quickly disappearing figure.

"They will pay… those damn… those infernal…"

--

The grove was well cultivated, but empty. Silver-white bark streaked up to the midday sky, pocked with brown splotches from the assault of bird-scratching and other unavoidables. Naruto placed his pack on the ground in the middle of the square plantation, Hinata following with a sigh of relief as her own fell clumsily to the dirt.

As Naruto kneeled down to retrieve the bottles, Hinata worked out the kinks in her back. When he bent over to fish out a particularly stubborn glass receptacle, she couldn't help but steal a peek at the lines of his back as his shirt lifted from his skin. From there, the hard planes of his flank, the tight swell of his buttocks, and the firm shape of his calves against his trousers; they all conspired her face to beam as unbidden thoughts rampaged loose through her head.

Forcing herself to focus on other things, she looked up at the slowly clouding sky, stretching upwards and relishing in the soft clicks and feelings of release from her cramped joints. She looked down, caught Naruto blinking in the gaze of her outthrust chest, and squirmed a little in her gut.

Naruto caught her noticing, and quickly turned away to the lines of bottles on the grass beside the path, coughing awkwardly and scratching the back of his head to hide the thin sheen of red across his cheeks.

"I… uh… Well, _Kage-bunshin no jutsu!_"

The plantation burst into hues of orange and black, swarming around the small locale, at times the shouts of 'Don't break them!' or 'Stop pushing!' could be heard from the horde. Hinata just stood still as the throng slowly organized itself once the bottles found their respective owners.

Finally, fifty odd Naruto's planted themselves next to each tree, a kunai at the ready.

"Hinata-chan, just say the word!" Came the call from what she assumed to be the original Naruto, lying back on a thick tree branch five metres to her left.

Hinata nodded and begun the seals, feeling the pressure build up until the sudden liberation from the weight of chakra burst a cacophony of sight into her brain. She saw the chakra lines of the clones, glowing faintly red-orange in the black background. She saw the lines of the trees, slowly rising in a symphony of indigo and aquamarine.

"Go."

--

Hinata giggled to herself as Naruto flopped onto the blanket she had only just laid out. She knew he had to be exhausted from the five hours of chakra use, his clones bursting into smoke as they packed their filled bottles of extract into the bag. If only there was a way to give him back the leftover energy when they died…

She was shaken out of her thoughts when his hands accidentally fell on her thigh, making her squeak. His eyes perked up, saw the cause of concern, gave a gasp of horrified shock and quickly pulled them back, sitting crosslegged.

"SorryHina-ChanDidn'tMeanTo!"

"Its… I-it's fine, Naruto-kun." Hinata stuttered, starting to unpack her own pack. Luckily, the steam hadn't escaped from the insulated bowl of _Mushimono_, and her specialty _Gohan_ seemed to be fine as she took off the lid. A few bags of _Wagashi_, intended to be eaten on the walk were also unpacked, along with a _Donburi_ and a thick helping of _Somen_ noodles.

"Naruto-kun, please close your mouth. You're drooling on the mat."

"S-Sorry."

As the dishes were set up, Hinata couldn't help but feel the faint shock she got every time his fingers rasped over hers, simply from passing the bowls. Nor did she miss the sporadic glances he threw in her direction, mostly focussing on her eyes but (And here her traitorous cheeks threatened to set everything in a ten-foot radius aflame) sometimes coming to rest on her rear as she got up to grab another pair of ceramic bowls.

Finally, the spread was complete. Too modest to be a feast, varied enough to be enjoyable.

Naruto picked up his chopsticks, noting the smooth coat they had, and raised them to the air in a silent salute.

"'Tadaki!"

"Itadakimasu." Hinata sighed, smiling to herself.

The meal was uninterrupted until the desert dishes came out, and a small fight broke over who got the first _Yokan._

"Ladies first, Naruto-kun!"

"But I'm tiiirrrrreeeeed!"

Hinata hmphed at him, placing her hands on her hips and giving him the most stubborn look she could summon. Naruto actually halted in his cry of triumph, solemnly handing over the sweet in his chopsticks.

"Well, hold out your sticks, Hina-chan. I'll pass it."

"That's bad luck, N-Naruto-kun."

"Pfft, superstition smuperstition."

Hinata held out her hand, Naruto obediently dropped it into her palm, turning away to sulk.

"You're no fun, Hina-chan."

A bout of coughing erupted as the shock from the statement caused Hinata to begin choking. A few hard hits on the back from the whiskered boy sent the jello sweet flying out towards the trees. Naruto gave her a small laugh in return when she waved off his concerned questions.

"I'm fine, Naruto-kun." She gulped, trying not to pay attention to their sudden closeness. His hand was still rubbing her back.

"That's cool. Hey, you know what would be fun? We should feed each other, since you seem to kill yourself when you feed yourself!" Naruto joked, nudging her in the side with his fist.

Hinata gulped again, feeling the monster blush rise from the depths of her chest. Taking his suggestion completely seriously, she took a sweet from the bag with a deft nip of her chopsticks, navigating them to in front of Naruto's mouth, holding her breath.

He blinked, looked from the chopsticks to her, to her hands, to the chopsticks again, and opened his mouth, expression confused but eyes hopeful.

The sticks when in, his lips closed over them, giving a little sucking noise as they were withdrawn.

The silence in the coming dusk was broken only by the soft sounds of chewing, and the quickening heartbeat of both the occupants of the grove.

Naruto swallowed the sweet, licking his lips and leaning closer to Hinata, moving his fingers into the bag by her leg to withdraw another sweet.

"W-was it… delicious?" Hinata gasped.

"Yeah…" Naruto breathed out, holding the candy closer to her lips, slowly leaning in to gaze on her own lips. She could see the vapour on his exhalation in the deepening chill, could smell the salty tang from the dishes they'd consumed together, could feel her own hands slowly come up to grab the fabric of his jumpsuit…

Then the world went black.

--

"Hinata? HINATA!!"

Naruto looked around for whatever had blurred past, striking her head as it went by. By her unconscious body lay a flat river pebble, tossed from nobody knew where.

He turned, keeping his senses open to find the hidden assailant; he could almost feel the presence, feel the being of…

"Behind you."

Without thinking, Naruto turned.

He saw shadows, a grinning mask of white teeth and silver eyes, grinning in the coming gloom. It raised a single finger, solemnly.

More shadows rose from the ground before he had a chance to react, suffocating him, restraining him. He twisted as best he could, trying to run from the constricting nothings that robbed his air.

Eventually, his head felt light from the lack of air, and he fell to the ground.

_Not like this! No… not like… No… no… no…_

_Hina-chan…_

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_The more you review, the more likely that you will see the next installment. Click the button, it doesn't kill you._


	14. NaruHina: Collection Pt 3

_First attempt at an action chapter. Be gentle, please._

_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

"… Taking into account the Elephant seals, the double-rank pulsing indicates a later incursion on the seal's matrix…"

Hinata's conscious blurred, a grey fog surrounded the words of an unknown person. A faint humming sounded from around her, an attempt to move her hand met with only unfeeling resistance.

"… and that definitely isn't his work… Seriously, father, what did you do to get sucked into helping that idiot Namikaze!?"

Straining to open her eyes, the Hyuuga princess groaned and gave it up for the moment. Her skull was screaming at her, possibly impacted, definitely a bruise judging from the swelling feeling on her forehead. She could feel a weight on every part of her body, the tension on her throat constricting her breath.

"… what made you become the lifelink, father? What made you think to leave us behind?"

The voice was young, deep and strained towards whiny. There was a rustling of grass, some way in the direction of her legs. She took stock of her position, spread-eagled against the…

… against the nothing. She couldn't feel the ground; her body was floating in midair. She tried to twist her torso, but met with still unyielding resistance and an increase in the shrillness of the buzzing.

"Ah, you're awake."

The rustling of the grass drew closer, clumping on occasion when the footsteps hit the dirt clods by the willow. She felt the presence, the tiny hairs on her arms prickling as she felt him stand before her.

"Hmmm. _Mefuin: Kai_."

The pressure on Hinata's eyelids fell, and her opaque pupils gazed upon the blurry world. The first thing she saw was a swirling cloud of shadows, wafting around a humanoid shape in the middle of the maelstrom. She looked over to her right, a glowing circle spreading out from her outstretched limbs and connecting to her joints by glowing threads hummed and throbbed in place.

She flexed her fingers, or at least tried to, as the threads constricted and glowed red the buzzing increased, dimming when she tried not to move. Her eyes swiveled back to the cloud of darkness.

"Like it? That was the last jutsu my father taught me before he left on conscription to Konoha. The full-binding circle jutsu, the Obakusougu. If our beloved matriarch had chosen some lesser member…"

Hinata would have rolled her eyes if her breeding and conduct were not her own. The words _Spare me your rambling_ would have begun to line up, if she hadn't seen the body of Naruto hanging vertically in a larger, far more elaborately crafted circle-seal roughly ten metres to her left.

She had never seen so much blood.

From a strange spiral design on his stomach, concretic lines emanated outwards and flowed over his flesh, his life dripping red onto the grass beneath him. Apart from a pair of black shorts, he was naked with the carved rings in his body curving and rounding and turning into some surreal piece of art. Puddles of red liquid were pooled underneath his feet, plopping every few seconds as another drop splashed into their tiny lakes.

Her eyes widened, her face drew thin through equal parts horror and abject rage. The man noticed her look, turned to look at her target, and nodded his head.

"Yes, the fox keeps him alive. I simply put him through a few… tests." The teeth smiled again, the featureless face seemed to grow smug. "You know, I think I'd like to hear your voice, little girl."

"_Koefuin: Kai_."

The pressure on her throat loosened, and a gasp of air sounded through the clearing.

"W-what… did you do to him…" She stuttered, choking from a close call with air deprivation.

"I did? Oh, nothing I haven't been through myself. Nothing… _unfair._" The man growled, and part of the shadows drew back to show a number of scarred lines running down his arm. "Your little vessel put me through this, because father never came home…"

"Vessel?" Hinata moaned, the pain in her forehead growing intolerable.

"The Bijuu. The Jinchuriki. This boy, powered by a demon king and the death of two men, is the vessel of Kyuubi." The man spoke simply, turning away to look at Naruto, "No longer."

Hinata blinked, slowly breathing and trying to take in the information.

_Kyuubi no Kitsune._

_Onimou._

_Vessel._

_Monster container._

_Uzumaki Naruto._

"N-no… Naruto isn't… he never…" Hinata mumbled to herself, "He… why? I never… n-never knew…"

"That's right. He is a good person, even we are hearing stories about this boy… killing the Red Dawn, taming the Tanuki; even beginning to master the sage arts. Quite a wonder… quite a boy… even has a bridge named after him…"

"He never hurt you… he never hurt anyone without cause… why are you doing this?" Hinata decided to play the despairing female and think of a way to cancel the seal. It responded to her physical movements… what about chakra?

"Oh, it's no grudge against him in particular, I'm just fighting destiny."

"Destiny?" Hinata gently pushed a little of her bodily energy out into the strings, watching them glow an even brighter shade of blue.

"Yeah. Oh, and don't bother with the ninja stuff, I've calibrated the seals against your muscular limits." The smug air came back to the man, who leaned forward a little.

"Those eyes… I've heard about them… the Pyuuma, yes?"

"Hyuuga." Hinata spat, trying to come up with a plan against the holding mechanism.

_Limits, bodily limits, there has to be a way to turn that around… he seems confident about its capablities…_

"Hmmm. The assassination contracts said there were three active nin in the family, two girls and a prodigal son… the older girl is the heir…" The man held out a shadowed limb, Hinata felt her blood race in disgust as he cupped her chin and twisted her face around.

"Oh, _yes_. Three ransom prices, coupled with the body return… this could be profitable…" She squirmed inside at the twisted desire on his voice, "The eye-price, the noble-price…" His voice turned husky, "The virgin price… You'll be worth a lot, I feel."

"I will kill you for what you have done." Hinata said, simply. Gone was the nervousness, the traces of fear. This man had harmed Naruto-kun who had already suffered so (And she shuddered at the new-found knowledge that even she hadn't realized the extent of his pain) and was beginning to inspect her like a second-hand horse.

She no longer felt for the shadowed man.

"Big words, but I'm sure you'll see things my way in the end. So wait right there, little miss. I'll deal with you soon."

As he walked away, Hinata raked her brain for any technique that would allow her to bypass the restraints.

_Genjutsu? No, I can't force chakra out… use a tool? I can't move. There has to be some way!_

_Right, think. I can't force chakra out… can I force chakra in? What good would that do? It would just pass through my skin…_

_Chakra… in. The seal restraints are set to my body's limits…_

Hinata saw him stand in front of the hanging body of the man she admired.

_What if the limits were gone?_

Hinata felt the memory of her training with Maito Gai flash into her forebrain. She felt the weight at her side that told her of a still-full weapons satchel.

_Yes… to protect my precious people…_

"You."

The shadowed man turned. "What?"

"I have three words for you."

"What, 'Please spare me'?"

Hinata shook her head, a grim little smile appearing over her face.

"Initial Gate, Open!"

--

Several kilometers away, a white blur moved over the trees and stopped in a haze of smokey-silver, gave the impression of listening, and made out at a slightly different angle.

The location was now confirmed.

--

Hinata grimaced as the strength poured into her muscles, straining until the bindings turned red and snapped in an instant. As soon as her feet touched the ground, the circle-seal around her faded into nothing.

The shadowed man slowly backed away in caution, noting the determined look in her pupil-less eyes as the Hyuuga heir rose from her now-defunct prison, hair curving around her shoulders as the wind picked up. Slowly, deliberately, she assumed the traditional fighting stance, arms low and ready to intercept and counter.

Her opponent stood still, no longer backing away. His expression was unreadable, clouded by the dark wisps that played across his face.

"I have never battled a Hyuuga."

There was something in his voice as he spoke, cold and yet somehow enthusiastic.

"Pray you do not disappoint. I have a habit of breaking toys when I am bored."

Hinata did not even dignify his boasting with a reply, but withdrew a pair of kunai from her holster, throwing them at the man's feet. He did not move, but a pair of shadows rose from the ground and swallowed the knives as they moved.

The heiress gave a triumphant little smile, and charged after them, throwing yet more kunai ahead of her. The shadows leapt out and swallowed them whole.

_As I thought…_

Ten feet away from the man, Hinata sprung to the left and made a seal in midair.

… _His shadows are similar to the Kazekage's defense techniques… and have the same weaknesses._

Her fine chakra control allowed her to substitute the small metal weights on the ends of her kunai with the explosive tags that she grabbed from her pants pocket. The small globes that held the knifes suddenly burst into a pyroclasm of flames, knocking the man back as Hinata once again ran forward in pursuit of his body, chakra already flowing into her palms in anticipation.

"Byakugan!"

The world suddenly showed a beautiful clarity. She felt already exhausted from the continual checking of Naruto's clones, but if need be, she could… but where was he?

The man was no longer there, but traces of chakra pointed deeper into the woods. Hinata decided to try and secure Naruto and monitor his vitals until the man re-emerged, something safer than charging blindly into a location filled with obstacles.

She slowly took a step back, wary for any counterattack from the trees.

'_Onichi: Rendan!'_

Snaking out of the crooks and crevices of the trees came a plethora of shadowy tendrils, each arcing and earthing through the willows like shaded lightning. Hinata's extended scope of vision picked out the origin of the onslaught; the man was hiding behind a tree and working seals at a furious rate.

She took stock of her options. The strands were moving too fast to outrun, and too numerous to avoid, but it seemed they would all strike her at the same time.

She nodded to herself, waiting until the last second before the tendrils struck, pushing out chakra from every pore of her body and spinning herself on the spot, lowering her stance.

"Kaiten!"

The world around her shuddered into a blue blur as she continued the heavenly spin, feeling the slight tinglings of opened flesh as the odd tendril managed to endure the rush of grinding chakra and sliced along her body. She pushed out a little more, and the wisps burned away from the energy, leaving nothing but a hint of smoke.

Her spin stopped, and she watched the man form another circle, thrumming with unknown purpose.

"No."

Hinata pushed the chakra from her feet, pushing more chakra out from her fists to plow through the tree that the man had hidden behind. The look of frustration on his face was surprising, but the expression of agony as her right hand came around in a wide arc and launched him into the air more than made up for it.

As he reached the plateau of his mini-orbit, she jumped and prepared to bombard him with yet another technique until she saw that his circle now covered the ground below them, growing as wide as the clearing until it halted at the edge of the treeline.

The man gave her a wicked, triumphant smile as she drew up to him.

'_Onichi: Tsunami!'_

The shadows had left his body, and she was surprised at his similarity to an older Brother Neji in the Chunin exams, the eyes were a shade of grey, the cruel, refined features and the arrogant smirk. The hair was shorter, but still in a brown ponytail.

The shadows had left his body. And Hinata now knew where they resided.

_He distracted me to set up the giant seal below!_

The aforementioned seal exploded with a dark torrent upwards, a massive cascade of shadows swarmed up to meet her as the man fell back to earth, caught by another sphere of darkness as the rest volleyed up towards the Hyuuga princess.

"Only one way to survive this…" Hinata shuddered, but forced calm upon herself. Steadying herself against nothing, she somehow managed to perform the extended Kaiten that she had derived from her Trigrams of Protection.

Now… she had to draw the lines of force…

_The shadows were coming closer…_

Reposition the chakra overlay…

… _they promised to kill her slowly, from the feet up…_

Find that hidden pinnacle of strength…

… _no mercy, they would offer no mercy…_

Force it out…

… _Already they were touching her foot…_

Allow it in…

…_Covering her chest, making for her mouth…_

It was done.

… _Choke her, choke her!_

"Kyuten!"

The air around her spun like a top, transforming itself into a blue-white globe of interlacing lines that pulverized the black ichors into nothing. She felt a jolt when the sphere expanded into the man's own body and began pushing him into the dirt, crushing his form into the dust as the protective orb growing out from her body continued to turn.

Finally, she felt she could no longer continue the attack, and cancelled the technique, falling limp and slamming into the ground from the moderate height.

For a while, she simply lay in the freshly churned dust, exhausted from extended and acute chakra overuse. No birds sung, scared away by the destruction of the landscape. The only sound was the pounding of her own heart and the gravelly sound of tumbling rocks.

And there, only barely audible over the noise of her body, came the echo of a man staggering to his feet from the other side of the crater.

"Nearly got me… Hyuuga girl… nearly got me…" He breathed, slowly advancing on her prone form. "Caught me off guard with your tricks… but not this time…"

Hinata's mind screamed at her body to move, but nothing responded.

"… This time, they ain't getting' nothing back… not your eyes, not your body, not your hymen, not shit." He growled, Hinata could see his eyes, insanely widened in adrenaline and pain.

"You got nothin' left, Hyuuga girl. But I think you've still got it in you to scream… so where are those three words, huh? You got something to say?!" The man spat, saliva flecking from the corner of his mouth, standing over her with murder plain in his eyes.

Hinata saw Naruto's body, drenched in his own blood and disgraced beyond comprehension. She thought of the stares he had been given, she thought of the prisoner she now knew he carried within him.

And she knew what she had to say.

She no longer feared for her life.

"Rest Gate, open!"

--

The white blur wove through the trees at the forest's edge, and jumped to land on the path. She noted the two sets of footprints, and set off. She was close, she knew it!

--

The Hyuuga princess felt her body respond to the rush of energy that she had released, letting her legs scythe out the man's own from underneath him. Reactiviating her Byakugan in the haze of movement that brought her standing up to face him as he fell, she felt the rage overwhelm her.

"You are in my field of Hakke." She intoned as the man jumped back to his feet. She pushed out chakra from her right hand, striking his chest from below and lifting the man a metre into the air.

"Ishou!"

She opened her stance, sliding her right leg behind her and twisting underneath the airborne enemy to strike him on the chest as he fell with both hands.

"Nishou!"

He moved a little further upwards, a shockwave emanated from his back at the blows, bugging out his eyes. Hinata let another volley of blows fly.

"Yonshou!"

He was properly airborne now, but Hinata had to reset her stance, and resolved to push him higher to give him the time.

"Hachishou!"

There! He has high enough to reposition her legs and give her a full field of Hakke, bending and flexing and striking as he fell back on top of her dome of influence, burning blue as the fast strikes leaked chakra.

"Jurokushou!"

She pushed her body to supply a little more force into the palms of her hands, and it complied. She felt the strain on her muscles as they began to degrade, but she couldn't let this finish, not yet…

"Sanjunishou!"

The final hit launched the man into the air to fall head-first to the ground. Hinata felt like time had slowed down as she watched him descend in front of her, his eyes filled with a horror not uncertain.

She bent over forwards, and let the chakra spikes fly from her hands, mulching his internal organs.

"Rokujuyonshou!!"

The resultant force blew the man and the scenery around him away, carving a trench roughly twenty metres long away from her.

She staggered, feeling the exertion catching up with her, but ran over to him anyway, to check that her foe was truly dead.

He wasn't, although it was obvious that he would be soon. The left side of his chest was caved in, his right arm pointing the wrong way from two different positions, and a massive gash in his abdomen revealed the white-purple rope of his intestines.

Still, he reached out his unbroken hand to her.

"Take… take care of him…" He coughed, blood pouring from over his teeth. "My father… my father died… making that seal… and his… died… to acti… vain… don't let it… be… in…"

The hand fell, and the man's eyes glassed over. Blood no longer flowed from the many cuts on his body.

Hinata felt sick as the corpse faded into shadows, wafting and bringing the smell of carrion, but at least the threat was finished. Her fatigue, however, was now catching up. As she cancelled the limit break on her muscles and stamina, the full extent overwhelmed her mind and blew away her waking mind.

And so, for the second time that day, Hinata Hyuuga passed out.

_aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_

_Maybe I should actually put this in as a standalone chapter... your thoughts?_

* * *


	15. NaruHina: Collection Pt 4

_Thanks to everyone for the reviews. Now, the revelations! _

_/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-_

Naruto awoke to the sound of birdsong, the ever-present twitter of the Fantail filtering through the thin gauze curtains and lulling him almost back to sleep again.

_There was a man, with a face like the sinister wrath of a Demon King…_

His forehead prickled, and he reached up slowly to scratch the itch, his arms stiff and too tender to strain. A little tug on his forearm and a fresh twinge of agony directed his questing fingers to the IV above his wrist.

_And he talked with the Monster inside…_

He winced at the discovery, and the slowing growing headache. The sun was shining too bright for comfort through the curtains, but the cool softness of the sheets was a small relief against the throbbing that pulsed through his chest.

_All he could do was listen as a man and what was once a man conversed about everything and nothing._

He sighed, trying to clear his head of the strange memory-dream-whatever. Sooner or later…

Wait.

Curtains? Sheets?

Where the hell was he?

Naruto strained his hearing to pick up the tiny sounds that came from around him. There was the clinking of glass, the thousands of tiny vibrations from footfall, the breathy hums of human conversation.

'_Is the boy safe when he sleeps, venerable one?'_

The tingling in his fingers suggested electrical wires or a wild magnetic wave. The former was more likely, and hinted towards civilization. That, at least, explained the sheets and other comforts.

Damn, but the headache sucked!

'_**I am not the Sand-priest. He has no protection aside from power. Truly, the miserable humans could have protected their investment a little more soundly.'**_

The last memory he had was of the shadows, rising from the ground and halting him as the teeth gleamed in malice. And then…

Then what? He scrunched his closed eyes in concentration, still taking all the information he could without opening his unhelpful eyes.

'_So… what, that's a no?'_

Everywhere on his body ached with a slow, relentless pounding, but something else was jumping in the back of his head, waving for attention.

But what was it? Concentrate…

'… _**and you were the best they could send?'**_

Ah. The IV. That meant a medical facility. That usually meant a village, which meant that it was a fair chance he was back home in Konoha.

Enough time spent resting in the hospital left the location of the nurse-call button firmly imprinted in his brain, he reached behind him, above him, making a whimper of pain as his exhausted muscles screamed from the exertion.

'_Well… no. But I'm expendable. Anyway, thing is…you know how your vessel has a little value to us…'_

After what seemed like an eternity of agony, he pressed down on the button, letting his unhooked arm flop back to his side. Breathing with a little more force than was acceptable to his pained ribs, he felt the bile rise from his stomach, his spit tasting sour as his body reacted to the stress and prepare his gut to begin heaving.

There was a click in the doorway, and soft steps clicked into the room. The rustle of cloth and disturbing of air followed the trail of the new arrival, sounds echoing around the room as their owner moved to Naruto's side and checked his pulse.

'_**Are you going to assign bodyguards? Ah, how the mighty have fallen…'**_

"Welcome back, Naruto." The voice smiled.

"Sa…Sakura-chan?!" Naruto coughed, letting a thin smile turn up his lips, "How did I…" He coughed again, feeling the nausea die down as his teammate's healing hands settled his system. "How did I get here?"

'_Yes and no. We're… shall we say… staging a little test. Make the boss of his village send him out of the village through misleading information, check out his team… Yup.'_

He heard a sigh, felt the vibrations of a chair being dragged along the floor, felt the healing hands touch around his neck and flood his system with benevolent chakra. "That's what I'd like to know, Tsunade too. You and Hinata turned up bleeding and unconscious at Gate 15… and our diviners didn't feel anyone else enter through the detection seal."

"Hinata-chan… is she okay?" Naruto groaned, the headache now really infringing on his mental processes.

'_**Hmph. You're entrusting my safety to that litter of weaklings?'**_

"She's… stable." Sakura hesitated. Naruto could see her turning away from him in the theatre of his mind. "Naruto… we did the best we could, but…"

His heart froze. Hinata had stood by him through his first steps, had been one of the only people he knew who could see him for what he was when everything else seemed against him. He should have done something! Why couldn't he save her?!

Why was he still so damn weak!?

'_Antsy little Maho-ya, ain't you? Not to worry, I'll give the one with him a little trial._'

"Sakura, what's wrong with Hinata?" He asked, hoping that this time at least, he hadn't lost yet another friend. He dropped the familiar suffix to assure his friend that he was in all seriousness of knowing.

"I… you see, it looks like she overstrained herself…"

'_**Speak to me like that again, and I swear you will regret it.'**_

Naruto tried to keep his wits together as Sakura injected him with a light cocktail of painkillers, rattling off about symptoms and theories and medical details that he really had no clue as to their meaning. That alone sparked his brain into overdrive; Sakura only reverted to speaking Jargon when she was really worried about a case.

'Perambulatory neuritis' and 'Psychosomatic damage' caused him only confusion, as did 'Chakra-coil constriction' and 'Cerebellum protein-matrix warping'. He found, however, that the words 'Already recovering from a severe concussion' and 'Overstressing her injuries' held no secrets from him.

The word 'Coma', however, was something he fully understood and hated the sound of the second he heard it.

'_Point taken. So, about that seal on his stomach… taking into account the elephant seals…_

"Hinata-chan…" He whispered, slumping against the mattress, teeth grinding in frustration. "Shit!"

He couldn't take any more; his vision swam with red from the heavy sunlight coming from the window. No longer would he wait and lie and suffer in bed.

Naruto opened his eyes, and saw the light at last.

--

It was the same room that he had woken up in at the days leading up to the second round of the Chunin finals. This time, though, his feet were almost falling off the edge of the bed and his midarms could reach the sides. The wallpaper was unchanged; the soft contours of the room lent a nostalgic air to everything.

Naruto really didn't give five flying piles of Bijuu shit either way; he needed to know if he had failed yet another friend.

"Naruto-baka! Bed! NOW!!" Sakura roared, pushing his chest down as he struggled to get out of the confines of the tight, crisp sheets.

"But she could be dying!" He cried out, flailing and reaching out to grab something for leverage against the super-strong woman pinning him against the bed.

"She. Is. Not. Dying!" Sakura growled again, punctuating every word with pushes. Eventually, Naruto's normally endless supply of energy ran out, and he fell back into the pillows, breathing hard.

"Naruto, you can trust me with her, okay? She's my friend too." Sakura reassured him once she had calmed down. "What's with you, anyway? You were this close to ripping out your IV." She cocked her head, a little apprehension dawning as he jerked his head away and sulked.

"Ohmygod, you _like_ her?" She whispered, a smile teasing her face.

Naruto's reaction killed those hopes. "No, why would I? We've only talked, like, seven times in my entire life. I just want to know if she's okay." He grumbled, "I mean, she's a hard worker and everything, but… I really don't know her that well. _You_, on the other hand…" He trailed off hopefully.

"Told you before, not going to happen." Sakura shot back coldly, unamused. Her features softened a little at his eyes, looking like he'd been slapped.

"B-b-b-but… you look at me, don't you? I-I mean, we've been teammates since forever, we've known each other since preschool… we _dated!_" Naruto whined, his once permanent smile slipping into a mournful grimace.

"Look, Naruto, about those dates…" Sakura started, ran the words over a few times in her head, and nodded to herself. "… They were what dates were supposed to be."

"You mean romantic and cool and stuff, right?" Naruto's eyes brightened again, hoping for a line of compliments likening him to a Ninja Casanova.

"Uh… no. Look, Naruto, do you even know what a date is for?" The pink-haired medic sighed again, sitting back heavily in the chair as her blond teammate settled himself in the rustled bed.

"Yeah, it's when you go and talk and walk around and do fun stuff and kiss, right?"

"That's… one type of date."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, puzzled at the new information.

"There are dates where you try to get to know a person, and there are dates when you like a person and you want them to start liking you, and there are dates when two people like each other and just want to spend some time alone together." Sakura explained, while Naruto nodded his head.

"See, it'd been two years, Sasuke-kun hadn't come back, I was bored and tired of training and… well, you'd come back and you were tall and confident and mature… or, at least, you seemed it." Sakura closed her eyes and tried to picture it. "And then I thought, 'hell, why not?' and went on a date with you. That didn't mean I liked you, Naruto."

"You went out with me for pity?" Naruto's eyes were actually beginning to tear up. He'd been so _hopeful_.

"Nononononono." Sakura held up her hands to try and set things right. "It was just… I thought that maybe you were pretty cute, and I could actually like you as more than a friend, and I wanted to see if, you know, there was that spark."

"Was there?" Naruto blinked again. "You mean, you went out with me to see if you did like me?"

"No, and yes." Sakura patted his head. "You were pretty crazy, Naruto. You showed me your world, your favorite things to do and the people you were friends with; but you didn't really show me you."

"But… it was me, wasn't it?" Naruto was scrunching his forehead, "I mean, even when we were alone…"

"Look, it's complicated, okay? I mean, I just… I didn't feel like I liked you that way, there wasn't a spark for me. Don't get me wrong, Naruto-kun…"

She smiled at him, and he gave a timid smile back.

"…I love you like hell. I'd cry for months if you died, and I'd bring flowers to your grave every day, and I'd even name my first kid after you… but I don't _like_ you."

Naruto was silent for a few minutes, processing the implications, and then his face sunk. "You're not going to give me that 'lets just be friends crap', are you?"

"Pfft, nah. We're already best friends for life, right? We've got a promise to keep." She held her fist in front of her, in the traditional 'Guts!' stance. Naruto followed suit.

"So how about I fetch you some ramen and we can talk about what happened on the mission."

"Yay! Wait, what about Ba-chan?" Naruto's cheer regained control at the mention of Ramen.

"She's busy, apparently." Sakura sighed.

--

"And that's all I can remember." Naruto spoke between slurps, Sakura alternatively taking notes and dodging wayward splashes of Ramen broth

"Yeah, we checked your blood and chakra samples and found traces of something like the shadows you mentioned, but it dissolved the minute we isolated it in the lab. I think Shishou knew something about it, but she wouldn't say anything and just shouted at people when I asked."

"What do you think it was?"

"I don't know, Shizune was analyzing the stuff when it just… vanished."

"Yeah… you ever heard of a Jutsu with solid shadows?" Naruto fiddled with his chopsticks, trying to dislodge a tricky piece of tonkatsu from the side of the bowl.

"I asked Shikamaru, and he said that our gatherings hinted that the shadows were alive, and had nothing to do with his Kage techniques. It kind of looked like they were living in your flesh, but not eating it." His comrade sighed, holding a hand to his chest to check his lungs for excess fluid.

"So it was some kind of parasite, like Kikai bugs?"

"I don't know. I mean, it could be anything. But Hinata-chan has a few in her bloodstream too, so we'll have to quarantine you both."

"Sucks. Hey, did ol' melons get the willow extract okay?" Naruto perked up, "I mean, it took ages to get that crap out."

"Yup! Good thing too, otherwise you'd still have a headache." Sakura pointed at the syringe that injected him with the painkillers, "That stuff was the second batch we produced."

"What happened to the first batch?"

"Tsunade-shishou's hangover remedies." Sakura grunted, "Honestly, you can't expect to run a Ninja village when you're half drunk five days a week."

"Better than if Kakashi-sensei were in charge." Naruto pointed out, "You can't sign paperwork with both hands occupied."

"Huh?" Sakura frowned, "I don't get it."

"One hand on Icha-icha…" Naruto mimed, "The other under the desk, choking the chicken. But at least he'd have to take his mask off to get the Hokage Monument up."

"Na-ru-to…" Sakura fumed, eyes going into their fabled inner-Sakura 'MURDER-DEATH-KILL' mode.

"Ah, ah! You know what would be even worse, though?" Naruto put his hands up to shield himself from the oncoming wrath, "Gai as Hokage!"

Sakura paused, snorted, and actually held her sides as she imagined the Green Beast in a Hokage robe. "Holy hell, that's awful!"

"I know! Think of his face on the Monument!"

They both laughed.

"Think of the changes to the ANBU uniforms!"

They both cringed.

"Think of him becoming Konoha's most eligible bachelor!"

They paused, running that idea through their heads. They both suddenly felt very, very ill.

"I don't think that'll ever happen. I've got too much on my plate as is. I mean, I've things outside work, too."

"Oi, Sakura…" Naruto piped up again, "Does that mean you're dating anyone? Like, for real?"

"Naruto!" Sakura smacked his forehead, "That's a personal question! And where the hell did that come from?"

"What? Can't you tell me?"

Sakura huffed and folded her arms. "It's… really embarrassing. My mum would kill me."

"Oooooooooh. This _has_ to be good." Naruto grinned, bouncing on the bed, "Tell me! Tell me!"

"You swear not to tell anyone?" Sakura shushed him.

"Promise of a lifetime!"

"Okay… um… Okay, this might come as a bit of a shock, but I'm dating Shi-"

"Sakura-Oyasha!"

Sakura and Naruto started out of their little chat to look at the Medic who had burst into the room.

"Yes, Yumi-san?"

"It's Hyuuga Hinata, her condition…!"

"I'm on it. Naruto, Stay. In. Bed. Trust me, please!" Sakura urged him as he began to rise. He looked like he was about to disobey, but finally bowed his head in defeat and watched as his crush left the ward.

"Shit."

Things were not going Uzumaki Naruto's way.

--

In a place where the willows stood, stood something not a willow.

A young woman, too cloaked in a haze of white to bear witness to features held two circles in her upturned palms. It had been three hours lugging the cataleptic outsiders back to their village, returning, and beginning the siphoning process, and her brain fizzled with irritation.

The circles turned, and massive clouds of black mist swirled in from the trees, the ground, everything that was alive or somehow growing. The circles themselves began to grow until they turned dark as the coffee of an espressophile's wet dream. She placed them together, and a man stepped out of the strange fold in space.

"Well?" She asked. Her voice was normal, monotonous. Her assumed gaze, however, could pierce steel.

"I think she passed. I made up some sentimental mumbo-jumbo on the spot to twist her up a little." The man shrugged. "We'll see if she really has the right stuff."

"Techniques?"

"Punched two holes in me, cut off my chakra, nearly turned me into bonemeal. Pretty good, for an outsider." The man sniffed, rolling his shoulders.

"Think father would be pleased?"

"The hell would I know? The man loved seals so much he died to become one. Then that damn Yondaime killed himself to activate the damn thing. Who knows what those idiots were thinking about."

"Us?"

"Pfft."

"Good point."

"You can release the trackers from their blood, now."

"Don't have to bother; they should have disintegrated by now."

They looked in the direction of Konoha, then at each other.

"Now what?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You know, when I was there, I saw this snake chick with really big boobies."

The aftermath to the resounding kick that his balls received could be heard for miles around.

--

"I thought this was an emergency?!" Sakura moaned as she checked Hinata's vitals.

"Well, you did say you wanted to be informed of any changes." The nurse bowed apologetically, hovering uncertainly over the medical prodigy and debating whether to leave or not.

"Well, at least she's out of the coma. I don't know how long she'll be sleeping, though. Take another blood test, and shift her to ward 5a, I'll handle her from there." Sakura gave orders to the woman a decade her superior, sure in her authority as the favoured student of the Hokage. Who said power didn't have its advantages?

"Hai, Oyasha."

"And stop calling me a doctor, I'm a medic!" Sakura groaned aloud as she left the room.

"Ah, hey." A voice called out to her in the corridor, and a muffled oinking from waist height gave the final clue.

"Hey, 'Zune. Tonton." Sakura let out her breath, "How'd it go?"

"We checked it out. Big craters everywhere, blood, ruptured trees… Hinata put up one hell of a fight, if I'm any judge." The other apprentice of Tsunade nodded her head, "But I've got the report copy, if you want. Maybe this will open his big fat head."

"Be nice." Sakura pushed at her senior, pausing to scratch Tonton's ears, bringing a chorus of happy 'Buhibuhi!' from the pig. Snatching the scroll, she scanned the contents.

"Hell. How'd she do all this?" She whistled, impressed.

"It's not the question of how, as for who for." Shizune pointed out, resulting in Sakura's mild blushing.

"You know, I'm kinda happy about it. Maybe if Sasuke hadn't been there… But no, Hinata, she… I couldn't do that to her." She replied when Shizune pried.

"Well, you're happy now, right?" Shizune tapped her foot.

"Well duh. I mean, come on, you know how I feel about the whole thing!" Sakura laughed again, Shizune joining in.

"Yeah. Well, go tell him the news, Sakura. And tell me how he took it; I wanna hear every juicy detail!"

"Heh, I wonder if I'll have to club him over the head with it…"

"Oh, hey, Sakura…" Shizune called out as the Genin walked into the ward.

"Yeah?"

"Um… You're okay with this, right? I mean, with the whole…" Shizune stopped the sentence, feeling a little awkward.

"Look, I was going to tell him anyway. Actually, I was just about to. He would have found out on his own, eventually." Sakura shrugged, gave a brief smile, and disappeared behind the door.

Shizune chewed her lip for a second, and walked away.

"Was it a good idea, telling her…?"

--

"She… did this?" Naruto blinked at the details, in particular the quadrant sketches of the damage to the surrounding area. "I mean, she was really tired when we finished, and then…"

"She opened the gates, Naruto."

"Gates?" Naruto drew in a shocked little breath. "But wouldn't that… you know… kill her?"

"It almost did." Sakura spoke bluntly, trying to be as patient as possible. Let him figure this bit out, her mind said, let him come to the conclusion that somebody other than myself is willing to _die_ for him.

"Even Lee's not supposed to use that jutsu…" He shook his head, "You're only supposed to only use it to protect your precious… people…"

Sakura could see the cogs working inside his head. It took all her will to not squeal in adoration when his face suddenly turned as red as Hinata's.

"W-why am I… I-I…"

"It's a good feeling, isn't it?" Sakura laid a hand on his shoulder, "Knowing that there's a person who feels so strongly for you that she's willing to risk her life to save yours."

"B-but… Hinata… Hinata-chan doesn't…"

"Doesn't what? Doesn't know what to say when you're near, in case you won't like her? Doesn't want to look weak in front of you? Doesn't want you to ignore her? Doesn't want you to die, or be alone, or be hurt?"

"…" Naruto let the scroll fall from his hands.

"Naruto…" Sakura touched his hand, jerking him back to reality. She could see tears of pure frustration slowing forming behind his lids.

"Why does she like me?" Naruto whispered, "I'm not Hokage yet. I'm not even a Chunin."

"You can ask her yourself, she came out of the coma not ten minutes ago."

"She's awake?" Naruto tried to push himself out of the bed in a rush, only to be restrained by Sakura's hands once more.

"No, she's still sleeping. But we're putting her in here, I'm sure that you two have… a lot to talk about." She got up, making for the door. "Go to sleep, Naruto. You have to rest, you know."

"Yeah…"

--

"So what happened to his scars?"

"I think he just healed over them. You know, thanks to… _it._"

"Why did he have them?"

"Who knows."

--

In fits and starts, Naruto fell into dreamless slumber. When he came to, moonlight was streaming through the window, the curtains yet to be pulled over the beams of mellow white that painted the ward in surreal colours.

He turned over in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position, when a snuffle from the other side of the room awoke his attention.

A second bed now graced the far corner, squares of light fell upon dark lines of indigo hair, outlining the hollows and curves and the slender figure underneath the sheets. Eyes peacefully shut, arm bracing her head against the pillow, Hyuuga Hinata slept on. Her nightgown spread over the mattress, testifying to a tossing slumber.

Naruto felt his mouth go dry, and willed himself to swallow. For a few minutes, he lay there, watching Hinata's lips gently open and close with her silent breathing.

"Ne, Hinata?"

No response. Naruto slipped out of bed and snuck to the side of hers, looking closely as if to see if he could understand the workings of her mind from her slumbering visage.

"Hey, Hinata-chan." He whispered. He didn't care that she couldn't hear him. "Sakura-chan said that you… kinda saved my life. And… uh…" He scratched the back of his head, "And that you like me."

"But… you know, I don't… I don't know if I… I don't really… Shit. I don't know. I mean, it's a lot to take in."

He looked around the room, hoping to find the inspiration to fuel his one-sided conversation.

"Cause, I mean… I'm not handsome. Sasuke and Neji had all the fangirls… Kiba too, but different ones. And I'm not smart, either. I'm not smart like Shino or Shika or Sakura, and I do all these dumb things and I don't know why, and I don't know what you'd see in a guy like that." He mumbled on, glad he could spill his insecurities, even if she was asleep.

"Then there's the fox… and I'm an orphan. You're, like, a princess. You're the heir of the biggest clan in Konoha, you're tough and strong and still really nice…"

"_Is it… delicious?"_

"_Yeah…"_

He stopped as the memory washed back. "When you fed me that wagashi, I really wanted to… well… kiss you. You looked really shy, and really cute, and I wanted to kiss you because I thought it would be funny to see you blush like you used to…"

He let his hand touch her forehead, telling himself that he was only checking her temperature.

"… And then I thought, 'Hey, I missed seeing her blush'. Then I thought 'I kinda missed you, Hinata', and I was going to say it when that bastard knocked you out and choked me. Now I keep wanting to kiss you because you're really… really pretty."

He felt a strand of hair slide over his hands, he tucked it behind her ear and then began running his fingers through the shimmering tresses that fell down the back of her head.

"And I don't know why I'm thinking this so fast, because I think I've always known you were pretty, but I guess I never thought that you'd like a guy like me… you called me a proud failure, and I thought that you liked me for that, but you still saw me as that, a failure."

"But you like me."

Naruto watched her serene appearance as the moon highlighted her sleeping face.

"You like me."

Naruto repeated himself again, unable to believe it. "You really like me, don't you?"

"The blushing, the hiding, the smiles…"

His eyes wandered over her eyelids, her forehead, her small nose, trying to avoid it but eventually his attention came to be focused on her lips.

He couldn't help it; his hand was behind her neck, steadying him as slowly pulled himself towards her. The faint, red-edged mouth enticed him, drew him closer as he closed his eyes.

"Hinata…"

He let his lips graze over hers, savouring the warmth of her breath as she exhaled. He pressed a little closer, trailing over her mouth with a faint wetness as his heartbeat picked up, turning to enjoy the subtle flavour that was the girl who admired him.

"Why… do you…"

He mumbled against her lips, trying not to shed tears as the years of self-hate and confusion finally caught up with him.

"… want me?"

He stopped the kiss, drew back and began to pull his hand away from the back of her hair when he noticed three things.

One: Hinata's other hand was clutching his pajama top.

Two: Hinata's eyes were wide open.

Three: She was crying.

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_Tell me what you want next chappie, and t'will be done._

_Maybe._


	16. NaruHina: Collection Pt 5

_Eh, I'm not sure about this chapter. Need feedback! Review!_

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_So silent… I can hear my heart beating, can hear the snores of the patient by me… but I cannot wake up._

_I feel… tainted._

**Ah. Hyuuga. You have awoken.**

_Ahhh! Who? Where are you?! I cannot see! Show yourself!_

**Ha. It would be a little superfluous to present myself if you cannot see, hmm?**

There was music. She could hear a thousand tiny voices, slowly pitching and joining into a harmony larger than any orchestra could hope to achieve. It was a choir, but the voices were not human, too thin and ready, but there were so many that she couldn't tell the difference from volume.

_Do not toy with me! I am Hyuuga Hinata, and my mind is my own! Leave this place at once!_

**Ah ha ha!! Truly, you have fire now. No wonder my brother was so quickly defeated, though neither he nor you were fighting at your peak.**

_If you wish to combat, I warn you that I will suffer no trespass._

**Ah, worry not. I am not here to propose pain, nor hardship, nor wrath. I am simply here to elucidate your position in regards to the boy.**

_The… Naruto-kun? My position?_

The music trilled and hit a plateau, a line of 'Asha-asha' sounded from the distance. The voice began to slowly work itself until a white, blurred form showed itself in her mind's eye.

**Aa. You are not the only one with an interest in him, although ours stems from more… platonic terms regarding his prisoner. That your emotion burst through even the pain that consumed you, enough to successfully protect the vessel-**

_Do not call him that! He is Naruto Uzumaki, not 'vessel', and most certainly not 'monster'._

**Ha; good, if they called things like that a monster, it means that the outsiders are truly out of touch.**

_He isn't a thing, either!_

**Even in your own mind, you protect him. I think we made a good choice in you.**

_I don't understand. Choice? What for?_

**Aah. The boy is slowly losing his battle with the beast within him. His isolation, his troubled past, the corruption of his prisoner and his very body is beginning to have a serious effect on his psyche. **

Hinata felt the blur waft away, until the figure began to have a solid outline. It wasn't curved, but the shape of the body and the alignment of the hips hinted at a female. A pair of white eyes burned itself into the darkness as the music slowed in tempo.

_Is Naruto-kun sick?_

**Ha, In a way. No boy, powerful or otherwise, can suffer so much without having to degenerate in his mental stability. When his mind goes, so will his internal controls, and the demon will come forth again, and all of the trust father placed in your Hokage would be in vain.**

_He seems fine… he has suffered much, I know, but…_

**Aah. But you have seen the times when his mask falls, and his sorrow shines through.**

_Yes. I want to quell his sadness, more than I can possibly bear. It pains my heart to see him hurting._

The eyes began to grow into a face with a small nose, wild hair and black lines rippling around her chin and neck. If it were not for the lines, Hinata could well believe that she was looking at a younger Inuzuka Tsume.

**Ha ha! And that is why we have chosen you, Hyuuga Hinata. You will be the shield against his despair, his light, his hope, the protector of the protector. We have judged you worthy. **

_Why do I need you to judge me? I do not know you, your clan or what is the point of this entire ordeal._

"Ne, Hinata?"

**Ah, your charge has awoken. As for why… I cannot say. I only ask that you repeat these words to your leader: 'I am just, or I am dead.' **

The Hyuuga heir felt the rustlings of fabric and the soft footfall to her left. Eventually, she felt the air move as somebody knelt beside her.

_He's right beside me!_

**Aah. I have said all that I need to say. Until the next time, Hyuuga Hinata.**

"Hey, Hinata-chan."

_Oh god oh god please let me wake up I want to see his FACE._

"Sakura-chan said that you… kinda saved my life. And… uh…"

Hinata could feel the presence behind her eyelids fade away, and her brain was alone once more. The music was over, but she was not in the mood to figure that out, she found that everything was background to his voice.

"And that you like me."

She felt her breathing nearly stop. Her eyelids were beginning to flutter, but she held them down. She felt it almost wrong to listen in to him like this, but…

"But… you know, I don't… I don't know if I… I don't really… Shit. I don't know. I mean, it's a lot to take in."

_Please… please, Naruto-kun, Why is it so hard for you to see me, to see how I feel?_

"Cause, I mean… I'm not handsome. Sasuke and Neji had all the fangirls… Kiba too, but different ones. And I'm not smart, either. I'm not smart like Shino or Shika or Sakura, and I do all these dumb things and I don't know why, and I don't know what you'd see in a guy like that."

_Can't you see? I said… I said that when I saw you, that intense feeling in my heart… it never left, no man could compare to you in my eyes…_

"Then there's the fox… and I'm an orphan. You're, like, a princess. You're the heir of the biggest clan in Konoha, you're tough and strong and still really nice…"

Warmth blossomed in Hinata's chest, but her heart broke to hear the still-strained hints of pain coming from the boy's mouth.

"When you fed me that wagashi, I really wanted to… well… kiss you. You looked really shy, and really cute, and I wanted to kiss you because I thought it would be funny to see you blush like you used to…"

Hinata was beginning to feel tight of breath, she had to me dreaming, but gods, if she never woke up, she could live with that. He wanted to kiss her!

"And I don't know why I'm thinking this so fast, because I think I've always known you were pretty, but I guess I never thought that you'd like a guy like me… you called me a proud failure, and I thought that you liked me for that, but you still saw me as that, a failure."

_No! Nonononononono!_

"But you like me."

_Of course I do!_

"You like me."

_Don't hate me, Naruto-kun! _

You really like me, don't you?"

_More than I can say, what can I say? I'm no poet! I just want to hold you, to be held by you…_

"The blushing, the hiding, the smiles…"

_He noticed! Heknowsheknowsheknows!!_

She felt an arm slide behind her neck, pulling her away from the bed. She couldn't help but shiver at the feel of his breath over her face, and she opened her eyes to see him lean into her.

"Hinata…"

She felt something smooth glide over her lips, and her entire body seemed to run with wild lightning when she realized just what he was doing.

_Kissing me…!_

Her eyes began rolling to the back of her head as the intensity of her emotion began to hurt inside her chest. Without knowing, she gently slipped her left arm to grab the front of his hospital coat. He tasted of watermelon, and wheat, and something unidentified that made her wish beyond anything that she'd have more opportunities to find out later.

"… Why do you…"

She felt his lips shape the words, and tears began to form as she heard the insecurity in his tones.

"… Want me?"

He drew back, and she couldn't help but make a disappointed noise in the back of her throat, or the first few tears to spill from her eyes.

For the first time, it seemed, she saw him truly looking at her. He looked frightened, almost terrified that she had caught him kissing her in her sleep, and she couldn't help but blush as his hand covered her own as it grabbed harder on the fabric of his top.

For a few seconds, they simply stared at each other, Hinata's tears ceasing to flow as her determination grew. Naruto's face began to soften as she showed no sign of indignation or violation.

"Hinata…" He trembled as she brought her other hand to cup his cheek, rising from the bed in defiance of her tired muscles. She felt her heart race at the feel of his warm skin against hers, felt her resolve increase with his breathing.

"How could I not want you, Naruto-kun?" She breathed, pulling on his shift to slowly drag him towards her. "How could I not see how amazing you are? How hard you try, how you put others before yourself, your simple heroism…"

She felt his hand give hers a tentative squeeze as their torsos touched, and she threaded it under the folds of his robe to touch the bare flesh of his chest, marveling at her own boldness. The surprise she felt was nothing compared to the look in his eyes as her lips pressed against his cheek.

"Everything I did, every time I made to become stronger, whenever I searched my heart for answers, I saw your face. I saw only you, Naruto-kun. I wanted only for you to be happy, even if I couldn't be by your side."

She felt his hand softly rise through her hair to hold the back of her head as he bent over her. In a sudden movement, he moved his legs onto the bed, earning a squeak of pain as his knees ended up against her thighs. The clumsy movement didn't seem to affect his purpose, though, and Hinata felt something give in her throat as she found him on his knees, an arm behind her back bringing her upright to be held against his chest. His arms surrounded her back, and he buried his head in her shoulder.

"I'm so fucking sorry."

Hinata gasped, shaking her head and cupping his cheek again with her right hand, running her left through his hair.

"I should have told you earlier."

"I should have noticed!"

"Shh, it's fine, it's alright. I'm… I'm here. For you. Always." Hinata stroked the back of his neck with a finger, nearly jumping out of her skin as he made a noise somewhere between a growl and a moan.

"Sorry, ticklish." Came the embarrassed reply.

"Really?" Hinata couldn't help but smile. "Is there anywhere else? You know, so I can… protect them?"

"You'll have to find them yourself." Naruto joked half-heartedly, a little exhausted from his injuries and the emotional ping-pong. He didn't feel up to anything, except…

"Hinata?"

"Yes?"

"I…" He gulped, and she pulled away just far enough to look at his face, a curious mix of excitement, apprehension and fear across his features.

"I… do you want me to… can I…?" He sounded lost, blinking in the full intensity of her gaze.

She didn't bother with replying, but just flung herself forward at his face, eyes closed and lips open.

In hindsight, she realized that keeping her eyes open may have been a good thing, else she would have seen that she was aiming too high and instead of the passionate liplock she was hoping for, she collided with him in a painful headbutt.

"OW!!"

"Oooh… Naruto-kun! I'm so sorry!"

"Ah… I guess that's a no?" Naruto rubbed the front of his head. He started as a damp warmth spread over it, slowly working over his skin and the reddened bump. Hinata's body had slunk out of the sheets to crawl over him, kissing his forehead and sliding a hand to continue stroking his chest.

Hinata didn't know what had overcome her, maybe it was the years of frustrated need to be acknowledged by him, or the tentative trials of her own hormones, but her body made up its own answers. She made a hungry noise deep in her chest when Naruto found the crook of her neck and began slowly kissing it himself. She stopped her ministrations to concentrate on the suckling, feeling the pressure burn deep within her.

She didn't know what had caused it, one minute she was making murmured whispers of affirmation to his tasting, the next she had slid down his prone body to force her lips onto his, demanding the world to prove that it wasn't a dream. The taste of his saliva, ever so slightly salty and hinting of musk began to mingle with her own. It was something other than lust that drove her to bring her hands to encompass his bare back, clenching against the firm muscle at bringing one choked breath after another from her lungs.

In return, she felt a hand lose itself in her hair, she opened her eyes to watch as his half-closed lids began to shut themselves in concentration. His other hand lightly crept underneath her shirt to caress the small of her back, and she felt she could trust him enough not to attempt to get fresh with her undergarments.

Was she wearing undergarments? She couldn't tell, and didn't care.

The kissing began to deepen as his tongue made a quick trail over the edge of her lips, prompting a deeper probe as she opened her mouth in invitation. Gently, almost timidly, she felt his tongue meet hers in the cavern created by their sealed lips, dancing lightly against each other in fascinated experimentation. The heated air rushing from their nostrils began to break through their hearing, and Hinata suddenly broke off, almost panting from the exertion.

Naruto gazed up in bleary confusion, head muddled from the pheromones.

"I… I just can't believe…" Hinata gasped, a smile on her face, "That… I … That I'm not dreaming."

"Hina-chan…" Naruto groaned, his frustration growing evident as she found out that her rapid seating position had landed her on his crotch. She 'eeped' in response and retreated to the far side of the bed.

They watched each other, almost daring the world around them to interfere. Finally, Hinata spoke once more.

"I'm not going to lose you again."

"I promise to you, I won't let that happen." Naruto nodded, sitting up and reaching across to hold Hinata's hand.

"Are you sure?" Hinata gave him a peck on the cheek, drawing him to sit beside her. She rested her head against his shoulder, watching his face as the moonlight streamed in.

"Promise of a lifetime."

They sat there, to tired to continue what they were doing but too hopped up on adrenaline to go to sleep.

Hinata ventured that at least they could sleep together, and after noticing the extreme blushing going on with Naruto, emphasized the 'Sleep' part, giving him a 'Please don't misinterpret me as a fast woman' look as his nervous chuckle broke the silence.

Finally, after many stops and starts, they managed to snuggle together under the covers, trying to find the most comfortable position. Neither of them were used to body parts cutting off the circulation, so they settled for holding hands.

A few minutes of that, and Naruto began to feel drowsy, cuddling more towards Hinata and slipping an arm over her shoulder.

"Ne, Hinata…"

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" Came the groggy reply, apparently Hinata had difficulties staying awake.

"What would you have done if I'd never come around?"

"Hmmm…" Hinata pretended to think, "… For starters, I would have needed a club and some rope…"

She fell asleep to Naruto's laughter, a smile on her face and a warmth in her chest.

She could return the Iron-shod club to Tenten tomorrow.

--

Morning broke, and two figures entered the ward.

"Awwww… isn't that _cute?_"

The two patients were curled up in each other's arms, one snoring gently as the other murmured in her sleep.

"Sparks ideas, huh Sakura?"

Sakura gave the person next to her a sour look.

"It's not even the third date, and you're already trying to get into my pants. Sheesh." She bitterly mumbled, punching the other person in the side.

"Hey, I've already wined and dined you. What more need be done?" The other's tone was jokey, and Sakura's frown vanished.

"How about some romance?"

"I get off my shift at seven, is that okay?"

"That's perfect."

The two checked the vital progression of both patients with their skin-deep chakra probes, nodding to themselves.

"They're doing really good."

"Yeah, I'm happy for them." Sakura nodded.

"You think… you think it could become the same… with us?" The voice sounded slightly worried, but Sakura laughed and the happy expression returned.

"I hope so, Shizune. I really do."

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_What now? And come on, Shizuka would be HAWT._


	17. NejiTen: Belief

_Sorry it's been a while, I've been working on other stories and had a lot of lectures and feeling discouraged.

* * *

_

There are things that Hyuuga Neji still believes in when it comes to fate. He believes that his cousins will make the clan proud, he believes that Uzumaki Naruto is definitely going to need some help when he becomes Hokage, if only for administration. He believes that birds can't fly if they have their wings clipped, but that some birds were never meant to fly at all.

He believes that green tea is made to be savored, and that good cream is almost expensive enough to not be wasted on stray cats. Almost. He does it because plump cats do not chase after the pigs that were being fatted up for the spring festival.

He believes that Gai should _shut the hell up_ when he mentions in front of their teammates that he caught the Prodigy cooing and stroking many homeless kittens in a touching Youthful display. He believes that his teacher should die a painful death when he relays his excuses, and die again when his Sensei notes that cats were not known for chasing pigs.

He believes that Lee has a genuine, likable laugh; one that is very easy to laugh along with provided that the humour was not something entirely trivial. He believes that Tenten's laughter makes it hard to concentrate, or frown, or do anything until the echoes die away.

He believes that sunflowers should not be left to grow until you need to use an axe to get rid of them. He believes that his teacher is too loud and his rival is too accepting, he believes that his eldest cousin's Inuzuka friend has a strange tendency to scratch at his ears like he has paws, and that the Aburame is far too secretive to be up to any good.

He believes that his cousin will eventually attain the idiot boy that she fell in love with, and he believes that she is an idiot for not simply buying him a bowl of his favorite noodles. He believes that while Hanabi would make a stronger leader, she would not make a calm one, and would be better off as a ninja, rather than her sister.

He believes that Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji are all fortunate to have found hobbies that play to their strengths on the battlefield. Ino and her poisonous flowers, Chouji and his girth, Shikamaru and his precious meditation.

He believes that the Uchiha may come back if he gets hit in the head hard enough, he believes that Naruto _will_ make Hokage (Or rather, he hopes that he will), he believes that Sakura is a very hard-to-read girl, even with the Byakugan. He believes that the resemblances of the past do not have to fix the present, although his father mentioned at a family dinner that he suspected the Uzumaki to marry a kind Kunoichi with long hair, as his father did.

He does not believe Hinata when she chokes at the above statement and says that it is nothing; he does not believe that he chuckled when Hiashi, in a rare display of humour, mentioned that the Yamanaka girl had been growing out her blonde tresses for a while. He does not believe that he scowled when Hiashi broke the mold again and pointedly asked him whether his own teammate had long hair underneath her Chinese-styled buns. He does not believe that Hanabi had to giggle under her breath, or that Hinata had to give him an optimistic smile.

He does not believe that that had anything to do with him subduing Tenten in a heated Taijutsu training match the next day and pulling the pins from her hair, only to watch it clump and tangle in itself and not cascade in a brown waterfall like he had thought it would. He does not believe that he had been caught off guard by this, and that Tenten must have had some strange seal set on her rear that delivered a forceful blow to his groin.

He does not believe that he ordered her to make up to him for such an undignified attack. He does not believe that he asked her to treat him to dinner, and he certainly does not believe that she accepted with poor grace.

He believes that when she wants to be, Tenten turns from an attractive, confident girl into something _luscious._ He believes that a simple crimson dress with a pair of slim shoes and a casual jacket should not make him gulp and sweat and order pitcher after pitcher of cold, _cold_ water when they take their seats at the restaurant. He believes that Tenten doesn't do anything so vulgar as _eat_ food, she damn well makes love to it.

He believes that the way she absent-mindedly nibbles on a long piece of Tempura may or may not have something to do with all the blood rushing away from his brain.

He does not believe that she is finished in repaying him once she picks up the tab, he does not believe that she is justified in her irritated sigh and rolling eyes. He does not believe that switching to warm Sake halfway through the meal may have been a bad idea, and he certainly does not believe it affected him when he spun her around as she walked to the door of her house and forced his lips onto hers.

He does not believe that she never mentioned anything about them before, but now he begins to understand why.

He definitely does not believe that she looks shy and uncertain when they break apart from the impromptu kiss, he does not believe that he can remember exactly what he said to her, but the words 'Always' and 'Have you?' and 'Marry me.' stick out. He believes that he laughed the moment her jaw dropped and she grumpily reminded him that he hadn't a ring, and that the Hyuuga were going to be growling at him for not doing anything traditionally. He believes that, in their little world, that was a yes.

He believes that nowadays, ten years and three children after that day, he still can find ways to make his wife melt.

He believes that when she asks him why he didn't use the wonderful gift that fate gave him after he refused to activate the Byakugan to look for his keys, that he was right in waiting for her to actually find them right behind her. He believes that answering 'I just did.' Was probably the only romantic thing he had ever intended to say.

He believes that watching her smirk at him for using such a cheesy line was worth it when he sees the softness in her eyes.

Neji Hyuuga believes in a lot of things, and he is in love with all of them.

But he loves most the woman who believes in him. That is enough faith to make him forget that there is anything wrong in the world, that there is a reason to be confident in what he does.

He believes in Tenten, and he never lost that confidence.

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_Mnuuuurgh. I need ideas..._


	18. NaruHina: Muggy

It was evening in Konoha, and Naruto found that being trapped inside a windless, cramped office with no form of air conditioning was the closest thing one could get to hell without involving murder or Sakura's cooking. His white robes, another legacy of the Yondaime's, stuck to his collarbone and arms with the accumulated sweat of the afternoon. Several granite jugs, once filled with ice-cold water now sat in the corner deprived of their contents and neglected after they were unceremoniously thrown into the corner.

His imagination, starved of sleep and sluggish in form convinced the newly-elected Hokage that the heat was so intense that it was forming a mirage over his desk. His eyes scrunched with the effort to keep focus on the contract papers in front of him before he gave it up as hopeless, moaning with the effort of slacking his head into the chair. He turned a lazy eye out into the soft orange of the dusk, watching a pair of fantails flit around his windowsill, catching the gnats that tried to nest under the eaves.

His gaze started to rest on the outline of the village that he had loved since his birth, stopping at the horizon of trees that stretched away to the Northwest, towards the Village of Hidden Rain. In a strange turn of events that he himself didn't understand, Sasuke had managed to wrest control of the Akatsuki base over to his side of the bargain, destroying the puppet control of his Uchiha ancestor for the first time in what may have been a century.

Sasuke wasn't coming back, that much was certain. However, Naruto had enough clout and knew how to pull strings well enough to revoke his Missing-Nin status. His brother would visit, sure, but the majority of the village made sure that he did not conceive himself welcome. Defamation graffiti'd on the Uchiha residence, cold glares and just-audible mutterings behind his back. To his credit, Sasuke was cordial enough with his old comrades, but he gave a rather definite impression that he considered his new home… well… _home._

Naruto shook his head. He was not likely to start down that dark path again, not after he'd seen what the melancholy his moods brought on did to everyone around him. Drinking, gambling, even the odd 'special' tobacco that Asuma reputedly tried in his youth until the Narcotic-enduced haze lost him a teammate; Naruto had tried them and had not seen the concerned looks of his friends until Sakura had dragged him from a drinking den in full view of the public and beaten him senseless in front of Ichirakus.

Nope, for the whiskered ninja, he was direct towards the straight and narrow. He began to settle into the back of his seat, squirming around to better fit his body into the creases of the leather, grunting with contentment as he found a happy medium in the warm fabric. He closed his eyes, trying to picture something cold, refreshing, restful…

_Like the waterfall where that girl danced… seriously, what a dream…_

"Na… Naruto-sama?"

Naruto's brain kicked into bleary overdrive, noting that the lack of the title 'Hokage' meant somebody on familiar terms, but the respectful suffix, the shy, timid voice…

"…Hinata-chan, 'M busy…" He murmured into the seat, keeping just enough sense of mind to avoid drooling on the cushions. He waved a hand tiredly towards to desk, not looking up as he buried his face in the backrest. "Leave it on the counter, no letters promising how they can improve my sex life in twelve easy payments…"

"Naruto-sama?" The voice sounded puzzled, nervous, amused. Naruto tried to ignore the sound and concentrate on a power nap. After a minute, he felt something tug at his sleeve, trying to get his attention. He ignored that too, and the huff of exasperation that followed it, and the sigh of resignment after that.

"What makes you think I am here to add to your paperwork, Naruto-sa-" She began, slow and deliberately weighting her words to avoid offense. Naruto briefly wondered just how dangerous the internal politics of the Hyuuga house had become after his forceful Kinjitsu-classification of the Branch Seal, but fatigue quickly washed it away.

"Please, Hinata, we've been through this enough. Name is Naruto, Hokage-sama in front of foreign delegations, Baby-poos in front of people who want to see me embarrassed." He interrupted, turning his head again when his breath warmed the leather to an uncomfortable temperature.

"Baby-poos?" Hinata was silent for a second, before Naruto could make out tiny, patterned sounds of somebody straining against laughter. He smiled; it was good to know that somebody found him funny, at least.

He felt her draw the chair opposite his desk closer, before a slight creak of the floorboards informed him that she now occupied it. The rustling of paper as she looked through his correspondence was strangely soothing as he felt his cheek cool; the sun having set just below the horizon in the short time.

"You aren't adding the figures correctly for the Meditation rooms, Naruto-kun." Hinata tutted to the sound of more rustling. "You've jumped the rows twice, and I think you swapped the date with the fifth entry on the Ledgers…"

"Nnmph." Naruto grunted, wrapping his arms around the back to find a cool spot.

"… You've put the amount for working wages in the Administration column, the estimates on patrol utility claim that it would be more efficient if a hundred men stood on top of the tower and screamed 'Please don't invade us, pretty please'…"

"It would work, though… nobody wants to invade little ol' Konoha…" The Hokage mumbled, rubbing the back end of the chair.

"And the letter concerning the latest import tax arrangement consists of… what is this? It looks like a song sheet… 'Why Uzumaki is so great'?"

"We need a national anthem…"

"Naruto-kun, stop slouching in your chair and look at me." Hinata ordered, or at least tried to. Her voice slipped from a command into a quiet plea, and the hopeless desperation in her tones prompted the fox-boy to unglue his face from the moist leather and turn his head slowly to face her.

He was glad that he wasn't the only one the heat had affected. Hinata's round face was gleaming with sweat, streaked with dust from the roads and the occasional piece of grass. While she seemed to be a little unclean, her clothes had taken a more hazardous beating, covered with a gunky white paste (Naruto nearly had a heart attack at the image, thinking she had been indecently assaulted) that clung to her Jounin vest and track pants. The mesh that went up to her elbows was torn in places, giving the impression of a hard-fought battle.

"Uh… hard mission, I take it?" Naruto asked groggily, watching with curious eyes as she turned her head from the intensity of his gaze and began twiddling her hands after she put the accounts back on the table. "In a way." She finally admitted, "I had just finished cooking."

"You had to cook? Hinata, I know you abandoned your title to Hana-thingy, but don't you…" Naruto left it off there, not willing to prove how little he knew. Truth be told, he didn't even know what the once-heiress had been doing with herself once she had forsaken her birthright…

"I did not take any servants to my apartment."

_She lives alone?_

"Ah, that's a relief, no idiots bringing you mail guaranteeing to double your sexual conquests, right?" Naruto cringed even as he finished the joke, only to see Hinata raise her hand to her mouth in a scandalized giggle.

"I did not think that being Hokage would make one a target to such… promises. And what snake-oil are they offering, Naruto-kun?" She managed after the giggles had stopped, although she still would not look at him, smiling at something outside the window.

"Don't know, they wouldn't help anyway. Double of nothing is still nothing." He grumbled, and cursed himself as he said it. Hopefully Hinata wouldn't discover what he had just let slip…

"So Sakura was wrong after all, Jiraiya-sama did not teach you Pimp no jutsu?" Hinata mused quietly to herself after a moment of thought.

_Crap! She did!_

"A-a-a-a-anyway, did you want something?" Naruto hastily turned the improvised meeting on its head, away from the subject of his love life, or lack thereof. He straightened himself up, and mentally checked the possible reasons why Hinata would want to see him. In the twelve years since she had graduated from the academy, she had become one of his favorite go-to Nin, even though her personal life remained shrouded in mystery.

_She wants to transfer._

_She's pregnant and applying for leave._

_She's taking up her title again._

_Akamaru needs his shots, and Kiba's afraid of needles…_

_Shino's pissed about the levied tax on bug spray…_

_Hanabi needs a restraining order._

_Neji needs a haircut. Now that's an S-ranked mission if I ever saw one._

_Haishi wants her to wear the traditional Hyuuga robes._

_She's requesting a top that isn't strained so much._

_She's asking to break out of her top._

_She's asking to wear only fishnet…_

…_Boobiesboobiesboobiesboobiesboobiesboobiesboobiesboobies…_

"I wanted to know if you need some time off work."

"Huh?" Naruto jerked out of his little 'Think' and payed attention to the face that held the large white eyes. He was a little ashamed about letting his hormones take control for a minute, but so what? He was a man, and Hinata… in her modest clothing, her long hair strewn with grass, her soft voice and gentle face…

_Huh. She's… not bad. Not bad at all. I mean, I've known she was attractive, but… yeah. Huh. Weird. Don'tlookatherboobs. It's just I've been busy. Too busy to date. And she's my subordinate. And I'm sure she's more into Kiba than me, I mean, they've known each -don'tlookatherboobs- for a while. I mean, nothing came of me and Sakura, but maybe it worked out for boobies. Them! Those two! I meant them! Kiba and Hinata! Boobies! DAMN MY TESTICLES!!_

"I was wondering if you wanted to go on a picnic? I'm just asking because I made a little too much for dnner and I have a spare bottle of Chi and the Plums are blooming and I wanted to thank you for the bonus and-"

"Whoa! Time out, this is free food!" Naruto held up a hand, stemming the babble and suddenly interested, "I'm freakin' hungry and I need to get out of here and you have food!"

He grinned, and she looked over at him for the first time. She blinked in the wake of his cheer, and let out a pleasant laugh as he waggled his eyebrows. "And your paperwork?"

"I'll… uh…" Naruto looked around, formed a seal and covered the desk in a puff of smoke, before a cry of despair from below and several muffled curse erupted from the floor below. He winked and muttered about how delegation was such a wonderful thing under his breath.

"Paperwork? What paperwork?"

Two minutes later, the door had closed on an empty room at the top of the Hokage tower. Five minutes later, something exploded. The picnic was on to a good start.

_To be continued._

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_There's something new on my profile, a new poll and a link to something cool at the bottom. Go there and make me happy! And don't forget to review!_


	19. IbiSaku: Stress and Oil

_This is just a copy of my story from the 'Mismatched' archive, dedicated to crack pairings. Show you support by visiting _CPU _on my favorite authors list and reviewing the stories of the other guys as they come in!_

_

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"Hey, you know, if you squidge it together like this, it looks like a bunny."

"Holy crap, you ain't kidding! Try it like this… Panda!"

"That's not a panda, Ino, it's a mouse."

"Panda, forehead-girl!"

"Mouse!"

"Panda!"

"Mouse!"

"Ah… A-actually, it rather looks like…"

"If you say a fox, Hinata, we are legally obliged to hit you."

"Oh, sorry…"

"Like you two are ones to talk, you kept looking at me and Hina when the Panda-slash-mouse debate shot up."

"Eh, whatever. Let's see if we can see Sasuke in this. Tenten, what do you think?"

"Move it around a little."

_Rub rub rub_

"That's Kankuro's puppet, definitely. You can see the crazy eyes here, here and here."

"Shit! Temari! You're early!"

"I got off early today. So, how goes the destressing?"

"It's a damn sight better than popping bubble wrap."

"Yeah, just get a little oil and…"

"Ooh, scented. Right! Let's do this, girls!"

"Not just yet, it's Hina's turn now!"

"Y-you can have my turn if you want, Temari-san. I'm not very comfortable…"

"Normally I'd be worried for you, kid. But today? I'm gonna rub me some-"

"Stop! Roll up those sleeves, they tend to tickle."

"Oh, right. Hey, Sakura, is this even legal?"

"We got special permission. Consider this payment for a lost bet."

"Cool, now…"

_Rub fold squidge_

"Now, that's a woman…"

_Rub rub_

"That's a house…"

_Rub rub_

"That's a bird…"

_Rub rub_

"That's a bee!!"

"It looks like an empty milk bottle from here."

"Tenten, have you been inhaling weapon polish again?"

"I'm just saying."

_Fold rub rub_

"Hey, guys, check it out."

"It looks like a pair of peaches… Or a…"

"Hey, it's a couple of smokebombs!"

"The Byakugan."

"Nah, that's Kakashi's ass in a towel if I ever saw one."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"What?"

"Just… nothing. Seriously, Sakura, what the hell?"

"I don't get it. What's wrong with thinking a perfect pair of round circles looks like my ex-teacher's ass?"

"Try _everything._"

"It is a little strange, Sakura-san."

"What? Hinata has a crush on Naruto, Ino is a pig-"

"Thanks, forehead."

"-anytime, Temari has crazy hair, so does Tenten. Naruto is loud, Shino is quiet, Kiba smells of dog, and my teacher has a sweet ass. Still sound so bad?"

"Yes."

"Yup."

"Damn right it does!"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"So anyway, I reckon if you work it like this, you can make a pirate flag blowing in the wind…"

--

Sakura breathed out as the last of her friends walked out the door of her apartment, promising them that they would have a repeat next Saturday, conditions willing. Humming to herself, she entered the living room that smelled of hand oil, where a sulking Ibiki lay on the sofa, topless and scratching his back from where the oil had itched into his skin.

"Morino-kuuuuuuuun…" Sakura trilled, walking up with a ready towel to wipe off the excess. He looked up, grumpy.

"Sakura, honey, this is the last time you make me lie down and let your friends make figures out of my head scars."

"But Ibiki! It's fun!"

"No buts! That's it! I don't care if it helps them relax! Nobody plays Pictionary with the Torture specialist of Konoha!"

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_The next actual installment will arrive sometime tomorrow. It's the final part of the InoGaa I'd started halfway back. Oh, and remember to join up to the 'Billy vs Snakeman' area by clicking the link on my profile!_


	20. GaaIno: Clay, Sand and Water Pt 2

_Okay, I lied, maybe this might not be the final chapter of the InoGaa... but happy new year, anyway!

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Ino watched the desert moon from the top of the Administration tower, marveling at how the collective vapor from the warm bodies below her made it look like somebody had forged the sky and stars from frosted glass. After three months of working as Gaara's secretary, the Kunoichi still found things in Suna that left her breathless; the sheer pleasure taken in running along the smooth ceramic buildings left her panting in some unknown cove among the ventilation chimneys almost every week. Her precious flowers didn't grow here, although the yearly monsoon left the sands transformed into a miasma of blooms from the latent cacti, making them all the more precious to her.

She shivered, and instinctively drew herself further into the blanket. The hardened clay that she sat on was still warm from the day, but the air had turned unbearably chilly once the night went full swing. Pausing to take a sip from a lukewarm cup of coffee beside her, she looked up and tried to remember the position of Lupus in the sky, trying to understand Tenten's fixation with horoscopes and the like. She could understand how the practice evolved, since the stars and moon were more or less reliable in times, but the idea that the time the child was conceived having an impact on personality was a little beyond her.

A grain of sand tipped from her bench, and she smiled to her right, catching the Kazekage in mid stride as he walked silently towards her. Clearing her mug from the only other space, she nodded as he accepted the invitation to sit and slumped down awkwardly, hands drooped between his legs.

"Busy day?" She asked, patting his leg. He turned his ringed eyes to face her and nodded, silent. She continued on, shaking her head a little to get more blood to her brain, not noticing the way his gaze lingered on her hair.

"You know, I think Kankuro would like to delegate for a couple of weeks, let you have a break."

"He hates paperwork." Gaara confessed, "He's only doing it because he's worried about me. Not to mention that the elders would call Nepotism into suspicion."

"It's not a promotion, he's just taking up the less important stuff, like the D-ranks and Academy reports." Ino reminded him, feeling her arm trace up the side of the unresponsive man's robe to rest on his shoulder, slowly kneading the tense muscle underneath the red fabric.

"If you can explain that one to the Elders and actually convince them, you're more a genius than the Nara." Gaara chuckled, holding back a groan as she massaged out a particularly strained knot. They continued on in silence, Ino having a little difficulty giving a backrub with one hand and drinking coffee with the other.

Eventually, the rubbing stopped, and Ino withdrew her fingers back into the coarse wool blanket, trying to conserve as much warmth as was possible.

"A drop for your thoughts."

Ino jumped at the sudden question, no, _demand_. Gaara wasn't looking at her, more rather staring directly at the moon with an intensity that she couldn't help but gawk at. Pulling herself together and biting her lip, she contemplated something that would probably end the conversation there. It was too nice, sitting in silence, to let a simple platitude get in the way.

"Horoscopes. I know they're bogus, but I can't help but feel there's something to them."

"There is. There's a grain of truth in it."

"No kidding?" Ino blinked as Gaara flashed her a rare smile, one that she found he only used when he was given the chance to teach somebody something. To be fair, though, she'd only caught that smile at her, maybe he was just trying to be friendly?

"No. The time of birth denotes what foods would have been in season, and what the mother would have eaten during that time. Not only the nutrition of the baby, but the ease of access to certain proteins and foods can alter the mental growth of the brain." Gaara used a finger to direct the sand that had blown in since the balcony had been last cleaned, forming a circle with twelve notches. "In winter, with the longer nights and lack of mammalian prey, fish would have been the food of choice, as well as foods that kept well, like potatoes."

"I see." Ino nodded, wondering why Gaara had taken an interest in this himself. Was the Kazekage suspicious? Did he touch wood, wear a horseshoe around his neck or avoid stepping in the cracks? That was blackmail material, sure enough…

"And then there are the activities performed while the baby's brain is forming. In Summer, the clan would most likely emigrate if it was nomadic or begin toiling the fields if they were a community. That could mean different jobs and laxities on the new mothers, and so therefore-"

"I get the drift, Gaara-kun." Ino sighed, giggling when he flinched at the familiar suffix, "So how do you know this stuff?"

"We're a desert people, Ino. We were delving into astrology, maths and chemistry centuries before your people did." He replied, looking rather smug as he did so.

"Oh really? If your people were so smart, how come we're at the same technological level, hmm?" Ino teased, but she knew the answer even before the word left the Kage's lips.

"Trade."

"Let me guess, you traded ideas for food."

"That's a very simple way of looking at it, but yes, we did have difficulties sustaining our people and our cities when the Dry season ran too long." Gaara nodded, impressed. "In return, you offered some of your ideas to us in return for more luxurious goods."

"Konoha? Good ideas?" Ino scoffed, not entirely proud of her homeland, "The best idea we ever had was to form up the Torture and Interrogation sections, all the Kami know we use them a helluva lot."

"Steel."

"Huh?" Ino turned back, meeting with the Green eyes again, biting her lip once she caught herself staring again. She made up her mind to end the conversation quickly and get the boss indoors; he was burning up around the face from the cold.

_Waitaminute, isn't it the other way arou-_

"Konoha has very, very good steel. The Blast forging techniques are probably more valuable then any five S-rank secrets you could care to mention. In addition, the Iron sand around the Kabashi shore is very poor grade, and-"

"Gaara, stop."

"Why?"

"You're babbling. You don't have to tell me so much, you know."

They both sat in silence for a moment. Ino looking at her hands, cupped in her lap over the blanket, Gaara staring at the moon again with a distant expression. After a good ten seconds, he spoke again.

"I was trying to impress you."

Another ten minutes, this time with Ino's face slowly heating from the possible implications.

"Did it work?"

It was a while before the Kunoichi was able to respond, clearing her throat several times until she felt confident enough in the stability of her voice. She glanced at him, noticing with a tinge of guilt that he was copying her posture, looking very small as his eyes played on the short fingers that curved over each other.

"I'm… impressed, but not because you're so informed, Gaara." She blurted out, regretting it immediately. If she hadn't said the last part, he wouldn't have bothered to ask the inevitable question that followed:

"Then why are you impressed?" His voice was soft, unwavering. She could imagine him praying in that tone, almost reverential and never quite believing what anyone told him, blunted by human wrath and the sour taste of betrayal.

"Because you tried. Because you always try, even when you shouldn't, even when you don't want to." Ino tried to think of a way to come up with a better way of putting it. "Well, it's like running Suna country, right? People don't think you'd want to, or even would be good at it, but you try anyway, right? And you surprise them, because you love the country that hates you and you want to make it prosperous, and a country run by hate is a weak one."

"That was a very long explanation." Gaara nodded.

"Gee, thanks. Anything else you want to add?" She huffed, annoyed at the smug look that once again hinted at the corners of his mouth.

"It was also very accurate. But it is lacking something."

"Gaara, if the words 'Topless' or 'Striptease' enter the next sentence, I'll show you why Kankuro flinches every time he passes me in the halls." Ino clenched her fist, hoping that the similarities twixt Naruto and Gaara stopped at the persistence. Perversion in a Tanuki-vessel could have very, _very_ sticky consequences… literally.

"_Commitment._ A man can give up; want to give in, especially when logic tells him so. He makes a commitment to the things he loves, and he lives for those till the day he dies." Gaara made a choked sound that could be interpreted as a held-in laugh, but Ino was too busy listening to the words.

"And I made a commitment to this village, even if it hasn't given one back. But that's all I have wanted, even if it is not returned, my love for my home is probably the thing that's kept me alive all these years."

Ino sighed into the air, a cloud of vapour pouring from her mouth to curl into nothingness before the stars. "That's very… very noble of you, Gaara."

The silence returned, the cup of coffee cold and still between them as they watched the moon and stars.

"And what about you, Ino? Do you have a commitment? Do you have someone or something to commit to?"

"No, not really. I'm still deciding."

"Would…"

"Hmm?" She asked, confused. For a moment there, Gaara of the Desert had sounded tentative, almost afraid. But one look at his face showed the usual stoic exterior that she had come to find comfort in, almost… admiration.

"Would you like one?"

"It would be nice, I guess. But I've no idea what-"

"Me."

Ino froze, the words dying in her mouth. Commitment? _Gaara?!_ Was he asking for marriage?!?

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I… what?!"

"What is the matter?"

"W-we barely know each other! I had to tell you off the other day for making me an omelet… _again_! I can't marry a man who doesn't appreciate that people eat other things for breakfast! There's other stuff, like cereal, and toast, and leftover cake-"

"Ino."

"- pie! And another thing, my parents would flip! Imagine if I came home and said 'Oh hi, mom, dad, I'm married now and I'm popping out three babies a week! Sorry you missed it! And they'd be all-"

"Ino."

"- over the head with a _fridge!_ Then I'd have to go and explain to all my friends that-"

"Ino!"

"-Goat tied to the bed!!"

Panting a little from her outburst, Ino pulled herself together and gave the Kazekage her deadliest glare. "Yes, _Gaara-sama_?"

She gloated a little inside as he drew back, and gloated some more when he visibly gulped. She ceased to gloat when the movement began focusing her attention on his lean, smooth neck…

"I didn't mean marriage."

"Oh." Ino couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She would have been able to brag to her friends that she'd turned down the leader of one of the biggest countries on the Earth if that was the case.

"I meant a bond. Of friendship." Gaara smiled, and Ino –in spite of the cheesiness it all must have seemed to an outsider listening in—felt herself going gooey.

"Awww, Gaara-kun, that's so sweet!"

"Yes. A bond of friendship."

"Yup!"

"Then marriage."

If there was a sound to describe Ino's mind at that moment, it would have been _clunk._

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!"

--

"I can't believe this is happening! How could you!" Ino hissed, clad in white and shooting evil eyes at the groom on the altar.

"You don't want this?" He asked her, and she couldn't help but whimper a soft 'yes' and try to answer why she wanted him, his lonely standing or his unconditional love, his nobility.

Ino couldn't answer, and kissed him anyway.

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_Righto! Now, there's a poll up on my profile, check it out. And remember to click the link at the bottom of my profile, it's a great spoof of popular animes and pretty damn fun in the bargain. Oh, and review too, that would be sweet. Feel free to question me!_


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